VSG Maintenance Group
05/30/18, Wednesday
Truly wonderful report..Looks like a corner has turned. A new window with a new view for you. Bet the picture looks so much better!
goal!!! August 20, 2013 age: 59 High weight: 345 (June, 2011) Consult weight: 293 (June, 2012) Pre-Op: 253 (Nov., 2012) Surgery weight: 235 (Dec. 12, 2012) Current weight: 145
TOTAL POUNDS LOST- 200 (110 pounds lost before surgery, 90 pounds lost Post Op.diabetes in remission-blood pressure normal-cholesterol and triglyceride levels normal! BMI from 55.6 supermorbidly obese to 23.6 normal!!!!
Forgot to weigh today. Honest.
Sigh... I saw some pics of me at a puppy match a few weeks ago. Horrifying. Every positive thing I have been working on flew out the window with one quick look. In a nano second who I am internally didn't matter one iota. It was all about thick, massive calves, a hard gut jutting out in front of the rest of me and a jawline that was non existent! Just gut wrenching to see what the camera saw. Luckily, those positive things flew out the window riding on a boomerang and I was able to recapture some of my positivity and hang on to it. So, all is not lost, but I am certainly not feeling great about my weight today.
I don't think I can handle the gym today. Still cringing from my reality check. It's hard to put myself out there when feeling so insecure about how I look. Unless I have some huge epiphany, I will stay home and trim Dottie once I come home from getting my own hair cut.
My consideration for the day is this: Discipline and Consistency.
You are strong! It makes you feel good to feel strong! Let that part of you win. (JMHO)
HW:361 SW:304 (VSG 12/04/2014)Mo 1:-32 Mo 2:-13.5 Mo 3: -13.5 Mo 4 -9.5 Mo 5: -15 Mo 6: -15 Mo 7: -13.5 Mo 8: -17 Mo 9: -13 Mo 10: -12.5 11/3/2015 Healthy BMI Reached! Mo 11: -9 Mo 12: -8 12/27/2015 Goal Weight Reached!
on 5/30/18 5:20 pm
You are harder on yourself than I was on me and that's saying something!! I thought you looked particularly handsome in those pictures you posted the other day at dinner. Your calves and torso weren't laying on the table, but you are a good looking guy! A d even more importantly, you looked happy.
My best friend in the world is a gay man. I think the pressures on men in the gay community for body perfection are so unattainably destructive, arbitrary, and unfair. He talks about being fat while other mutual friends are whispering in my other ear about him being too thin and does he eat enough. He says things like, "straight man thin is gay man fat." Talk about the makings for an eating disorder! He also gets sad seeing visions of youthful perfection. It makes me hurt for him that he can't just enjoy life without constantly measuring himself against this unattainable goal.
I guess what I'm hoping is that you continue to redefine what healthy and attractive mean for you. That they are solely YOUR measures and not anything pushed on you by what outside society deem to be important.
You've been doing so well on the eating and choice making front. Screw the camera. You're awesome. It's doesn't get to change that.
I am not easy on myself. You are right about that. I demand a lot from myself and when I don't make the grade I can be pretty harsh with myself. I am learning slowly to offer myself kindness and empathy during this journey, but a life time of never measuring up and, yes, comparing myself to unreasonable ideas of perfection (some simply unachievable!) has done little to bolster my feelings of self worth.
As for the pics I posted with Linda, I purposely cut off my gut so it would not be on OH. How's that for honesty? But very true. I cropped the picture. Didn't want y'all to see it.
What does Shel say, "Ostrich"?
Well, a true Ostrich wouldn't have allowed the picture in the first place!
About photoshopping: if I routinely posted pics of myself, I would learn how to photoshop this and that. I think it is almost expected in the on-line world. If supermodels are photoshopped, why wouldn't the rest of us benefit from a on-line nip and tuck?
Most my friends of similar age are forgiving, even amused, by our bodys' most recent betrayals. Maybe it is a gender thing? At some point women age out society's expectation of a perfect body, etc. (And to that, I say Hallelujah!)
I wish you could find similar peace. I agree with Cecily. You are a very handsome man and that has nothing to do with photoshop. Just as appealing, you have a personal warmth that comes thru pictures. A decade or two from now, you will finally see that and wonder why you didn't appreciate it at the time.
Accept our reflections of your awesomeness!!!! You should have your 3rd graders do an essay on what makes Mr. Peps special. (Really. Somehow do that!)
HW:361 SW:304 (VSG 12/04/2014)Mo 1:-32 Mo 2:-13.5 Mo 3: -13.5 Mo 4 -9.5 Mo 5: -15 Mo 6: -15 Mo 7: -13.5 Mo 8: -17 Mo 9: -13 Mo 10: -12.5 11/3/2015 Healthy BMI Reached! Mo 11: -9 Mo 12: -8 12/27/2015 Goal Weight Reached!
Okay, you are my newest hero! Thank you for the pep talk! (hehehehe...)
I think in general society is kinder to aging men than to women. Most of what I deal with in the self criticism department is the familial messages with which I grew up and continued into my adulthood, my own acceptance of those messages as the gospel truth, and then also my own sense of aesthetic and my hyper visual perception of the environment around me. (I notice things that many people don't - new outfits, manicures, slight changes in hair style and hair color, new make-up, etc... I have pegged coworker's pregnancies before they were ready to announce them, Ron said I was one of the only person other than his bio mom to notice that he has one eye that is blue and hazel green. You get the idea - hyper observant.) I think because of that acute sense of visual perception I am hyper aware of my own body changes, flaws, etc... It's also what makes me a hell of a dog trimmer!
