Tuesday, March 27, 2018

I'll be thinking about all of you.

You did great while in Chicago.

I wish Ben was feeing better....best wishes on the CT. So hard to wait for results. Glad that DS1 is progressing towards better health.

I agree that cuddling with with the pups upon returning home is so wonderful -- so pure.

Paula, welcome home. Home is the safest place in the world.

Man, I feel for Ben! And for you. And the boys.

But I'm glad about your doggie, Chicago deep dish pizza, big city shopping, and DS#1's meds and future prospects for treatment and an easier, fuller, happier life.

And about your eating successes in Chicago.

Sending you good thoughts for the CT scan, Paula.

Weight - 131.0
Macronutrients - Cals 1,324, Carbs 145, Fats 27, Protein 87, Fiber 17
Sleep (goal 8 hrs.) - 7.5
Vegetables/Fruits (goal 8/day) - 6
Exercise - Aquarobics class

Yesterday was another day of only 6 V/F servings, but they were good ones: spring lettuces (there are 14 different greens in that organic mix I buy every week!), fresh strawberries (paired with the greens, a leftover broiled salmon filet from the night before, and fat-free raspberry vinaigrette), green/yellow peppers, bamboo shoots, lots of kale/spinach greens (in a Korean-inspired power bowl), and a perfectly ripened mango (with a little vanilla yogurt). I'm just loving food these days. :)

Today it's raining, raining, raining! Whoopee, since we've needed rain so badly. This morning after yoga I spent a long session at physical therapy doing some new treatments for the pinched nerve in my neck, including some new exercises, some light neck traction, a shoulder/neck massage (and Medicare is paying for this?!?), and some more electric stimulation therapy. I came out feeling like I'd been to a spa.

BTW, yesterday afternoon at my new day spa I had a facial that was wonderful. No spa treatments today, but starting tomorrow I have one or two treatments scheduled every day through Saturday.

Finally, the birds are starting to feed from the squirrel-proof feeder I bought last weekend. That's a good thing, since the squirrel who's been enjoying all the bird food I was serving up in saucers has gotten pretty fluffy. He needs to go out and earn his own living now.

Today's theme (since it's almost April): April showers bring May flowers.

Hello all! I keep meaning to check in but you can't imagine how little I get done per day. It's kind of depressing. In fact, I had nothing but a 90 calorie granola bar until 3pm.

Weight: 166.6. It went up a little--I think maybe my body had accidentally shed too much and realized "oopsie"

I'm trying to take it one day, nay, one diaper change and feeding at a time. It's easy to get overwhelmed, and exhaustion and hormones amplify those feelings. Luckily I think they're in the normal range of things.

I'm still feeling pretty bummed about not being able to nurse my baby. I wasn't even that gung-ho about it...until it seemed that I couldn't. This has caused me to reexamine why I feel this way. I think at it's core, I feel pretty disappointed in my body. I never had a large chest despite the rest of my body, and you know I've regretted my implants--I've never liked that part of my body no matter which end of the spectrum it was on. And now it doesn't even work the way it's supposed to!! But I'm coming to acceptance about it. We change the things we can and accept the things we can't. Working through these feelings did lead me to one other conclusion: I loved being pregnant because I guess i felt like my body did what it was supposed to! It grew a perfect little angel, I had an easy pregnancy, labor, and delivery. And even postpartum hasn't been too bad.

I had to go back and read a week's worth to find out about Devon. I think maybe I'm still missing something. I don't know what triggered him but I hope he will do what he needs for his own health. I also hope that anyone out there reading this knows it is not mine (or any of ours, I think) intent to frustrate others' efforts. We're all just working through this the best we know how. I can now see that my approach doesn't work for everyone. I'm too "liberal" with my eating for many. And that's okay. I think the important thing to know is that there's no one size fits all. I used to be told I could never be successful doing what I'm doing. But it works for me, at least in this moment. I also think we're all works in progress. Today, today's weight, heck this year, is only a snapshot in time.

Baby photo of the day :)

Awwwwwwwwww, she is precious!

Aw, that smile!

I can easily imagine you taking care of baby all day and night --- more than a full time job even if you are getting a bit of help from DH and/or others.

Eventually you will get over your disappointment about not being able to breastfeed. But, that will be replaced by some other worry: you will wonder if you are doing the right thing going back to work (or not going back to work) or if you have the right child-care (or not having any child-care if you decide to stay at home.) And on and on and on....

But, that little baby face....OMG, she is so very precious! Thanks for finding the time for a post. So nice to hear from you.

Very good points.

It's so easy to always have something to be critical of. Human nature? Maybe I should just accept that and move on. I guess I'm always wanting to be at peace with everything but perhaps that's unattainable. Maybe I need to accept that disappointment is a part of life. That's so obvious, but I guess I keep trying to find my way around disappointment--shift my focus, change what I'm disappointed in. But your points maybe have given me a bingo moment of it's impossible to avoid disappointment. And it's not such a bad thing. Just a part of life. Maybe?