Tuesday, May 15, 2018

I do so much better when I am focusing on health, fitness and activities that are newly assessable to me because I am in shape.

If I focus on food, I want food. Simple as that.

Greetings from my pity party! Attendants:1

I have hit a self-pity wall today. I smell so bad like pee and as someone who likes to be clean that's making me tear up right now. I can use antibacterial body wipes until the cows come home (though, the cows would probably leave for my stink!) and it doesn't help because the garment is what stinks. I had a few catheter issues where it got kinked which is very bad in the catheter world as it just builds up and comes out where it normally would and you don't know it's happening until it's too late.

(full on crying now dammit) I just want to do ANYTHING for myself and not rely on my legions of friends (I feel so fortunate for them) who then have to see my split crotch pee garment and naughty bits in all their glory and worst of all smell me as they empty disgusting fluids for me. I want to shower. I want to wash this retched sausage casing. I have swelled up like a balloon and that's incredibly uncomfortable. I have an epic wedgie all the time from this split crotch. So uncomfortable! Anytime I do get up, I need someone to help put my recliner bed back together. So no independence there either. I've had enough. And am nowhere near the end.

I talked to the doctor's office today and they said the doctor will likely give me permission to be out of this torture suit for two hours to wa**** I'm going to buy a second one too so I can do that when I want. Correction, ask a friend to do it for me since the washer is upstairs where I can't go for weeks. She said the swelling is expected so I'm trying not to worry there though it severely limits what I can eat as well as my breathing. It also hurts because my drain tubes are trapped between it and my bloated self.

Thanks for reading my grossness and letting me blubber here for a few minutes. I was due for a good cry. I might just cry a while longer before my next victim from my knitting group comes by to be exposed to me.

Loving vibes to you all.

PS - I think I'll cross post this to the Plastics forum so I don't have to think through this again, but I want people considering surgery to know potential temporary bad sides!

Oh, sweetie pie. Courage and forbearance. You must be miserable. I'm so sorry. Please extend the same grace to yourself that I'm sure you would to any friend. This, too shall pass. Keep your eyes on the prize...Those flat tummy and lovely thighs awaiting you behind the temporary stickiness.

Stinky -ness...stinkyness (why, oh why does my computer not know that when I misspell words, it's because I mean to?

Cecily, I'm soooo sorry you're having such a bad day. I have heard that recovery from plastics is tough, and you're living that reality right now.

And yet -- everyone who's had this kind of surgery, once they've recovered says they're so happy they had it. But that probably doesn't help you feel any better today.

Still, congratulations on the prospect of getting into some clean recovery garments very soon. That will probably make you feel human again!

(((Oh Hugs!!!!)))

Wow! My heart goes out to you. I have heard the LBL is one of the toughest from which to recover. Of course, that is the surgery I would someday like to have when I get to the fitness level I desire. (FYI everyone, I went back to delete "...if I ever get to the fitness..." with "...when I get..."! Must change the thinking, right? RIGHT!)

I have a nose like a dog and can smell myself when Ron can't. Hopefully, you are the same and your sense of smell is exaggerated to you and to your friends the odor you sense isn't so noticeable to your friends.

On a completely different note: When do you leave for your summer digs? I'm going to be down in your area in June (dog show in Irwindale). If you are around, maybe we could meet for coffee or have dinner or....

I think the hard of smelling could smell me, but that's a lovely thought, my friend!

Part of the issue is I had a medial thigh lift with the LBL so you're that much less mobile. Not sure I'd recommend that to others...

My leaving plans are still up in the air, but mid June is the current plan. When is the show? I'd love to meet up!!

PS- kudos on the positive wording edits. Positive projection I think works wonders for one's outlook on life!

Oh, I am sorry you are having such a rough time, things will turn around. I am pretty sure that I ordered my second garment to be delivered as fast as possible, dollars be damned, cuz I Just Wanted To Feel Clean. I thought very hard about ordering a 3rd one, too, but ultimately didn't.

Yes, getting that garment laundered will be a game changer for making you FEEL more like yourself.

I am sorry about the swelling. My PS said one can't really predict who is going to get swelling and who isn't. I am sorry that you have it.

Healing vibes being sent from the North! In the meantime, blubber away.

Shel