Wednesday 12/20/17

Good Morning ! 137.2... not enough water, and too much wine. The Reiki music CD and larger crate are winners ! Atlas went down without an issue and slept seven hours without a peep, and a mostly dry bed. The bed covers only a small portion, so he can vary his sleeping surface. Diane..ordered the disc,thanks ! Im sure that was part of the successful combination too ! Took advantage of the thaw to find balls gather poopage in the yard. Double the trouble, double the fun !!

BB, I feel your frustrations, which are justified IMO. Devon is right..expecting others to rise to level we expect from ourselves is a no win situation. Seriously, an online virtual shower is doable. If you create the registry and let me know where, I'll take care of the invitations ! Liz, hope your internet and swelling issues are resolving. David, love the story of the baby's name. The pharmacy project sounds so exciting ! Devon, hope Ace's ear is better and that the dentition issues resolve. You and Diane get some great morning cuddling from fur babies. Such a sweet way to start the day. Cecily, LOVE the hair !! Welcome to the 150s. Your weight will stabilize, and as Paula says, you will fill out and shift around as maintenance progresses. Paula, are you confident about maintained the hours you need to receive health insurance ? Positive thoughts !!

Breathe...enjoy the moment !

Good morning! Weight 116.4, calories 911. My appetite is picking up, but I'm still not super hungry because feel a bit backed up. I've stopped taking the painkillers, but I think there are still residual effects. I chuckled this morning at Ann's theme yesterday, "Nine hours of sleep in bed might be the solution to most of life's problems!", because I slept 10 hours last night. I must have needed it.

So Chiquita, our 16 year old chihuahua, has always been a finicky eater, but especially since Duchess died. It has been difficult getting her to consume anything but a couple of days ago I found out that mixing in pieces of sliced roast beef is enough for her to relish her food. Yesterday she actually asked for more (meaning that she came and stared at me and when I got up went to her empty food dish). That's as lively as she has been lately. For the most part she just gets up to go out side or use the pads (more often the pads), eats some, and sleeps most of the time. But she won't sleep on laps anymore, maybe because of arthritis. I miss how affectionate Duchess was. She was always sleeping at my feet and keeping me company.

This afternoon I have a phone meeting with the financial planner to talk about moving my 401K. Once I start my pension and end severance next year we will have to talk about what to do about social security (whether to delay taking it). I hate these discussions even though I know they are necessary.

DH spent most of the day writing Christmas cards and on the phone calling for addresses yesterday. I have the addresses, but it didn't occur to him to ask me. He has sealed the cards so I don't know what he wrote, but hopefully it makes some sense. Now I have to get stamps, and DS is working today. Maybe I can go with my sunglasses on...

Have a wizardly Wednesday!

Hey Liz, we keep a stash of poached chicken thigh meat in the refrigerator and give a little plus broth to the dogs each day. Works well. Tesla was not eating well and after a $90 vet exam we were told to find something she likes to eat; hence chicken. DS

So I guess it is acceptable to enhance her food with human food? I'm not sure chiquita ever loved what we were giving her but I think she ate it fast to keep Duchess out of it. Now that she doesn't have to protect it and can linger more, she just wasn't enjoying it apparently.

Weight: 133.4
Macros: Cals - 1,377, Carbs - 160, Fats - 36, Protein - 90, Fiber - 22
Veggies/Fruits (goal 8): 7
Sleep (goal 8 hours): 5
Exercise: Gentle yoga at home (30") and country walk (32")

Yesterday's V/Fs were carrots, tomatoes, spring greens, green beans, white potatoes, more carrots, and fresh mango.

Last night's sleep was not what I had hoped for. My knee woke me up at midnight, and I spent the rest of the night dozing in my recliner. I drank lots of water during the night (but no night-time snacking - yea!), which is probably why my weight is up a little this morning. Again, yea for not snacking.

Christmas Eve party pressures are building. It's been a long time since I entertained for ten people, including small children.

An elderly cousin died yesterday; she's the mother of my two cousins with whom I recently reunited in the aquarobics pool. Her funeral will be this weekend. Deaths at Christmas seem doubly sad.

I came home from my Monday therapy session with two assignments: (1) prepare a three-month plan (with goals and activities) to address my own emotional and physical self-care needs during hubby's chemo treatments and (2) invite more open, safe communication with hubby about how we're each feeling as we go through this together. Assignment #2 is in response to hubby's and my common desire to make life as easy as possible for each other and to live in the moment. But that approach has also led us to avoid topics we need to be more open about, especially the FEELINGS we are pushing down right now, e.g., fear, anger, grief. Gee, those pesky feelings! I'm working on #1, and hubby and I have agreed to address #2 topics when he feels up to doing so (yesterday was a tough day for him physically).

Today it's aquarobics, knee rehab session, and some errands.

Today's Theme: It's OK to Feel All the Feels.

Gosh, so much going on. So glad you are being proactive with the feels. I am sorry about your cousin. Darn knee. And Christmas Eve at your house.....lots of hugs!

Oh my Ann, those tough discussion**** close to home! Currently we are doing good on all the logistical planning - possible early retirement dates, life insurance payouts, long tern pension payouts vs. a one time death benefit, how bills are paid (Ben does ALL of the finances!) - but we have not touched much of the emotional stuff except for a few tears. Ben was never one to discuss emotions, so I doubt that will change now. He does journal to God most every day, so I assume those emotions get out in that manner! Earlier on in our marriage I used to sneak a peak and read what he wrote (he wrote them on a shared computer). It was one way to learn what he was really feeling but sometimes what he wrote made me angry or sad and since the words were not for me, I never did approach him to discuss. I have not read his journaling in many, many years so have been rather clueless about his true feelings. Men! (at least some of them!)

Maybe you could write to each other about feelings? The logistics are somewhat easier to talk about, but still not easy.

I journal to get my feeling sorted out. It would not bother me if my DW read it but we talk about everything. Sometimes I wish she would. What am I saying she reads this group every day? For me journalling is more about getting rid of it. I tend to ruminate my thoughts at times. I used to do all of the finances, now I just do the online stuff and she does the ones that pay by check. All passwords are on paper and she and DS#1 knows where they are should anything happen. By the way great family picture we got in the mail.

#2 is SO hard. DD and I could only could have little bits of discussions when she was in her last few weeks. It was incredibly difficult for both of us. Same with discussions with DH about his Alzheimer's and the future. My heart aches for you.