Saturday, June 2, 2018

I didn't have the funds to do both LBL and thigh lift at the same time so I didn't seriously look into the thigh lift. But, on my last follow up for LBL, I asked for a little more info and my surgeon said that the thigh lift would be just as extensive as the LBL. That surprised me, since, you know, it doesn't cut you in half.

I have considered having thigh lift in Mexico but your experience has cured me of that insanity! Holy Moly.

You will get back to yourself, including leaving the house.

What you need is an Alpine Lake. I give you Lake Annette

Thank you for the lovely lake pic! Yeah, don't go to Mexico for a thigh lift. It's complications city.

I probably should have looked it up before surgery, but according to the American Society of Plastic Surgery: "The complication rate varied with the extensiveness of surgery: from 43 percent for patients undergoing the least-extensive "horizontal thighplasty," to 64 percent with an intermediate "short-scar thighplasty," to 74 percent with the most-extensive "full-length vertical thighplasty."" I think mine is the middle one.

I'm pretty sure that my doc wanted to go with the full-length so ee-gads! 74%!

Wow - I guess it isn't unusual to experience what you have (it did seem like some other posters in the PS forum did). My thighs are a little melty as are my upper arms, but I'm done. Though I may have to have the scars behind my ears from my facelift revised. PS wanted me to massage them for a few more months to see if they would subside (are very raised), but after more than a month of intensive massaging I don't think they are improving.

Greetings on a Sunny Saturday

At least we are lucky to have a sunny day here. Our area is known for fog (hence the redwoods) but I was chatting with a gallery visitor who said the place is much less foggy than it was 30 years ago. Climate change. In our little place its pleasant but in some places its going to be hell unless our species gets its act together.

149 today. Hoping its a temporary thing of you-know-what. Was talking to one of my gallery buddies about the old people's exercise class I used to attend. Gotta get back at it. Another gallery day this afternoon but the village will be thick with tourists.

Yeah Ann, I don't think of myself as having had the BALLS to do wls so much as I had the GUTS. LOL. It did take me a couple of months to get comfortable with the idea and I had moments of panic about not being able to binge eat peanut butter cups anymore. Can't imagine living the way I used to and have a hard time reading the angst and regrets on the main forum. Seems like people have a lot more problems than I did. I was lucky to have an overall good surgical experience.

Cecily, a visit to the salon will do you good. And by the time the next salon visit comes around, you will be rocking' and rollin'.

Well Liz, Justice needs a walk. So do Tesla and Chip but they didn't get one yesterday. DH is sliding back into some old junk food habits but I hope he will at least keep up the walking.

There is a local election next week with a very hot race for our county supervisor. One guy is the husband of one of my gallery buddies. He is the real thing - a genuine do gooder - gets my vote but boy the money that has been spent and the effort that has gone into it is huge.

Shel National Donut Day? Really? Who started that trend? Krispy Kreme? How about "National Eat Sugary Fatty Crap Day"? Oh wait, that used to be every day for me. Maybe we need National Eat Broccoli Day.

Well, peace and good energy to all. Especially Paula.

Diane S

I have another client arriving in a moment, but just finished reading all the posts from this morning. I want to say two things before I go off to trim:

1. I DID NOT EAT A DOUGHNUT yesterday! Even after I knew it was f'ing National Donut Day!
2. Ann, your post this morning was uplifting. Thank you for that. My first instinct as I read it was to discount myself from your inclusion. I read further and decided I was part of "the striving to be healthy" group. I have much more to say on this, but it will have to wait until later.

Devon, you goofball! Anyone as committed as you are to becoming healthier is a medal-wearing, card-carrying, royally robed VSG Maintenance Group member.

Okay, Cairn #2 is done....

Yesterday I floated through the day feeling very ill at ease inside my skin. I know this feeling. While taking Vyvanse this same feeling was highly exacerbated and agitating. The feeling is like a desperate emotional emptiness at the core that is frantically seeking the answer to some unknown question. It's a feeling that NEEDS resolution. I don't know the question and I certainly don't know the answer. The feeling generally comes when I am in the end throes of an addictive cycle. For it to come at the onset of a cycle is very odd.

