Friday September 22

Weight 114.5, calories 1253. Tropical storm Jose is still howling outside (day 3). The wind isn't terrible except some of the gusts are 40MPH+. Not a ton of rain, but it is constantly wet. It is supposed to move out tonight and and finally calm down tomorrow morning.

We are heading to our old hometown this afternoon to close out an account at a bank and meet DD for dinner. It is further inland there so the weather should be much nicer (we will be out of the wind after about 1/2 hour). I will be tired by the time we get home: DH had one of those nights where he disturbed my sleep a couple of times so I have been mostly awake since 2 am when he sat bolt upright and pulled all the covers off the bed.

Oh and first thing this morning we are finally getting the new refrigerator we ordered about 3 weeks ago. Good thing I did it in advance of a complete breakdown as they had to reschedule delivery a couple of times.

Have a fabulous Friday!

Weight: 162.8 :( I'll find out today at appointment how much I've gained in a month. Guessing about 3lbs. and that's okay. Still, seems most of the ladies who kept pregnancy weight gain to a minimum had gained nearly nothing at this point, and I'm at about 9lbs.!!! Ugh. This is really making me think I have an obsession with the scale. Even saying that, though, I cannot walk away from it. Because as bad as that may be, the alternative is worse :(

I'm sweatin' the small stuff today. Too bad I don't burn calories for that or I'd be a much skinnier person. I realize this is hashtag firstworldprobs (and that makes me feel more guilty). While the floors are nearing being done, it appears that they will not be sealed until next week. I'm just so sick of contractors and their excuses. I mean at this point I think they're putting in a good faith effort to do what needs to be done to get it finished, and they just want to be careful and not seal in any moisture (the wait time is what's delaying the final finishes) but I just feel so ANGRY! That I get lied to about everything. And that the contractor responds much better to my husband...apparently because I'm a woman?! I forget if I told y'all that I bought a new dining room set, and now that woman is down my throat trying to get it out of her house (totally understandable; I'd be there too) but I have to first move all the junk from the rest of my house back to it's original place from the dining room, which mean the floors have to be done first, then I have to unload (carefully) my china cabinet, then have movers come and move the old dining room set to garage to await pickup, then go pickup new stuff...in other words that's a lot of moves that depend on prior moves and I need to get it done before next weekend because I have houseguests coming and a party next Saturday!!!!! Thank God it will be done and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And I do remember how small these complaints are in the grand scheme of things. Ugh I need someone to knock me upside the head and shake me and say *these aren't big problems Bonnie**!!! But why then am I soooo stresssssed?!

No way am I telling any pregnant woman to calm down!

Seriously, I don't know what powerful biochemicals are coursing through your body at warp speed these days. But I bet there are some pretty useful evolutionary reasons why human women get amped up during their pregnancies.

One of my sisters told me she first realized she was pregnant when she started crying during a Calgon TV commercial. And that wasn't even a joke.

If it makes you feel better, during my pregnancies, I would have dealt with that stress by staying in bed sobbing. So don't beat yourself up, you are fine.

Weight: 131.8
Macros: Cals - 1,930, Carbs - 234, Fat - 70, Protein - 95, Fiber - 22
Veggies/Fruits (goal 8):
Sleep (goal 8 hrs.): 7
Exercise: Yoga class

Third day in a row at this new low weight, despite the fact that during yesterday's book club a dark chocolate brownie flew into my mouth by accident. When people cook for you from scratch, the social pressure to partake is heavy. [Eyeroll]

Friday Science Bonus: Here's a little finding from an experiment I conducted last night: Two slices of pizza + a salad with tomatoes and balsamic vinegar + red wine = acid reflux.

I had to miss aquarobics this morning due to hubby's biopsy (loooong wait times), but I got in an hour of walking inside and outside the hospital. Yea!

And now I gotta go mow.

T.G.I.F.!

Thankfully, I was not needed in FL. DS#2 and DIL did not have any damage. Just loss of power for 3 days. The neighbors had some damage. Lots of clean up to do.

