04/26/18 Thursday

So funny, I was talking to my Dad tonight and I mentioned that it took me 3 hours to get home and he launched into it too: "next time you could try the 105 or take the 91 to the 5 or the 55..." I laughed hearing it all in the SNL skit pronounced CA voices. You can take the man out of CA, but you can't take the CA freeway directions out of the man!

Thinking of Paula, and all of you.

I read all the posts but sometimes my memory fails.

Shel your photos are amazing and also scary. I don't think I could ever do that!!

Diane O.-glad the colonoscopy went well despite your hip troubles.eight: 165.2. Shocked it wasn't higher. Having tummy troubles.

I feel...depressed? Good news is I think it's probably completely normal and just situational! As you know, I don't like not having a schedule! Baby still doesn't have a schedule and probably won't for a few more months. I feel kind of "snowed in" every day. Becca likes to be held most of the time, so I feel like I'm watching tv or on my computer for most of the day. But it sure does make it hard to get things done. She doesn't like to be in a wrap, either! I'm alone with my thoughts too much. I guess at least now that DH is home I will have a sounding board? Except now my sense of chaos is overwhelming.

As much as people say that this layoff is just the beginning of bigger and better things, the reality is it will be very hard for DH to find as good a job. At least at first. He'd worked his way up the ladder and it's at minimum kind of like going back to base camp. Those of you who said it was a bruise to ego are spot on. The job market in Oklahoma seems to be contracting. If he were to find a comparable or better job, Houston is probably the ticket. I don't want to go to Houston for so many reasons, but I also don't want my husband to feel like I'm holding him back. We've actually even toyed with the idea of going to work in Saudi or in Scotland, though I doubt we would ever actually do it.

I've spent an inordinate amount of time wondering how, if ever, he could get rehired once the dust settles. I wonder if this is a common emotion? Kind of like wanting to rekindle things with an ex spouse? I'm sure it rarely happens and the wisdom of it is probably not there.

Sorry for all the off topic ramble. I spend too little time with adults these days.

I think all our strong emotions are on topic.

Count me in the group that has seen lots of wonderful things happen for those who were layed off.

But, I don't think it was linear and logical as they moved forward, esp at the beginning. Scary for anyone, esp for those who are Planners.

Even if he is starting over, his new company will know the quality they are getting and have this in mind for the future, even if they don't make promises.

Time moves differently with a baby. Minutes go by slow but suddenly the day is over.

SHEL! I need pharmacological info!!!! I had the best night's sleep in ages not having taken Vyvanse yesterday, but I'm again so tired. NORMAL???? I honestly feel like right now a nap is exactly what should be on the calendar! LOL!

I think I may make a cup of Joe.

Weight was good again today. I just started to type, "Well, good for a regain type of good..." , but caught myself and deleted it. You know why? Because if my weight is good, then it is good. I do not need to qualify it so my "good" is discounted. If it's good, it's good, right? I'm holding on to that 3 pound drop and I like that very, very much. I must not belittle that.

Something is happening. I told you I could feel it. I still love my sweets, but chocolate is not holding its appeal. I am not enjoying it as I once did. Going with it. The night time eating seems to be at bay, too. Perhaps that little page that turned a few weeks ago with jackson's death, is helping me in more ways than I bargained for. Hope so.

As you know, little Tank (who earned the new nickname, "Little ****head" today) comes to school with me each day. Here his is with Abby while she is working on a math problem.

Yup, normal tho not everyone notices discontinuation. Even tho you no longer felt stimulated while taking it, it was, indeed, messing with you.

You will feel much more normal in a few to several days.

Tank is a cutie-patootie.

I used to have a dog named Abbie Damnit. But not a damnit doll. ds

My mom said once God makes puppies cute because otherwise you'd murder them. Truer words were never spoken! I love that picture. Such proof that pets can enhance concentration rather than detract from it.