Tuesday September 12

Weight 117, calories 1206. Almonds are gone, thank goodness, so if I can eat "clean" this week I can slip back to the middle of my comfortable range rather than creeping to the higher end. I didn't mind that end after vacation or even a long weekend, but when I'm creeping there during the week it makes me nervous...

News from Port Charlotte! Power is on in the park. No injuries, no big trees down, just a lot of debris. Some of the soffits blew off the structures. All will be taken care of by the HOA. Thank goodness for condos!

So far most friends have reported in as safe -- those that haven't evacuated so probably just haven't had time. Florida is in for a HUGE cleanup. I work in large Commercial Property Insurance and the claims are just starting to come in on Hurricane Harvey. This season is a nightmare for insurance companies. Underwriters have to change their tactics because rates will be going way up.

Speaking of work, the word is that the jobs in my department are finalized and notice will be coming soon. The panic level is increasing for some. I wish they'd just pull the bandaid and get on with it.

Have a tremendous Tuesday!

So glad to hear your place in FL is okay. The condo building that my parents lived in fared well too. Many of their friends were not back to FL yet, but those there said all is well!

Work today. We have been super slow, so there has been a jiggering of hours and days among staff and all of us have been taking low census (time off without pay or if you choose you can burn your PTO).

Have a terrific Tuesday everyone!

Weight: 135.6 (down 3 pounds since yesterday)
Macros: Cals - 1,361, Carbs - 138, Fat - 36, Protein - 127, Fiber - 25
Veggies/Fruits (goal 8): 6
Sleep (goal 8 hrs.): 9
Exercise: None

Yea, Liz, for your condo being in good shape. And yea that the almonds are gone. Shoo, almonds!

I'm still catching up on last week's posts. Diane, I'm so sorry to hear about Liza. Joey, glad to hear you have a therapy appointment. BB, I'm loving all your baby news and your excitement. Shel, your cool-weather hikes sounds glorious -- gorgeous pix, too. DianeO, I love your Buddha and facing installation; hope you suffer zero strep infections this year. Kairk, your life right now sounds like a West Coast hurricane! I want to send the Red Cross out there to help you. Paula, I hope Ben's tube scene gets better very, very fast; glad to hear you found time for yourself to exercise. And anyone else I haven't mentioned -- it's so good to be back with you guys.

Slept great again last night. This morning I'm down 3 pounds from yesterday's post-wedding / air travel weight. Heading back to yoga this morning, with a "tea" afterwards at a fellow yogini's beautiful loft. Then grocery shopping, unpacking, house cleaning, etc. Yesterday I just hung out and rested.

Peace is returning.

Hi all

Weight 162, but that was pp

I'm sure I have gained a little bit, though. The weekend plus birthday plus pregnancy excuse=food. So I'm not on a diet. And I love that. It actually feels more normal to me, and I do feel like I start to eat more intuitively. However, here's the big difference this time: I'm gaining weight. Sure, I should be gaining weight. But in my head/heart I begin to panic. And panic makes me feel like I should diet. But of course I cannot diet. Which makes me feel like I should throw caution to the wind and undiet. I have to be very veerrrry careful of slippery slope undieting mentality. If I'm being really honest, I can sometimes catch myself eat not because I'm hungry, but because I can eat, and almost this sense of urgency and needing to eat before the big diet comes. Does anyone else relate at all??!! When I look at my eating habits, dieting is always followed by undieting, which is why any very strict attempts to limit my diet are a wreck for me. But I think this is very personal. With pregnancy I just need to keep remembering that I can always enjoy a small amount of something craveable--not just during pregnancy. And that weight gain is normal now, and that my focus needs to be on continuing to eat healthy to sustain a healthy pregnancy.

I had been feeling much better the last 3 weeks or so, but in the last few days I'm feeling unwell again. I'm not sure if it was just a hectic weekend, the stress of the house construction finally getting to me, the high allergy count, the dust in the house, or just plain ol' pregnancy. Lots to choose from! I've never been a night owl, but recently I'm been falling asleep sitting up at like 9pm! And here at 9am I'm feeling like I could retreat back to bed. I feel a little mad at myself...like there are people working much more strenuous jobs with toddlers and pregnant who do this! Get a grip, Bonnie!