Sorry for the long time no post. Losing the fight with depression. The line between sanity and insanity is very thin slip into "fuckdom" Recent med change is helping. SO very thankful with a little light in my tunnel. My weight has been climbing but that was not a concern until my mood lifted. Also seems that my pill pack was not stocked with my diuretic and that contributed to weight gain. So I'm peeing like a race horse today.

I plan to wean off of the N&Y, again, in about 6 more days to see if I can stop the cravings. I will eat what I don't want to eat so I can weight what I want. Already causing some anxiety but have loaded up on fruits and veggies and a meat I can tolerate.

Catching up over the past week or so:

Liz, congrats on the job/retirement plans. Times they are a changing.

Devon, your puppies are beautiful. I know it will be different as they leave the pack. 11 puppy poops! that is still a lot of it.

Diane O, congrats on the teaching. Hard for a teacher to not teach. wish I was closer. You could teach me. Glad to hear of your gratitude and joy!

Shel, Your hikes are to die for. I have my screen saver rotate through pics of family and inspirations. Your pics are being added. And, dog gone I like you too.

Bonnie, Living in construction is hard. Trying to decide for long term and wanting it done now is hard. Glad it worked out to get it to match. Construction always takes longer than is first planned. I was a custom cabinet maker before nursing. I didn't mean to lie to my customers. It just took longer than I planned. I think it will be worth the wait and it will be like you like.

Ann, Thanks for your posts that give me more food options. The mushrooms sounded wonderful. I am CDO that is OCD in alphabetical order, LOL. I have my clothes separated by wear to the doctor, wear in the shop or to town and good enough to paint in. I do however, become attached to my close. When I find something I like I buy multiples. Self-efficacy I need me some! Best wishes for DH lump biopsy.

Joey, Hope your DD is doing well. Your work crew did well.

Paula, ACLS was stressful enough in real life. Can't think of passing it in the virtual world. Hope your cold leaves soon. Sending healing vibes for DH. I too do my own laundry most of the time. I used to wa**** all together and dry everything but I'm learning.

Diane S, Hope you don't have to do much more jury duty. I would dread that. I used to be kind of a hoarder. Especially in the shop. Could hardly throw away any scrap. I house fire several years ago and relatively recent reading on minimalism has changed me.

More later, I hope, David

Hi David! Nice to hear from you. I'm glad your new meds are helping and hope they continue to do so!

Oh, Dave! So happy to hear from you. I'm glad you're getting your meds addressed. And I'll be happy to describe my future veggies/fruits/meals for your benefit. BTW, one of my favorite lunches is this boring but delicious (to me) menu:

Turkey/cheddar cheese/sweet tomatoes sammich:

2 ounces of oven-roasted turkey deli meat

1 ounce of cheddar cheese (I love the Cabot cheddar 2-pound block from Walmart)

12-15 little sweet cherry tomatoes (green, yellow, orange, red) sliced thinly and marinated in a LITTLE balsamic vinegar with sea salt and black pepper

2 tablespoons Hellmans light mayo

2 slices Sara Lee multigrain bread (90 calories for 2 slices)

Serve sammich with 7 baby carrots sliced into little disks (CDO enough for ya?)

The macronutrients for all this are:
447 calories and grams of carbs 38; fats 22; protein 32; fiber 9

I eat this sammich 3-4 times a week. Not even close to tired of it yet. :)

P.S. And yes, I do measure and weigh all this stuff. My name is Ann, and one of my superpowers is CDO. :)

Not too long ago, I had to admit to my doctor that I was losing my war against depression and could not stop crying. I was afraid that life had become too much to handle, but as it turned out, a medication adjustment did the trick.

Admitting it sometimes makes it more real. I have had years of pills and potions that worked then didn't. Up the dosage and sometimes it will work a while longer. Glad your medication adjustment worked. Hope it continues and sorry you understand the battle.