Monday 9/11

212.3 chin to chest. There has been so much stress. That?s my reason and excuse, but it doesn?t put the toothpaste back in the tube ... It makes everything so much worse. I am blowing it and continue to blow it.

Worrying about family and friends in hurricane's path. I know the fear and destruction, after living through Sandy. Memories of 9/11, very important but still raw. Continuing family troubles, SIL had another heart attack while daughter was in the hospital. Daughter released, SIL admitted.

So it turns out I cannot have skinny cow ice cream sandwiches in my house because I can eat half a dozen of them and have. They were on sale at Costco so I bought a big box. Pfffft! I also bought apples and salad, but I did not choose them. It is my own fault and it?s killing me.

Today, I am sticking to my plan so far, but ... I can hear the fatty cows taunting me in my head, that it's too late, I'm on the slope and slipping fast. I realize I still have the power and I am trying to grab hold of that power, but I am failing. Miserably.

I have been reading the VSG board for motivation and inspiration. There is someone posting about cheating on their one-week liquid pre-surgery diet. I was horrified! I had to do two-weeks liquid beforehand and did not cheat at all. I asked the surgeon how much my liver shrank as soon as I opened my eyes. I have a large, misshapen liver, but it was beautifully shrunken.

Anyway, the me from back then would be horrified at my eating habits lately. I have to channel that version of myself for a while till I get back on track.

I think I will schedule an appointment with my surgeon for a checkup in mid to late December to light a fire under my butt.

144.4. About the same.

Got in a good 60 minutes bike ride yesterday and about a 25 minute walk at lunch today! At least I moved my body some!