Thursday, October 19, 2017

Weight: 131.4
Macros: Cals - 2,167 , Carbs - 229, Fat - 98, Protein - 98, Fiber - 32
Veggies/Fruits (goal 8): 6
Sleep (goal 8 hours): 6 hours
Exercise: Aquarobics class

Yesterday was an odd eating day ... went to late afternoon tea (a charity event) and had fruit salad, a scone with lemon curd and whipped cream, 3 little tea sandwiches, a lemon tart, chocolate covered strawberry, Mexican wedding cookie, a couple of chocolate covered almonds. They were not my usual afternoon fika menu. On the way home I picked up a couple of Burger King Whopper Juniors for hubby and me. :)

I know that enjoying the odd tea party and relying occasionally on fast food is part of maintenance life. BTW, Devon's musings about the goodness of food (thank you, Devon) help me keep a proper perspective. Thank you, Devon. And thanks again, to BB and others, for your recent recipes and menu ideas.

Heading out this morning for The Big College Reunion. I finally figured out my travel wardrobe or, as they say down south, my "outfits" I'll be staying with friends who live on a lake, and they've promised to teach me how to paddleboard. Needless to say, I've packed shampoo/conditioner, since I'll surely spend more time under the water than on top of it.

Today's (repeat) theme: This is the day the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Weight 115, calories 962.

I found Devon's post yesterday to be very thought provoking (as they usually are). He equates food with love. I used to see that in some of my friend's homes, especially those in Italian families. My mother was a no-nonsense, put the 3 nutritional basics (meat, non-starchy vegetable and starch) on the plate person and don't overeat. No bread on the side. Dessert later. I approached food the same way until my mid-teens after my Father and brother died and my mother became an alcoholic. Then I had to fend for myself mostly and I began to eat for comfort. I really ratcheted that up after I married and had a child at 17, when I would buy and eat half a cake at a time to comfort myself when I was lonely or overwhelmed. When my life was back in control in my early 20s (I went back to school at night, divorced my first DH and ultimately got a good job), I also gained control of my eating and dropped to a healthy weight. So began the many, many cycles of eat/gain/lose over my lifetime until WLS. Guess when my biggest and longest gain was? After eldest DD died.

Thank you Devon for helping me think through this - when DH deteriorates and I don't have as much control, I hope I can use new coping mechanisms other than food. At least being aware of my triggers is a plus!

The next 2 days are my short work days, then I am only working 3 days next week (going to the OH conference next weekend). Then 2 more work weeks and I'm done!

I hope you have a great time at your reunion Ann!

Have a Thoughtful Thursday!

Wow, Liz! What a lot of life stress you've had at a young age, and how much you've dealt with.

Reading your post reinforces why I think folks who have WLS later in life can be so successful post-op ... we've got so much context and perspective for our eating behaviors, especially comfort eating in times of stress.

Today is another travel day. Way too many of these. Visit with my mom and work day on the house. Eventually I will spend a week or 2 to get things complete there. I still have a bed there.

My grandfather owned a grocery store. He saw that the people that could not afford food went to the doctor more. He raised my dad and my parents raised me that food was healthy. Overweight was only a sign of being over healthy. It did have a, I love you so here is something to eat, element to it . They really thought they would spend the money on food or doctors. We had no restrictions on portion size or snacking. We ate until the food was gone. I had a paper route starting in the 4th grade. I spent most the money on candy and cokes. I weighed 185 at 13 yrs old in the 7th grade. I have a life long history of obesity.

On a brighter note, the theme is great. it is a day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

More later, David

LOVE today's theme! Probably my second favorite verse after I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - Phil. 4:13

Speaking of strength, I had another good eating day yesterday and got exercise in to boot. That's 2 days now, here comes #3!

I didn't have to go in for work yesterday and in fact don't have to go in the rest of the week. We are soooo slow. Thank God DH is the main bread winner in the family so we don't take too hard of a hit when I have to low census.

Oh my goodness Liz, only 15 more days of work! Yahooooo! And Ann, have fun at the reunion, especially paddle boarding. I have wanted to try that for awhile now but have not had the chance!

Dave, sorry you have to travel so much as of late but sweet that your mama still has a bed for you!

Haircut and (home) color on tap for today and some house organizing/cleaning. My exercise room has been set up as a photo studio for months, time to change it back to the exercise room.

This is the day the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Thanks, Ann ! After I took Sadie for her walk, I went on an additional 3 mile walk to be present in this beautiful fall day. When I am walking Sadie, I have to be alert for squirrels, rabbits, and loose dogs, so I don't end up on my face.

