Thursday June 15

I just had to run into the conference room to help my boss with something with the client who brought us lunch, and my stomach growled so loud! I laughed and said that I ate too much for lunch, because it was so good. I did not really eat too much. It is much different and carby (pierogies)than what I normally eat.

I feel like I've been very unmotivated in the weightloss arena. Maybe the busy schedule and vacations, as well as passage of another surgiversary. But I have liked making progress and the work isn't done yet.

My thirtieth birthday is 12 weeks away. This morning I weighed 152. I would really like to be 138.5 by then because it's "half of myself." My other goal was to be in the "best shape of my twenties"--although I'm going to have to think on how to define that. And, truth be told, I think I've already far surpassed that goal. Not hard to do! I definitely want to look more muscular and lean. But body fat percentage is a hard thing to nail down. Maybe sticking to a # of days worked out within 12 weeks? For example, perhaps 50 days (that works out to just over 4x/week). I'd love to be 25% or under body fat but that may not happen. Inches--same deal. I'm not so into running, but a 5k would be awesome. Or maybe just sticking to and finishing an exercise regimen.

Having multiple goals last time was helpful. Made it seem like several things worth working towards.

There are 6 weeks until our annual pool party. This is when most people will notice the biggest difference. 145 is more like it and right on schedule. Plus I can easily say I've lost 20lbs. this year if I do that (truth be told it would be somewhere in the 22 range, but kinda depends on which scale and which day).

DH and I are going to Vegas for a short holiday in 9 weeks. We are hitting the pools. This is yet another opportunity to be proud in a bathing suit. I'm aiming for 12lbs. by then--to be 140--omg! 25lbs. lost

And then, of course, the big one. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 138.5 and a more muscular tone!

Like I say I'm going to have to drill deeper to think about microgoals I have. Workout frequency and intensity is for sure on there. As well as upping my water intake. Limiting snacks. Eating fewer processed foods/fast foods/eating out in general.

I think it's doable. The trouble with "doable" goals in the past is that sometimes they don't light that fire enough. The kind of "well of course I can do it" attitude leads to lethargy which means I do nothing. So I must remember it'll take work. And to get out ahead of my goal. I will officially start thinking this way beginning on Saturday. But of course it'd be nuts to lose ground in the meantime.

I see how the hard work pays off for you, and it helps me to know that it is possible if I just stick to the plan and do the work like you do. I am rooting for you! and hoping to join you. I've got 52 lbs. on you. Let's see if we can both lose 7 lbs in 6 weeks (197 for me), 12 lbs in 9 weeks (192) (190.5) and 13.5 in 12 weeks. This could push me into the 180's by my birthday in September!

The snark on my shoulder just taunted me saying that I will also be to work on time every day!

I love this!

I think these numbers are very manageable, yet challenging enough to inspire hard work. I know you've been incredibly stressed, but maybe you can look at it as a gift to yourself. That an empty cup cannot pour and that you're going to set aside an hour a week, or 20 minutes a day or whatever to meal prep/plan. And maybe a very short exercise routine--whether that is walking around your neighborhood each night and admiring the plants and breathing in the summer night air and catching glimpses of lightening bugs (this visual is so much more appealing to me than the notion of working out after a long day), or starting a short yoga practice on youtube with the primary focus of creating calm for you.

I'm in! Let's do this!

weight up 2.8 lbs over yesterday, odd. Maybe finally paying for excessive grazing when I had extra days off.

I am also paying for excessive grazing in REALLY missing grazing. Habits have improved since back to work starting on Tue but really REALLY miss just eating when I want. I keep asking myself "will this compulsion go away if I eat something?" and I know the answer is a resounding NO. It is easy to resist here at work because I have no extra food. At home, I'm trying to do an evening yoga or walk to literally keep the fridge out of my site. Also, not stay up too late.

Feeling overwhelmed with the cir****tances of patient's lives today. Some situations so very sad and I feel hopeless for them. My usual optimism has run dry. I know this won't last, I'm usually pretty good at "staying out of the pool" (our euphemism for not taking on other's problems like they are our own.)

Gotta run

Hug your skinny like you mean it.

Shel

I'm so sorry Shel.

While I don't have the same patient experience, I know what you mean about internalizing other peoples's problems. I'm glad I'm not a family law attorney, or a minister, or doctor because I don't think I could handle it.

As it is, I internalize too much. I go swimming, as you'd say! Some of my friends I have had to distance myself from because they create drama and turmoil and it's just too much for me. I need to learn to let them deal with their own stuff. People are always going through things and there just isn't much we can do. I wonder why I allow it to get to me so much?

Hi all

Yes, hearing other peoples problems all day (which I did as a lawyer even though I did business and estate work) was sometimes overwhelming. I think thats part of the reason I overate. Maintaining a proper professional perspective is so important.

Oh, and DH just brought home some pizza. I am going to eat it. Prepare to hear *****ing from me tomorrow. Diane S