Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Weight ? until at least tomorrow, calories 1232. For dinner last night, I had a traditional Charleston dish (shrimp and grits) and ate too much (less than half, but had all the shrimps). I didn't feel so good and had to stop eating, so thank you again VSG for kicking in. I am terribly constipated, which is the norm for me when traveling. I need to drink a lot more today and get back into a more or less normal routine tomorrow.

520 miles to finish up today, which will take at least 8-9 hours with stops. I'm also anticipating potential pre-Thanksgiving traffic. Regardless, hopefully we arrive between 5-6 pm. Our friends are turning on the refrigerator and water, so I can shop immediately. The food store is closed on Thanksgiving, and we need basics plus ingredients for the dish we are bringing to the meal.

Have a whopping Wednesday!

Weight: 131.8
Macros: Cals - 1,497, Carbs - 171, Fats - 41, Protein - 98, Fiber - 23
Veggies/Fruits (goal 8): 7
Sleep (goal 8 hours): 8 hours
Exercise: Yoga class and walking

Yesterday's 7 servings of V/Fs came from raw baby carrots, romaine, raw cherry tomatoes, chard and spinach, red/yellow peppers, bamboo shoots, and blueberries. I'm eating bowl meals for dinner lately and loving them!

We both slept great last night. Eight full hours and no snoring, thanks to nasal spray and those ever-helpful sleeping socks. I forget who here suggested that I wear socks to bed (Shel?), but thank you so much! I now swear by them.

And now a few thoughts about "Bon appètit!" When we were in St. Louis last Friday I went down to the hotel dining room alone to have breakfast. I ordered one of those "two egg" breakfasts that turned out to be two eggs, five pieces of bacon, two large sausages, fried potatoes, toast, butter, and jam. I asked the waiter to substitute fresh fruit for the potatoes, and he brought me a beautiful little bowl of melon, pineapple, blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries. Of course, he brought me the fried potatoes, too. Then he said, "Bon appètit!"

We all know that French phrase means "Enjoy your meal!" And I did enjoy the meal, eating one poached egg, 2 pieces of bacon, half a piece of toast, a little strawberry jam, and the beautiful fruit. As I ate I began to meditate on the literal translation of "good appetite," that the word "good" doesn't usually mean "bad for you" and also pondered the phrase "healthy appetite" and that "healthy" doesn't otherwise mean "super-sized."

There was nothing earth-shattering about my thoughts, but I realized afresh that I can misinterpret the language I hear and use as permission or even instructions to behave quite differently from the self-care I strive to give myself. Heading into the feasting holidays, a good appetite for me feels like hungering for foods that nourish my body, not foods that ignite my cravings, while focusing on others around the table who, like me, need all the self-care and self-love they can muster.

Today's theme: Bon appètit!

Weight ? Calories yesterday approx 1260

Good morning all. Yesterday was a difficult travel day not because of travel per se but because an elderly gentleman died on my flight to Chicago. Very sad for him and the man?s wife traveling with him. We had a combat medic and two nurses on the plane who worked on him. Lots of crying crew members and fellow flyers.

It?s a brisk 29 degrees here headed to 32 today. My dad doesn?t look very good, which is very concerning for me and he finally told me he?s been falling a lot. He said he didn?t want to scare me, but instead I worry that he?s not telling me things. They?ve done an MRI to look for strokes and didn?t see anything. He thinks it?s the nerve damage from the chemo and radiation, but would that keep getting worse so long after treatment? His wife is trying to get him to call his oncologist. I will join that push. This is a man who was doing 7 minutes of planks a day a year ago and walking 4 miles with me multiple times a week over the summer. Cancer is a *****

So today my focus is spending time with my dad, building memories, staying warm, and starting cooking prep for tomorrow.

Hope you all have a lovely Thanksgiving eve

Clarification... Don't "like" your flight experience, or hearing about your dad's decline. I like that you are here, checking in, and processing.

Cecily, speaking purely as an observer of my husband's body's responses after two rounds of chemotherapy and radiation -- and before he receives the third chemo treatments we anticipate are coming -- yes, his body continues to grow weaker 3 years after the first round and 18 months after the second round. His neuropathy continues to grow worse. Physical therapy (which he continues to do) does keep his muscles stronger than they would be without the exercise. But he's quite a bit weaker than he was even 6 months ago.

Plus, the worse one feels, the less one moves. And we all know from our own personal experience of being obese for years how debilitating not moving can be.

Sorry to hear about the passing of your fellow traveler. Several years ago that happened on a flight I was on. It was tremendously upsetting to the crew members who worked so hard to save their passenger's life.

Boo chemo side effects. So sorry that the miserable neuropathy progresses even now. Good job to the both of you for keeping physically active under very difficult cir****tances.

That's really helpful, Ann. I mentioned PT to him as an option. He didn't seem to want to hear any suggestions from me, I'm just "the kid" (at nearly 46!). I will plant a bug in his wife's ear, though. We are generally on the same page with regards to him so I think he may hear her when he doesn't hear me.

Liz

It will be so great to be settled in your southern home, and enjoying some fabulous sunny weather. Damp and bouncing between snow and rain here.

Yes, our struggles with being comfortable and balanced in our healthy lives are real and constant in their ebb and flow. Identifying them and talking about them helps us learn from them and move forward. Much of my CBT work was based on my long held belief that I am not enough. I am not ____ enough. The fill in the blank list is endless: thin, pretty, popular, smart, artistic, athletic, successful ... Accepting/believing that I AM enough is a work in progress... even with a bracelet on my right wrist with those four powerful words engraved.

All of us ARE enough, just the way we are. So grateful to be on this journey with all of you.

Diane

Dashing thru!

It looks like the other pharmacist is well enough to work a short schedule today with assistance so I don't have to go in. That sounds terrible and I worry that she is going to be slumped on her desk, officially there, but miserable. I will help out, maybe go in. We shall see.

In the meantime, there is Thanksgiving Prep! But first, a gym workout! Much sweat!

For the first time, maybe ever, I am not feeling food triggered as I prepare for tomorrow. (I don't have to be the host to feel triggered around any holiday, even Groundhog Day. Maybe even with a Starbucks Stars offer on my phone).

I am loving focusing on food I love which happens to be pretty healthy. What isn't full of nutrients will be a treat that I won't sweat.

Speaking of sweat, must dash.

Two more things, DianeS, I have neglected to tell you congratulations on 8 (???) years!!!! Thanks for showing us how it is done. Also, Cecily, my understanding of chemo side effects is that they may linger but don't typically progress when chemo ends. But, if your dad is weak, they more be pronounced -- for example, if he has leftover chemo neuropathy that affects balance, perhaps in the past he was stronger and better able to compensate with muscles.

Shel

Diane S., ditto congratulations from me on your 8 years of post-WLS life and successes. That is sooo awesome -- more than twice as long as I've been sleeved.

Thank you so much for establishing this group, which has become important to me this past year. I'm so happy to be here and echo DianeO's comments about enjoying being on this journey with y'all.

This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for each of you and your keystrokes, smarts, courage and support.