Sunday, 01/07/2018

Chopping leftover vegetables into chili...WIN ! I had beats, turnips and carrots left over and they cut the acidity of the tomato quite a lot. Unfortunately, I had a piece of pizza and half a glass of beer first, and am up two pounds. 136.6 today, but I'm thinking it will be short lived.

Temperature may reach upper teens today... heat wave ! Cecily..your pictures of the burned out landscape are incredible ! It is hard to believe that new, stronger growth emerges from the charred earth. I think I'll make that image my focus for today....

Out of the ashes... coming back stronger and better !

Weight: 132.4
Macros: Still figuring this out!
Veggies/Fruits (goal 8): 8
Sleep (goal 8 hours): 9 hours (aaaah!)
Exercise: None

Hubby had a much better day yesterday. Sadly, our KC Chiefs lost to Tennessee, so they're out of the Super Bowl. And last night, I slept like a log.

I'm still counting yesterday's calories. Thanks to Friday night's sleep deprivation, my HALT issues (the AA concept of hungry/angry/lonely/tired as triggers for drug abuse), caught up with me, and I fell into the tub of peanut butter cookies I baked for hubby and his cache of chocolate truffles. I have absolutely no idea why I didn't gain two pounds. Although I know those sugar calories will show up on the scale tomorrow morning, I don't feel as guilty as I might. I ate 'em, and I'm owning it.

Yesterday I binge-watched Season 1 of "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" on Amazon Prime. What a great show with a wonderful cast and to-die-for clothes. Set circa 1958 on the Upper West Side, the protagonist is a 26-year-old Jewish wife who discovers her passion and talent for stand-up comedy. It's so entertaining!

Yoga class restarts on Tuesday, so this week I'll enjoy five days of exercise for the first time in two weeks. I'm so ready to move my butt!

Sunday's rather prosaic but real theme: Laundry, housekeeping and crosswords

Weight 115.4, calories 873. I slept well last night finally and it is supposed to be warmer today, so I'm going to go walking this morning and begin my other strengthening activities (I had to lay off for a few weeks after PS).

That chili sounds great. I actually prefer a vegetarian chili, but don't depart from beans, peppers and onions, so I think I will experiment a bit.

It was startling to see those pictures before and after fire. It is amazing how devastating both fire and water can be and both have been quite a force over the last year.

So sorry Ann that DH has had some difficult and embarrassing issues, but glad that it's better. My DH has had some bathroom problems on confusing days as well and it is hard for both him and me. But we do what we have to do (and sometimes it may involve some cookies). I'm going to try that show. I can watch it on my iPad, but am frustrated that the older smart TV here doesn't have the Prime Video app and can't be upgraded to get it.

I had several more games arrive yesterday - two dice games recommended by you guys plus Jenga. And I brought Uno from home. DH definitely likes Jenga and should be fine playing it. I left Parcheesi at home and realized that clearly backgammon is out of the question. Hopefully at least one or two others will appeal to him and be easy for him to play.

Have a super relaxing Sunday.

Hi Everybody! That chili does sound good, and it's making me think it would be good to make some! I haven't been here in a really long time. It's so good to see some familiar faces. I've missed you all. I drifted away and it just got easier and easier to not make this daily check in. However, it's been in the back of my mind for quite awhile that I need to be here. Life has been a roller-coaster for some time now. I started a new job (finally) in March and love it. I work with a positive and supportive team, and can leave the work behind at the end of the day. The only down side is that they all like to eat, and, especially during the holidays, there was lots of food around. Everyone on the team is now trying to get healthy though, so hopefully that part will improve. On the other hand, my youngest daughter went through a significant mental health crisis in early December. Her birthparents met in an adolescent psychiatric unit, and depression/anxiety is present throughout the women on her birth mother's maternal side of the family. We were quite shaken up, but with lots of support, an anti-depressant, counseling beginning, all sharps/meds/chemical locked up, and increased structure, she's doing much better. I am cautiously optimistic, though I know we may very well be in for more as she goes through adolescence (she's 12 1/2). My eating has not been good and the weight is adding up. I still fit into some of my clothes, but not all. I have been trying, with some success, to get back on track, but have a long way to go. Along with the need to stay physically and emotionally healthy myself, my daughter needs me to be present. Being present means not being drugged up with food. I am hoping that I can, once again, make checking in with all of you a priority, as doing so is such a support and keeps the need to plug along, front and center. Hugs to all! Mary

Mary, it is GREAT to have you back. Positive energy coming your way ! Sharing with this virtual family helps me so much !

Thanks Diane! It feels really good to be here - like picking up with old friends right where we left off. Mary

Hi! Nice to meet you Mary!

I've been participating for a little over a year on this forum. My two youngest were adopted as well. One has a family history of substance abuse and some bipolar, so we worry at times. I know from my friends that when there are large hormonal changes (especially girls) that it can wreak havoc with mental health when tendencies are there. Our DS did have some issues in late teens/early 20s (when male hormones are raging) but seems more or less on an even keel now (knock on wood).

Hi Liz, I remember you, though I was checking in so infrequently when you joined, that you wouldn't remember me. How nice to meet someone else who has experienced adoption! While it's had its ups and down, just like having children the traditional way does, I wouldn't trade it for anything. During hormonal peaks (puberty, childbirth, menopause) is when the women in my daughter's family have had the most trouble. Birth mom's issues have been more than depression and anxiety, but she seems to be more stable over the past couple of years. My youngest (we have a 19 year old daughter who is adopted, as well) got her period just before she turned 10, so I naively thought we might have avoided all of the turmoil. Her birth family has always been extremely supportive of us and of her, especially during this time, and have given us more insight, which has been invaluable. Her birth mom doesn't know what happened, as she continues to have guilty feelings about the cir****tances of my daughter's birth. She didn't know she was pregnant and used substances throughout. We all felt telling her about what happened would not serve any purpose. Looking back, there were signs of what was brewing, but it was all gradual, and we just thought it was adolescence. All of the professionals have told us we've done everything right, and, sadly, more than some parents do, but the feeling that I screwed up is still there. Intellectually I know I didn't screw up, but emotionally it feels that way. That emotional stuff is what led me to food in the first place, so I try hard to be aware and do what I can to counteract it. One day at a time, one step at a time is all that I can do... Mary

My son was also substance exposed in early pregnancy, though his birthmom stopped once she realized she was pregnant. I think those of us who adopt are so aware of nature vs nurture that sometimes we use that against ourselves. Then there is the usual mother guilt: If I'd only done something different; if I'd only realized sooner; if I was around more; etc. We are NOT easy on ourselves. I think that may be even more true for our community of the formerly obese. It seems like there are a lot of highly educated yet very emotional people in our WLS community who were eating their feelings. Hang in there, I'm sure that you are a wonderful Mom and things will improve with the proper support.

Thanks Liz!