I am wondering if the feeling is that same feeling I had when I wanted to stop smoking, but was terrified I couldn't do it. I was afraid of facing life without cigarettes because since the age of 15 I had not faced any situation - good or bad - without the companionship of cigarettes, nicotine, and and all that goes with smoking. (I am about 7 weeks shy of being cigarette free for 7 years.) There is an uneasiness to the feeling I felt yesterday that pushes me to partake in the very behavior I consciously want to avoid. It's a bit of a crazy maker and I don't quite understand it. This dysfunction is one of the things that gets in the way of my progress in the obesity arena.

Having almost complete regain gives a slightly different perspective to what VSG means long term. That's where I think I excluded myself from Ann's post. I didn't grapple much with WLS once it was on the table. Once I did my research, I jumped on the WLS bandwagon. I had no remorse or catastrophic thinking about what I had done to myself. I saw WLS as the answer, or better still, the cure to my obesity. WLS surgery would allow me to become thin and that is what was most important to me. At 170 pounds I would be thin and, since I would be thin, life would be good. To me it was very logical thinking. In a way, it still is very much logical thinking because thin is good, fat is bad. So, in hindsight, I think I secretly approached WLS as a magic pill. I said all the right things, but deep down, I think I truly believed WLS was a magic pill against obesity.

Weight loss surgery was not in the end the answer for me for successful weight maintenance. There have been days I have regretted the surgery. The surgery itself was a success. My navigation of maintenance, as we know, has not been as far as maintaining a reduced weight. So, the regret comes in the form of missing the physical feeling of fullness I once enjoyed. I go from feeling basically nothing to too full in a single bite. I have to be very careful of NSAIDs because they are not considered "safe" with VSG any longer. I get cluster headaches and ocular migraines. The only thing that works on them is doses of Ibuprofen and Motrin (Well, dilaudid will kick the **** out of a headache, too, but that's only been twice whilein the hospital for other reasons!-LOL). My chronic nerve inflammation could be treated with daily doses of NSAIDs, but the doc doesn't want me to do that because of the VSG. I have all the responsibility of taking care of my VSG stomach and gut, but sadly, my eating disorder and dysfunction have negated the positive aspects of the surgery - at least for the time being.

As Ann says, my attention, our attention to health is not the norm. At times it feel obsessive (and pointless) because I make such slow progress. I am making progress, it is simply slow progress. I have the gift of a smaller stomach. That is a good thing. I also have the gift of addiction which is often a curse. I am skilled at eating around my smaller stomach. At times I still get untold satisfaction from the feast.

I have said before, and still stand by it, that if I had not had VSG I most likely would not understand the severity of my dysfunction with food. I am very grateful for that knowledge and for my acceptance of my disordered eating. The acceptance has given me an opportunity to examine my self denigration, my self criticism and loathing.

It's this stage of putting it all together - putting the knowledge and the emotional life of weight and eating and obesity and failure and success and self acceptance and and self hatred and the fear of loss all together to build a life of health that can be permanent, rather than fleeting is where I am stuck.

Most of you have found that sweet spot of keeping it all in check and working over the long haul since VSG. That is something enviable in my eyes. It is something I want and for which I continue to strive. To lose weight I will have to "diet". I am sad about that - not going to lie. I was thin. My sleeve made that easy. I am well past that easy weight loss window! Wrapping my head around the profundity of what it means to have the success many of you have (posters and readers alike) and what it will take for me to get there again is staggering. That's where I am in my head these days.

It is a monumental truth for me and one I'm loathe to admit, but it is the truth. hopefully, the time that I can turn all I have learned into action will soon be upon me. I feel it creeping closer and closer and closer.

I do think that the biggest benefit of WLS is the period during which we have to relearn how to eat. But it is so easy to slip back into using food for comfort (or whatever it represents for us). IMHO, the only real plus later is that if you put protein in first, you are full at least for a while and can resist the other stuff at that point. Other than that I think it is still all mind work. Sadly, no magic pill. I actually asked about this a lot before I had surgery because I was always able to lose, but never to maintain So I was pretty certain I had to figure out a totally new way to live my eating life. So far, so good, but it is early days for me still.

Your eloquent musings teach me a lot and help me evaluate myself. I hope that we help you as well!