Thursday January 18, 2018

Greetings Thursday Thinkers

144 today so thats good. DH being on Atkins has so helped free the house of the tyranny of junky food. I go to the health food store 4 or 5 days a week now to get a day or two's worth of veggies and dairy products. And I happily sit here with good coffee and fresh half and half. I think the organic stuff spoils sooner.

Liz, are plants in Florida getting frost bite? Around here we don't get a hard freeze very often but certain plants really get nipped if we do. Sorry DH is being difficult at times. Do you have a white noise machine to mask other noises while he sleeps? I used to run a fan and now have a white noise device. I got so used to the hum of DH cpap machine that I needed some noise when he got rid of it. There is such as thing as too quiet.

Shel, glad your MIL is home but it makes you wonder what all that was about. I hope you can get some rest. Sometimes a tiny bit of chocolate is a good medicine.

Joey I LOVE your post about your trip. Sounds like a great time and just what you needed. Kale and beets = awesome! My brother makes his own similar shake with kale and beets and other stuff. And hey, fun on the running club. New friends and new activities are always a good thing. And a 7 lb loss is the icing on the cake, (hmmm cake....)

I checked in on yesterdays thread and lots of interesting additional stuff there. You all never cease to amaze me with your thoughts.

Here is wishing you all warmth of all types. Its a rainy yucky day here so I hope those kilns are running. Diane S

PS. DH just announced that "Godzilla vs Mothera" is on tv Saturday. Gotta record that one.

So that's what rings your bell ... "Godzilla vs. Mothera"?

Did NOT know that about you. :)

Tee Hee, we are all full of mystery aren't we? I do love campy old monster movies. Reminds me of Saturday nights as kids when we got to stay up late and make popcorn and watch creature feature. There is an old theatre here that has a sci fi nite where they show really bad old stuff. The movie is free if you buy $ 5 in food or drink. And they serve wine. DS

My late FIL was a big fan of Godzilla movies and the like. He would love the "Godzilla vs Mothera" movie.

Weight: 129.4
Macros: Cals - 1,361, carbs - 142, fats - 33, protein - 102, fiber - 23
Veggies/Fruits (goal 8): 7
Sleep (goal 8 hours): 6.5
Exercise: Yoga at home

Weight is still dropping. I should eat a piece of pie. Really.

Yesterday's 8 servings of V/Fs were spring greens, colored bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, black beans, kale/spinach/greens, carrots, bamboo shoots, and black table grapes.

Yesterday it felt good to get dressed, put on makeup, and leave the house. In the afternoon I took it easy; didn't nap but was super-drowsy.

And last night, after two years of retirement, I had awful work dreams: a fictional, long-time consulting client in Spain (weird, because I never had a Spanish client) didn't care for my work, didn't think I added value, and essentially fired me. To make matters worse, I volunteered not to bill them. Horrible all around. Have NO idea what that was about. Pretty sure it wasn?t about hubby, since he would have been upset ONLY because I volunteered not to bill them. Needless to say, the dream woke me up way too early, but I got up anyway (before 2 am).

Today's big deal is balancing the checkbook and, for the first time in over 20 years, reconciling the bank statement. Hubby always did that. BTW, yesterday I got a new debit card in my name and turned in his card. I've never had my own debit card because, while traveling on biz for twenty years, I lost and had to replace more than a few credit cards. It's now time for me to stop losing things.

Today was yoga class, so YEA!!! I asked the teacher for "The more vinyasa, the better!" (Vinyasa style is one pose after the other, with no rest in between.) Everyone in the class had been suffering massive yoga withdrawals after our two-week hiatus and then Tuesday's bad-weather cancellation. After yoga, I ran more errands. It was almost an old, regular, normal Thursday morning. I've been yearning for those. Then my college-freshman niece came over for a quick 20-minute visit between classes -- sweet of her to do that.

And seriously, I do need to eat more.

Today's Theme: Yogaaahhh!

Having a regular old normal Thursday morning is good!

Ann, glad to hear you're taking care of you! I just read what you posted last night about how you journal. I like the idea of a separate column for goals. I've always heard it takes 3 weeks to form a habit, but 6-18 months sounds more realistic. I think the 3 week thing is more for establishing a routine, which is different.

Weight: 184.6 (FTP?)

Joey-I'm so so happy I checked in on here to see your happy post! Sometimes maybe your body just needs a change. Or maybe you ate more intuitively than you thought? Regardless the reason, I'm glad you had a good time on your trip and that the scale didn't dimini****

Wonder where Carbon is?

One thing I've been thinking about a lot recently is how much of a control freak I am. I think there are several healthy benefits of being "type A" and I'm pretty sure I'm dyed-in-the-wool anyway, but I may need to try and dial it back a bit. I'm beginning to feel later-pregnancy exhaustion setting in. But I'm also so consumed with everything I need to get done before baby that it's causing me anxiety and mental exhaustion to boot! I make lists and schedules etc. in theory to avoid feeling overwhelmed and anxious. And yet...so often they feel like this continual weight. Not to mention, it's easy to see something not go as planned, and deem it a failure. That was one big thing I noticed from last year: how often in the moment I was disappointed when plans fell through or changed, even if they turned out better than planned, simply because it didn't fit the template. So why am I sharing all this on here? Well partially because y'all are so sweet and open and wise. But I also believe this has to have some meaning in my weightloss journey too. A lot of changes are about to take place. I don't even know how to anticipate some of this! That is very scary. Not to mention throwing dieting/weightloss back into the mix. Plus, just in general, wouldn't it be much nicer to enjoy each day as it is than compare it to unattainable.?

BB, I like the idea of enjoying each day. I think that ties in with learning to love ourselves and be accepting of ourselves, warts and all. I tend to be controlling as well, and it can be exhausting, but letting go of the control still isn't as freeing as I'd like - still raises anxiety and other feelings Good for you that you're exploring this!

Weight down another .5. No reason, just the body letting go of a little bit of waste, I believe.

I worked on blog post last night. I feel closed off from the emotional side of the exploration that took me to that place. Everything I wrote is true. The subject is one I have not spoken about before. I've known of its existence. I knew that from its obscurity it exerted a lot of control. It's also something I didn't want to admit is true. I am a reasonable, intelligent person. Shame and fear of reproach are not supposed to be drivers for the intelligent. Talk about a double whammy!Being ashamed for being ashamed. Yeah, how's that supposed to work! LOL!

Actually, I was unable to find any humor in the story I wrote. Carrying the shame created by an unknowing and well intentioned little boy for almost 50 years has taken a toll far greater than I want to admit. Even though I hoped to find a humorous anecdote in this history, I could not. I do tell the story about my aunt with a humorous twist these days, but at the time it held little humor for me. It does now, because I understand how "funny" her level of acceptance was. It went only so far.

The post is finished, but I have not been able to upload it. The site refuses me to log on. Not sure why. I'm hoping to have the post launched by this afternoon.

Not much else to say today. Sort of drained from the writing and the sorting of memories that coming flooding in when I'm writing and trying to make sense of me.

Ah..., were it nap time!