May 18, 2018 Friday

Yes, you are right of course Shel. He is disturbed by his birthmothers drinking which I suspect is similar in volume to SIL. But DS sees that her manner is affected. I think she is trying to curb it in anticipation of her wedding this summer. I hope so. Like our family, there is alcoholism in hers as well (probably in most families).

Liz, like Shel I'm not anti-alcohol, even though my interest in it post-cruise hasn't yet returned. ;)

Also like Shel, I chalk up DS's interpretation of your SIL's 4 drinks a day to his still being immortal, i.e., he's a young adult who can grow a new limb in 36 hours and, thus, can't imagine what it's like for one's body not to function that way. Nor could I imagine that when I was immortal.

Acquiring some kinds of knowledge requires experience of the "Ouch!" variety. It's pretty sobering how many insights I was clueless about in past decades. Yet here I am -- still alive, still learning.

I'll probably feel the same way twenty years from now -- a little embarrassed about how clueless I still am about so many things.

LOL - learning is good!

Good morning!

Lot's a mini-stuff happening. Yesterday, we had a timed mile run at the gym....it was last done about 4 months ago. I improved my time by 2 minutes and 37 seconds which is more of a reflection of how super slow I was than anything else. Still, good fun.

I lurk on the gym's forum and I picked up a new self-encouragement line when negative thoughts creep in. So, if my mind starts telling myself that failure is inevitable (I can't run for 2 more minutes, or, I don't want to answer this email, I'm going to eat something instead) I think to myself "I don't have time for that now, I'm busy being awesome."

Silly thing. But, it does turn my mind around for a moment.

Random thought: you all inspire me to be a more compassionate person. Thanks for that.

I hope you all have a great day. Go find some recess.

I'll be busy being awesome.

Shel

I LOVE the recess idea! I used to say all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Hello my name is Jack. I absolutely love to work. Slowed by mood mostly. Recess I have to allow.

Weight: 170. Yikes

I am not sure what my official pre-vacay weight was, but it was either 165 or 167...in any event I'm definitely up. My highest post-surgery weight. And that really sucks since I'm just a week away from my 8 year surgiversary. But in the grand scheme of things, it's "only" 15lbs. up from where I was a year ago when I became pregnant, a weight that was a fairly low maintaining weight, and only 20lbs. from my lowest ever weight, and I just had a baby 2 months ago.

All that said, it's time to get back to reality and count them calories. No more vacay attitude. No more real cokes (gasp! I know), no more desserts for the hell of it, no more M&M's. I don't think I have to go totally disciplined, but I do need to be mindful of the way calories add up. So it's back to MFP. And trying to order healthily off the menu, stopping BEFORE I'm full, not snacking or snacking healthily, no liquid calories.

Ah procrastination. I definitely suffer from that affliction. For me it's in weird combination with perfectionism. Rather than just doing it, I put things off until I can do it right and sometimes I'll sit and plan my perfect diet (while eating Chinese takeout, no less) rather than just act on it or get out and move, etc.

I'm still struggling with trying to balance all the change, especially DH's job change. That was just such a part of our lives for so long and I guess we kind of "drank the Kool-Aid" and it's hard to imagine better. But right now it's also hard to know what the future holds at all. I want to fast forward to a time where we can feel secure and calm. And yet, I have a baby who will grow up fast enough. I want to cherish this time!! How do I stop and smell the roses?! I have trouble doing this in the best and most secure of times! I wish I could be more like a kid who just sees what is in front of him and takes it for face value. We will likely look back on this time fondly. Essentially DH gets paid to spend time with Nugget! And the daycare isn't even open spot yet so this is pretty perfect. How can I just convince myself that everything will work out, as it always does?!

I knew it at the time, but after all these years, I am now even more so grateful that Kurt, due to a downsizing event, stayed at home with our two boys (ages 18 months and 3 years) while I, then returned to the workforce. He was the one to potty train Asher, take kiddos to the park, instill a love for gardening, schlep them to the general store for donuts....mostly develop a deeply loving relationship with his sons because he got to experience the caring part of parenting . Sometimes the gifts that come with the uncertainty of life cannot be imagined. Shoot, missing the craziness of sending kids to daycare was priceless.

Bummer on the computer scene. Sorry.

Love love love asparagus season! (Just refigured out how to upload pictures here-)

Weight- 157.4

Sore and stiff after removing floor staples an strips--one space done, and 2 to go.....

Speaking of procrastination----this forum is a GREAT way to occupy ones self in such activities, so, better put the coffee and computer down for a while and pick up the tools.... Check ya later!

Greetings Friday Fun Lovers

Down a half 10 147.5. We had dinner at friends last night - the breeder of our dogs. I took Tesla down so she could get started on grooming for the July 4 dog shows in our area. Her fur is all stripped down and she looks like a very young puppy and thinks she has to act like one too. Very cute.

Dave good luck with your back procedure. I so hope it helps you. But you are probably going to have to lay low for awhile. You might have to take up knitting to keep your hands busy. Glad the sleep study was ok. Sorry your computer got fried. Boy are there some terrific thunderstorms in your part of the country. WE don't get much thunder and lightning here - just rain and wind and sometimes hail.

Gallery duty on the agenda today. Its overcast so it will be slow but I can do banking and sketching. And deep knee bends.

Procrastination!! I am the queen. Or I would be if I ever got around to the coronation. DH is too. Which is why we never seem to finish de-junking or yard clean up. I even bought a book about procrastination but no clue what happened to it.

Well BB, hope things come into focus for you and DH. Uncertainty is hard. I still think you are doing well on the weight front having just had the little one. Hope you are making her the center of your lives and enjoying this time.

Miss150 the asparagus looks great! I have to get some now that its available. DH is not that crazy about it but that doesn't mean I can't eat it.

Carbon rest that knee so you can get back to walking. So loved your raccoon story but sorry they trashed stuff. Living so close to Mother Nature has its drawbacks. I saw a raccoon walking up up a neighbor's walk the other day in broad daylight. It was rumored to be rabid as it was boldly out where unexpected. So beware. A few years ago we had a number of rabid foxes around and the sheriff had to shoot them.

Liz, the wife of one of my law partners developed dementia. It came on fairly quickly. He placed her in a group home - a family like situation and it was a fine place and she did well there. Glad the support group events went well and good on you for getting out there and finding them.

Hey Shel, good for you for increasing running speed. I will try to increase my circle walking speed at the gallery today. Also eat carrots instead of almonds.

Well time to get busy - busy making more coffee that is. Diane S

214. Quick drive-by: I miss you guys, miss knowing how you are all doing, miss reading everyone's posts ... it's been tough going, my daughter has been hospitalized, super scary, more and more family drama, and I've had the kids. She has recovered and is back home, and I'm twitching and sad about my weight gain, which is about what it was before this latest episode, but I had just started losing again. Big breath in...

Quiet time in the elevator beating myself up for not making better food choices, not exercising enough, skipping support group, not keeping up with this Board ... interrupted by a stranger who said that she is PROUD of me for how well I've kept the weight off all this time. She said she's worked in my building since before I lost the weight and sees me from time to time and has always wanted to say something to me about it but this is the first time we've been alone in the elevator. I can honestly say that I have never noticed this person before, and she gave me the greatest boost!