Thursday January 18, 2018

Sending lots of hugs Devon!

Liz, It's such a mixed bag of emotions tied up with having a loved one who is ill. It feels somehow not ok and guilt provoking to get frustrated with cir****tances beyond that person's (and your) control. But, I've come to understand that those feelings, even anger, are part of the package and normal. Having to put someone else's needs over our own can be exhausting after awhile, as we have to take care of ourselves too. Hope I don't sound preachy and this makes sense.

I'm not feeling great tonight. I've had a headache and my GI system is out of whack. I had one of those lovely poop experiences we've been talking and joking about, at work. I just made it to the bathroom in time. Clean up was a nasty mess (no pun intended! lol), but at least I didn't get anything on my clothes, and didn't humiliate myself in front of my co-workers. Hopefully whatever is up with me is a one day only deal. Bed early tonight.

Food has been well within boundaries today. Still trying to give myself permission to feel good about me and not self-sabotage. I'm not sure if I'm totally feeling good about me all day, but there's been no sabotage either, and even with the aforementioned bathroom trauma, I didn't feel badly about myself. Progress, not perfection.

Have a great evening. Friday is almost here - Yay!!! Hugs, Mary