Monday, May 7, 2018

Never a problem. Fire away. This is one place where my filters are set pretty low.

Weight 168

My nerves are on edge! Tomorrow is the day. I'll let you all know I'm alive when I feel up to it!

This morning I did my first reformer Pilates class. Fun, but I was right about it being torture equipment - haha. I thought to myself, wow, I'm going to be sore tomorrow. And then I thought, I'm going to sore anyway so who cares! I think it will be a great activity to add to my mat Pilates in the fall. It's basically strength training using your body as the weight with pulleys and rolling boards. Like anything you do the first time, it was a bit awkward. But the instructor is the one who teaches my mat class and I went with my good friend, so it wasn't scary.

Bonnie, thank you for sharing your story. Tackling regain and alcohol addiction is a double whammy and worth double commendation!

Liz, it's good to get on top of any osteoporosis. A friend of mine has it pretty bad and her doctor said you can really only stop it from getting worse rather than building back bone. Anybody know if that's true? If so, it's so important to deal with it early on.

Diane O, I agree about not weighing. It's usually the first sign that I'm hiding from my food problems.

Diane S, thanks for the well wishes! And that's a lovely gesture giving away your Prius. Sounds like it could be a real help to that person.

Happy trails, all!

Best of luck tomorrow! I thought of you yesterday when playing with my belly roll. I thought, "Oh, lucky Cecily, she's getting hers taken away!"

Thanks so much, Devon! These rolls have been with me as long as I can remember like back to puberty and I'm 46. I can't even imagine what I'll look and feel like without them. So while it's good, it's going to be really weird too. Who am I if I'm not worried about how to dress my rolls?!

Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking about you!

Thank you Liz!!

Best wishes for tomorrow! Some day I will have to try Pilates with torture equipment. You will be back to it in no time.

Thanks, Shel!

OMG! It's starting.... BREEDING STRESS! LOL! Seriously, it is, but I'm fine. Ella is going to visit her stud dog tonight after work, which of course conflicts with Ron's school district recognition for Classified Employee of the Year. Thank goodness I went to the county board of education recognition and award event! Ron was so cool about me missing tonight, too. He said hormones are hormones and beyond our control. Wow... talk about growth on his part. Years ago he would have said something like, "Well, if puppies are more important than this, go ahead and go..." Lucky me, right?

Weighing every day is a wonderful habit. It is one that I have been neglecting just a little the past month - though I weigh about 5 out of every 7 days. I, too, have made huge gains when I don't weigh regularly. However, I will be honest I have weighed with regularity and watched my 70 pounds come back on. So that technique is not always am assured way of keeping weight from creeping back on. Stepping on the scale is no magic pill for yours truly! Heheheh!

But, I do love, love, love the admission of responsibility and out of control or addictive behaviors. I know with 100% certainty that I am in the stage of denial and bargaining that comes before being able to fully activate recovery. This stage of admission and ownership can last some time before activation occurs. I'm hoping that I find the catalyst to activate sooner rather than later. Miss150/Bonnie's presence has helped me see that a bit more clearly. So thanks, ma'am!

I think I may have been one of those who admonished Diane O for her either in or out of recovery statement. I still believe that obesity is a much more complex issue than either being in or out of "recovery". If that were the simplicity of it, I can't imagine why there would be obesity at all, or heroine addicts, or smokers or alcoholics, etc... I think you get my point. Addiction is a multifaceted and complex disorder. Some have chemical triggers that medical science has identified. Other addictions are still a bafflement to the medical community, but continued studies are helping identify some of the aspects of specific dependencies and addictions. I am feeling grateful that at least today most medical professionals do not consider obesity to be a failure of character, but rather a medical and emotional disorder.

I am quite tired today. Not sure exactly why, but I am. Maybe I am borrowing exhaustion from the future so that I can make it through the hectic schedule of the next few days working full time and getting Ella bred.

Thank you all for listening to me today. Hope it all makes sense. I sort of just rambled through with what spilled out of the noggin today!

Hugs to all!

Fingers crossed for puppies!!