Childhood food issues. Money was tight when I was young. I remember "good food" and "treats" being saved for company. I remember as the pudgy oldest child, being restricted because siblings needed it more. Hoarding and sneaking food and snacks became a way of life for me. I realized later that I equated eating what I wanted, when I wanted it, and as much as I wanted with "being good enough". It is only in the last five years that I have begun to internalize all of my hard work around "I AM good enough" and the disassociation with food as the determiner has begun to subside. Wow! Feels good to say that out loud!

Waiting for a phone call from work. There is an impending deadline they are struggling with. I think it is time to shut down the work email account !

"I have begun to internalize all of my hard work around "I AM good enough" and the disassociation with food as the determiner has begun to subside. Wow! Feels good to say that out loud!" Yay for you Diane. This is huge!!!!

Sounds like I need to go back and read Devon's post. Those are always a treat. But I may need to get more in the right frame of mind before.

Weight: 167 something. Gah. Hitting my high weight now.

And I also started showing like yesterday. May be because I finally threw in the towel and put on maternity clothing (which these days accentuates the bump). But I suddenly have honest to goodness anxiety over this. Sometimes I think I'm more well equipped to deal with pregnancy weight gain. I've been there, done that (with weight) and for less of a good cause. My body has survived 277lbs. and lived to tell the tale. I already have stretch marks so, ha! But today I'm feeling sad and unwilling to go back. Will this mean excess skin again? Will there be a happy weight waiting for me on the other side of this, or is this losing the battle for good? I know that's dark and depressive thinking, but that's a little of where I am today. I've already played my trump card with vsg and plastics! I know what it's like to be obese. It's not just some novelty for 9 months for me. It was my reality for 22 years...22 years too long! I feel like they'll have to drag me back kicking and screaming.

Okay, how was that for dramatic?! It's just such a unique position to be in. I need to go back to thinking nothing is set in stone. I can relearn how to exercise and watch calories. I can have a tummy tuck revision (I was already eyeing lipectomy!), hell I can even have vsg again if need be.

Please, please, please don't stress over this. You got it girl. Gain a healthy amount of weight for baby (and so what if you gain a little more, heck I gained 60 lbs. with my first!) and worry about losing it after the baby is born. You can continue to exercise through pregnancy and I think that is a good idea. Will help you with the delivery and keeping up with baby girl after she is here!

Greetings Great Rejoicers

Great theme for the day - rejoice. And you all are not just good enough. You are GREAT (Tony the Tiger voice). We are all imperfect but that doesn't mean we are not wonderful. So there.

Well my stupid scale couldn't decide whether I weigh 139.5 or 140. Some junk food flew into my mouth yesterday in spite of good intentions. DH brought home these veggie straws that are only slightly healthier than potato chips. I must have him hide those. They are irresistibly crunchy. Its one thing to eat at someone else's event but another to have the junk in your house.

Yeah I can relate to the food = love thing. My mom went back to work and school when I was 3 or 4 and she used to bring us little surprises which were often candy. It was a substitute for her attention or so it seemed. And on top of it, my older brother was a compulsive eater and if we were all brought a twinkie, he would eat all of them. So if younger brother and I found cookies, we felt like we had to eat them to keep older brother out. And grandma made pecan pie. So we were all fat kids except my younger brother decided he didn't like it and had the discipline to turn it around and has remained slim ever since. My older brother got SMO but eventually had vsg at my suggestion. He did really well. Unfortunately he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor a couple of years ago and now has poor appetite. I saw him on this last trip and he is not doing well. His wife is SMO and doesn't cook and they eat out all the time and her mobility is very limited. Not a good scene.

Diane O, sounds like we had similar childhood experiences of food hoarding and such. I feel like I have pretty well let go of that history but lately I have been bombarded with calls and paperwork on mom's estate and gallery finance and I really wi**** would slow down and am trying to keep resolve that this stress is not a reason to damage my body with food. Thank God for good friends who are helping long distance.

Scrambled eggs and shrimp last night which was good protein. I don't think veggie straws count as a veggie.

Liz loving your work count down. Freedom is on the horizon. I sure identify with the stresses you had as a young person resulting in overeating. What a tough time and good on you for coming through it all.

Hey Ann, have a great time at the reunion and paddle boarding. I see people doing that on bay here but don't think I could manage it.

Hey BB try to enjoy the pregnancy and not stress about those pounds. It is normal to gain weight. I had a friend who gained 50 lbs in pregnancy with a 6 pound kid but it all disappeared and she was slim again long term.

Well time to get back to today's chores of calling people who have not done what they promised to do and getting after them. Doesn't anybody do their job anymore?

But first, another serving of caffeinated veggie. Diane S