My birthday was lovely. Hubby and I ate lunch out on the patio of the arts district. The weather has been GOR-GEOUS! I tell ya, I love September. :) (Side note: I had a spinach salad. Spinach KILLS my stomach. I keep wanting to try it again, but it gives me terrible abdominal cramps). Then we went to an antiques store, bought some fall candles. An early dinner at a steakhouse with DH, DSD, sister, grandma, mom and dad, and then watched the OU-Ohio State game. What an amazing game. (at least for Sooners!! Thanks boys for giving me a "W" on my birthday!) It's everything I love about college football.

Pregnancy 1 gained approx. 75 lbs. = diet to the wind, ate whatever I wanted including lots of Milky Way bars and Chinese food.

Pregnancy 2 gained approx. 50 lbs. = diet monitored a little bit, but still ate whatever I wanted.

Pregnancy 3 twins gained approx. 50 lbs. = all babies (both over 6.5 lbs.) and baby-related. These were not my babies, it was a HUGE responsibility. I wish I had eaten as well for my own babies, but I was young. If I could go back, I would eat for my babies, not for myself.

Is it only Tue? How long is this week going to be?

A couple of you have touched on some of my own morning musings. My Orange Fitness gym has a weight loss/clean eating challenge coming up that culminates in some sort of exercise "hell week" in 6 weeks. If you sign up, you get a free (ugly orange) tshirt at the end.

While a person of any fitness could do these workouts, mostly I see people who look pretty fit. I like to think these peeps are a window into what food-normies are like. I am well aware they might be as dysfunctional as me, but I prefer to think of them as well food-adjusted.

So these normies just see these challenges a pre-holiday tune-up. Not a diet. Not deprivation. Lose weight if you want, but it isn't a requirement. The gym is loud and clear that each member defines "clean eating" for themselves, they aren't offering any advise.

Besides moving into the holidays strong, my surgiversary is Dec 4th. That date is tatoo'd on my psyche. I hope it will always be a time of honest self-reflection. And, if I am going to be honest, I would like a pretty reflection to look at. Some bad habits have resurfaced and I want them aggressively squelched. So, I signed up for the challenge.

I am not sure how I will like being reminded of the challenge at the gym. (Heaven help them if they sound like my mother.) It is easy to imagine being irritated and uncomfortable. But, being irritable is in my nature --just ask Mrs. Nelson, my 1st grade teacher, who wrote exactly that on my report card in permanent ink. And, if being uncomfortable makes me walk by fresh baked 18 cookie sleeves at the food coop, so much the better.

Hope you all have a wonderful day! Devon, hope your school year settles down.

Shel

That's awesome about the challenge!

I go back and forth on how to treat my observations of "normies." I know some of us on the board here have suggested that it is dangerous to even attempt to emulate normies because we can never be. Idk. I do think you can begin to retrain your brain--but it's a long process, a treacherous one. And I guess I still have to have checkpoints along the way to make sure I'm being real about it.

As much as I hate "dieting", I think it's because of all the negative implications from the past history. And it never really got me anywhere. Sure, there are still thin people with screwed up attitudes toward food. And even if they want to go on a crash diet and it works for them, that's not for me. But I also have observed what you have--that normie notion that I might gain weight during the holidays, so I'm going to prep now so I have a little more leniency later. Or I especially see this before someone goes on vacation--and of course they want to look good in a bikini too. While these are maybe more drastic spikes, I think they still fit into the scheme of moderation.

The farther out we get I think the more we realize we simply have to find what works. I think one thing I'm realizing is that I will never be done. i don't think ANYONE who's had this surgery will ever be done. I might get a couple week's reprieve, or I might be happy about my weight for awhile. But life changes. And as long as we have any relationship with food beyond satiety/nutritional purposes, I don't think we'll ever be able to have a plan for 100% of the time. We'll have to continue to adapt and reflect. And maybe that's the biggest determining factor of success--a willingness to continue to make changes.

Aaahhh ... "dieting." It's a word and an activity that makes so many WLS folks nuts. In contrast, my own post-op reaction to "dieting" is pretty much a non-reaction. Neither the word nor the activity of "watching what I eat" doesn't upset me. Nor do I have a negative reaction to my pre-op diets -- those were the times I actually felt in control of what I was eating.

