Wednesday August 9

Weight 114.75, calories 932.

I am in the office today until 3, then have to drive home arriving at 4:30 to pick up DH for a ****tail party/Alzheimer's support meeting an hour further down Cape Cod. We won't be home until about 9. Good thing tomorrow is a short day because I was up at 4 this morning!

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Good morning.

thank you for your commiserating thoughts about the smoke issue. It seems that half the province is on fire. Homes, farms and business lost have changed lives. A friend who has one lung ( due to previous cancer surgery ) is really struggling. She is considering going up to the Northwest Territories or the Yukon so that she gets relief. Not the summer that people were hoping for.

and oh yes, the family secrets. Right now, the stories that affect our previous two generations, parents and grandparents, are raw and painful. And not to diminish the emotions that scar their reputations, in time, for our grandchildren and great grandchildren, these stories become just that, stories. One of our family stories is a g g g g grandfather was a sheep stealer in Scotland and narrowly escaped the gallows. The story tellers tell this with an undisguised sense of awe and perverse pride. And supposedly another gggggg belonged to a pirate crew. Now a days that is almost considered to be romantic but at the time shame must have covered the family. A very close friend has just been told by her 97 year old mother that her father had had an affair and that she has a step-brother somewhere. My friend is reeling. She had had a thorny relationship with her father and 10 years after his death this has brought up all kinds of emotions. And I have just found out that one of the fellows who is seasonally homeless, an alcoholic, and with whom we chat with nearly everyday, had murdered someone 50 years ago. Wow! Now he is a broken man in his late 70 's who has a love hate relationship with his family. Life!! Very messy.

Gosh, that was a tirade!

Food was great and walked for a total of two hours so that was good.

May your sky and air be particle free.

Carbon-really sorry to hear about the smoke and your friend.

I feel a little better letting that news sink in. But it's still deeply disappointing. I wish people would think about consequences of their actions. Maybe if people asked themselves "what will my granddaughter think" they would stop and act more appropriately.

I also feel better because my weight was down to 161.2 today and I'm feeling thin today! Could be that I'm wearing some forgiving pants. I was also not having much of an appetite yesterday, after my hog-wild day of eating before that. Wouldn't it be nice if we could trust our bodies? I so want to. I want to believe if I'm hungry or I want oreos, that's okay for now. But I can never again blindly trust my body. I try to some extent. But not full faith. I have definitely not been eating my usual protein-dense meals. And I have no doubt that's why I've been hungry. But most of it sounds bad. Pasta and rice have been my go-to.

Good morning,

Are we telling family secrets? Good fun! Horses may have been stolen as my grandfather made his way from Germany to the US between the world wars. My dad (Grandpa's son in law) told me this. My mom was supremely uncomfortable with the telling....embarrassed, I suppose. She preferred the traveling minstrel/lederhosen part of the story. I wished I could have heard Gpa himself tell the story.

Air quality is poor. It smells like smoke. We can't see any mountains, not even the ones that are always present. I found a map of the smoke coverage and there is no escaping it. If I go for a hike it will be on the flat. I don't have a history of asthma but don't want to tempt fate. Carbon, prayers to all of you up there. It must be a zillion times worse. As you say, lives changed.

I'm signing up for OrangeTheory Fitness for a while. I need some intensity right now, indoors, away from smoke. Having a fitness plan helps me stick with my food plan.

I'm all about being "able" rather than weight. However, there is a tipping point where weight hinders my activity so it is part of the equation. Speaking of food, calories were good yesterday. Today's plan is loaded into MFP. I don't FEEL like this is a diet as much as a returning to preferred form. I want to feel good in my clothes, too. Vanity? Yes, vanity. Better than ostrich.

BB, glad you feel a bit better overnight. Pedestals are rickety things.

Breathe deep, Shel

I decided to skip the hike (travel time plus smoke = unappealing) so that gives me more time to sit on my azz and read the NYT

And, from the the NYT is an article on exercise/appetite, this time focusing on whether intensity/duration makes a difference. In young, fit men, it seems to make a difference. Of course, study design was quite limited but still in interesting read.

I find that I am not very hungry in the hours after a long, strenuous hike. But, appetite roars several hours later and maybe even thru the next day. This study wouldn't have caught that timeframe but that's ok. I'm not a young, fit man, either.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/09/well/eat/exercise-as-a-we ight-loss-strategy.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection% 2Fhealth&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=rank&m odule=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=1&pgtype=s ectionfront

My weight is back down a pound +

My eating was borderline binge like yesterday. Not quite, but just on this side of binge. I wanted NOTHING BUT CRAP. I was not impressed by my eating and had to sit and take stock. I realized that I am feeling stressed. The pups add a lot of work, but I love them to the moon and back, so I don't mind, but they do take my focus away from other things which need attention, like paying bills! Auntie Kathryn's Frenchie being here and monitoring her has been stressful, too. It's no fun dealing with someone else's dog's medical issues. I have to remember I'm doing it for the dog, when the human negativity starts getting to me. I'm guessing by how things are progressing that Krissy will need to have surgery of Friday (it's already scheduled just in case). I had so hoped she would pass this dead fetus on her own. Booooooo! The other thing is the ongoing summer togetherness with Ron. He and I simply have different priorities when it comes to daily living. Not easy on me and I have trouble letting go.

Today is a lovely day. Blue sky. Cool morning. Nice breeze. Promises to be a wonderful day. I plan to make it that way!

I didn't know that one of the dogs had a dead fetus - that's depressing and scary that she needs medical intervention.

I sort of sighed/smiled at your comment about Ron and you having different priorities. I think that is the challenge of every relationship: Though you may be aligned on some important stuff, there will alsways be areas where priorities are different and we have to learn to accept that. I have noticed with DH here fulltime that this fact is more in my face than it used to be (after 38 years of living together). Not everything can be excused by his dementia. Dust and clutter just don't bother the guy like they do me. But some of the things that he feels need to be done I could care less about.

Greetings Special Family

Still at 137. Pounds are not going to go away unless I make them.

So sorry Carbon for the fire issues and the enormous impact it must have on your village. I fear it won't be controlled until the fall rains start. Does the fire dept recommend you stay indoors? Must be hard because you like to walk so much. Ditto Shel. There are always treadmills but so unsatisfying.

Ah yes, family secrets. Ours have some too. I think my grandfather had a mental breakdown once. And he had a sister that was sent to Europe to some mental sanitarium when thats what was done for mental illness. At least our society has progressed somewhat in how these issues are handled.

Well DH needs cataract surgery and has the beginnings of macular degeneration. The same day I learned there will be some more assets coming to me and my brothers from my mother's estate than expected. So methinks I should take DH to see the world more once he has his cataract surgery which will be in October. We need to do France as we both speak some French and he has never been there.

Liz what a busy day you have planned. Hope the support group is helpful.

Devon you must be up to your ears in puppies about now. I remember when we had our litter of four. Three of them would be out wrestling in the yard but the fourth sluggy guy was the first to learn "the fine art of kitchen loitering" and would hang out looking for hand outs. Fun to see their personalities. Yep, being home with partner all day can have its own issues.

Well I need more coffee and then time to pick up the house before the house sitter comes for a run through. We don't want her to think we are complete slobs! (like there is any chance of concealing it). diane s