Sunday 11/26/17

Thanksgiving with family yesterday. My mom is not doing well. She has DNR and DNI orders and in addition to pneumonia and an increased leak in her 25 year old pig valve, is refusing to eat. She is talking about being with my father, who lost his battle with cancer eleven Thanksgivings ago. My sister the nurse is dealing with the facts from a medical perspective as her method for dealing. Neither of my parents were readily emotionally available, and all four of have dealt with that into our adult lives. Two things I noted were the increase in unhealthy comfort foods being prepared and offered "as a comfort mechanism" and how my own emotional unavailability around death and dying impacts my daughters. Lots to work on.

Weight the same after the two Thanksgiving meals. My restriction and adherence to not drinking with food kept me on track There was a strong pull toward the high fat/sugar/carb comfort food, but my instinct was for protein. Go figure.

Diane O, so sorry to hear about your mom. 25 yrs on a pig valve is about 10 years more than average. As a unit nurse, I have been around more than my share of death and the dying process. I would quite frequently see loss of appetite in people near the end. It is more comfortable for the heart and lungs to be on the dry side of things. First thing we do in the hospital is load patients up on IV fluid and they often look less comfortable than when they were admitted. My mom lives in a over 50 apartments vs assisted living facility. She is 86 and had her pig valve placed about 5 years ago. Her blood pressure is creeping up and that puts stress on the valve.

No wt. Tracking what I am eating is going well and not many surprises. It is the nibble here and there that adds up. I also noticed that I am not drinking enough water. Yesterday was a no activity day. I doubled my B complex and hoped that would help but just no energy. Not much better this morning.

More later, David

Weight 116, calories 1269. Long day yesterday: I drove an hour home between 8-9 pm, which resulted in inability to sleep. I think that late day driving perhaps raises my adrenaline which acts like late day caffeine?

Diane, I am so sorry about your Mother. It is tough to see them failing at this point, but I think they know what the right next step is (if that makes sense?).

The sand sculptures were amazing. Here are a few pictures. I loved the baby and dog and though of BB. The other 2 are the one being done by our friend - the title is "Standing on a Corner in Winslow Arizona...". Those of us old enough to enjoy the Eagles will recognize it.

Have a supportive Sunday.

WOW! How do people DO that?! That kind of talent is so far from my wheelhouse. I'm pretty good at some things, but definitely not that! So impressive.

I am so so sorry to hear this, Diane O. I wish I had words of comfort. I'm glad that you are not using food for this, though. That is a huge deal.

Ocean, so sorry to hear about your Mom. Watching our parents age and decline is so hard.

Liz! Those sand sculptures are awesome! You are always doing some fun adventure!

David, good for you for tracking again!

Weight with clothes on 149, so probably about the same as I was yesterday if I was nekkid! Need to make a Costco run today after church.

Will need to firm up appointment days/times for Mayo appts. this week and double check regarding insurance approval. As of last week we were told we were approved for everything but the approval numbers were the same as the ones we had for our recent appts. so I fear something is messed up.

One last gift for immediate family to get on Cyber Monday and then I think I'm done. Will probably just give my parents money to pay for a housekeeper in FL. Ben does gift cards of various sorts for his family.

Onward!

Weight: Was about 175.2 yesterday. Still feeling a little puffy from extra eating, but probably pretty close to that mark.

Liz-That sculpture is so cute! I hope and think our doggies and kitty will be good to baby. We have a huge lab that babies have stepped on and pulled on and she never winces a moment. And our yorkie is very protective. Allie is also a wonderful, protective cat, though she's such a momma's girl I'm a little more concerned how she'll do with jealousy. Love the Eagles! I saw them in concert about 4 years ago. As far as I'm concerned, they stopped making music in the 80s! lol. I'm so glad I went to see Tom Petty this year in April. Whoa can't believe he's gone.

We dropped off company after lunch yesterday and immediately it was as though dH and I could breathe again! I think he may have taken his family harder than I did. I do think I did a little better after accepting David's truth that this is just how some people are. Especially with my MIL. We took her to a nice dinner and I was able to accept that she was uncomfortable with the prices/surroundings and that's why she acted as she did. And after days of hearing about how huuuge I am, and then hearing her do the same thing to my SIL (who quit smoking...and her mom said too bad she'd now die from obesity), I realized my MIL probably is dealing with some weight issues of her own. Cute moment: my MIL randomly started harping on how I need to be putting body cream on constantly because I'd "split every which way" and my tiny DSD immediately piped up, holding her food belly, saying "I think I'm bigger than Bonnie now" in what was apparently the most adorable attempt to try and take the focus off me!!!

Perhaps my biggest fault this Thanksgiving was that I became to attached to a NOrman Rockwell idea that didn't turn out. And sadly I let that ruin it for me. I was tired, so I'm trying to give myself a pass.

After getting home from the airport, all the Christmas lights had already been put up. Best. Damn. Money. Spent. It was a lot pricier this year since we made the switch to LED but I'm 100% satisfied. Day after Thanksgiving they're on?! NO work on our part? I'm so enamored with the idea of people delivering on what they say they'll do! So refreshing!

We're also working on putting up the tree. I wonder if y'all have this trouble--we have a prelit tree (from Craigslist) but many lights stopped working. Not to mention, it was blowing fuses. So we decided we were going to take out all the prelist and use our own since it was getting confusing what was supposed to work and what wasn't. If you haven't tried cutting prelit lights out of a tree, I can't say I recommend it. Talk about tedious!! But we really love the tree itself. Urgh. But at least we were watching the Sooners do an amazing job while de-lighting.

Devon-I've been reading your posts, just somehow I always read them after posting and don't always make it back to comment. Tuesday, huh? Sounds like a good day! Just remember to be kind to yourself! I forget how you're approaching the detox, but maybe you can make it fun! Like an opportunity to focus on the fruits and veggies of the season--really highlight pomegranate arils and citrus in a salad, Maybe salmon with a pomegranate glaze and browned butter roasted asparagus, etc. Sometimes that helps me.

Diane-Grinnell?! I applied there but did not get in :( I really wanted to go to a liberal arts college.

Aw, thanks Bonnie! Today is the day to plan and prep for detox week. Why I'm so freaking uptight and nervous about it is beyond my grasp today. I am hoping that sitting down today, planning meals, making shopping lists, and looking into the specific time/situational triggers that drive me to the "chocolate dispensary" will help. I like the idea of focusing on the fruits and veggies. I had even thought of that yesterday. My trouble is I really don't like many vegetables, truth be told, though I do love many kinds of fruit.

Happy DD's birthday! It is year 17, the last we will celebrate as a child, at least by the numbers.

For DD's breakfast, I'm making pancakes and serving orange juice. Both are rarities in this household. She works today (I never get tired of saying that) so it will be interesting to see if she gets up early enough to have any breakfast at all.

DianeO, I am sorry, just sorry. It is amazing how VSG is there for us, no matter what. The gift that keeps on giving.

Devon, I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your comment to BB about an alternative way to think about the Thanksgiving experience. Beautifully descriptive writing and so easy to embrace. I'm rooting for you this week, in particular.

Paula and Ann, lots of rooting for the both of you, too. It is all slow motion until it isn't. Hang on, girls!

Last but not least, I'm throwing out leftovers today, no matter the expiration date.

Hug your skinny tight,

Shel