Much of my comfort with dieting as a way of life is that I don't think of it so much as what I CAN'T eat, but what I DO eat. And since I now eat pretty much anything I want, my focus now is on portion control and proportions of foods I choose, e.g., more dense protein and more veggies and fruits than highly processed, low-nutrient foods.

Perhaps if I'd had WLS at a very young age I'd aspire to eating "naturally" or "instinctively" or "normally." But there's no way at my age I'm going to turn into someone who doesn't obsess about food. Therefore, I'm now channeling my Inner Control Freak for good, not evil. I don't even care if that means I have a "food problem." My only goal is not to be fat again.

(Apologies for all those air quotes!)

I definitely advocate for doing whatever makes the individual successful.

I am not a proponent of a one-size-fits-all approach. My first consultation with a surgeon I was told that I could never eat "white stuff" again. I walked out of that surgeon's office and found another surgeon. There was no preop diet; my sister and I had a food funeral up until the day before surgery. And our plan allowed for mushie foods by day 4 I think! And I'm sure everyone would be horrified to learn that we actually pureed lasagna on day 6 or 7--but in our defense we lost my granddad 4 days after surgery very unexpectedly. He was a very prominent figure in my life and I cannot even begin to describe how difficult that was, only compounded by the fact that I couldn't turn to food meanwhile everyone was bringing in food dish after food dish.

I think the only thing we can depend on is that times change, and anyone will have a day to muck up. The question is how you handle that. I can appreciate that for some of us there are certain foods we're best to stay away from 98% of the time. Even though I advocate an all-food-welcome approach in my diet, there are some things that are very bad ideas. Like Reeses. Cannot. Eat. Just. One. So when I really want one, I make a special trip and I go buy one. 210 calories, enjoy it and done with it!

So I guess I'm not normal because normal eaters probably don't sit around pondering what a normal choice would be haha. And I definitely obsess about food--although I've tried to channel that to be a positive to cook healthier meals. (I see we're both using our Type A for good!) But I do think there's something to be gleaned from normie observations, at least for me.

Greetings Thoughtful maintainers

Down a pound to 137.5. Salty popcorn indeed. Plus a clean dinner of chicken breast and veggies. Hoping to make a little progress. I did a costco run yesterday and got shrimp and healthy stuff - all with eyes dilated from the eye doctor. That made backing into the garage very interesting. Of course, today is the cloudy day but no complaints.

Liz I am so grateful that your condo is in good shape. Even so, It will take a very long time for the area to recover. I don't envy you in the insurance industry. Reorganizations galore and now a deluge of claims.

Ann I so love your relaxed attitude about life and retirement. I would like to do yoga but classes are so doggone early in the morning. Who's idea was that? Hey, sometime give an example of what your seven veggies a day are.

Yeah Devon, sometimes the weekends are worse than the work week. You are in the middle of the storm surge. Placement of 12 puppies will be a big help but that does nothing for curriculum circus. Why do administrators think they know better than the teachers down in the trenches doing the actual educating?

Paula be glad work is a little slow. Take advantage of some down time.

Hey BB, I didn't hear that OU beat Ohio State! Thats huge. And I think you have some good thoughts about weight and eating. Its all a process and I can't imagine how much pregnancy complicates it. But I think you are on the right track by being more intuitive and not thinking of being on a diet. Its a four letter word.

Shel, good on you for signing up for the ugly T shirt challenge. It helps to make a commitment to something for awhile. Wish I could get myself to do that. My gym has a complex schedule system and its hard to get it all straight. Its based on which part of the place its in and not on the nature of the activity. Dumb. I basically hate scheduling and leading a highly structured life.

Dave, I hope you don't have to go to Florida to do repairs.

Dogs are back to bed and I am tempted to do the same but must get busy. DH is at friends house helping them fix their wi fi. They are computer dinosaurs and DH is always over there fixing stuff. He was updating his own laptop and packing tools and gadgets - you'd think he was preparing for Mission Impossible.

Oh well, off to pick up payroll, get gallery financials ready for meeting tomorrow and work on some clay. I am making a bigfoot texting on a phone.

Hey Duffman. Whats going on with you?

More coffee is ready. Diane S