Thursday May 25

Totally a typo and not pre reading before I posted. Wish I had thought of it.

I would so vote for an nighty-night anti-snacking drug!

Down another pound. Whoo hoo! Makes it 11 down since Vyvanse has quelled the binge eating. If I manage to lose another 0.3 this week I will reach that new "decade". Not going to sweat it. Just going to keep doing what I'm doing and let what happens happen. I think that is the best thing for me right now.

I feel as if I'm getting a much needed break from my constant obsession with food, eating, weight, body image, etc... I'm filled with gratitude for the inner tranquility I have been given. There is something to be said for being one's own medical advocate. From my experience most men are not self motivated advocates for their own health. I was once a person who avoided doctors, tests, and the truth like the plague. I turned 40 in 2004 and that's when I knew I had to make changes or die an early death. I gradually gained confidence in my health and my ability to research, find and get the treatment I believed I needed. This latest bit of advocacy for my mental health was a huge step. I realize now I am totally okay having an eating disorder and that I have been chronically depressed for 30 years give or take. Accepting, not just logically, but on a deep emotional level, that these two major major mental health issues are not failings of character, but rather medical conditions like my bone disease has lightened me in some strengthening ways. I have always kept hope, but now it's not a matter of hope but a sense of knowing I will accomplish what I need to for my weight, my self image and my emotional well being.

Enough of the personal epiphanies for this morning!

Blue is under the knife as I type. Well, she may actu.... cell rang... she's out of surgery and recovering. Everything went well. The frozen semen was high quality. Blue's uterus looks healthy and ready for babies. Now all I can do is pray. If this litter conceives, I will be over joyed. The sire is the top winning Airedale in the history of the breed. He is my Jackson's half brother, so it's a tight line breeding, but there is enough genetic diversity on my Jackson's side to keep everything in balance. Ella was bred the old fashioned way twice and twice by AI with fresh semen to her Beau, Phil, the current #1 Airedale in the country for 2 years. We're moving on up, Weezy! I will be thrilled if either has pups. If they both do, I will suffer through an embarrassment of riches! LOL!

Ever onward.

Greetings Valiant Ones

135 today so thats down a half. Got a phone reminder of a doctor apt tomorrow that I had forgotten about. Its annual physical so I was prepared to rush down for lab work today but they have no orders. Go figure.

Carbon, whats with all this toilet **** Can't believe you still have rain and floods. Mercifully we seem to be done with that. Still dealing with effects of landslides and such but all is good here in la la land.

Liz so sorry you are having funeral woes. Its all bad enough. Loved Devon's very poignant and caring remarks. He is so right. And after a week you can avoid BIL. I am anticipating similar issues when my mom passes. Not from my brothers but from crazy friend and possibly SIL. Dave is right - people show their true colors.

Well Devon, hope all the breeding goes well. This time I bet you get loads of puppies and have an Airedale circus!

Well I will try to post the yellow submarine but might have to send it to Shel or Devon.

Had seared ahi last night that was frozen and in a box. It was pretty good.

Well off to face the sunshine. Peace to all. Diane S

Gosh Joey so wish you could have some better luck. Glad DD has a new doctor. Those boys are so lucky to have you and must be a source of great joy to you. Praying for better times. Diane S

Out of town and no scale for five days, but staying the course. Loved everyone's heartfelt comments and insights today ! Sideline...If I could have the colonoscopy meds at will...I could give up wine !

Diane's Yellow Submarine!

Thanks Devon for posting the sub. I once knew how to do this but oh well.

There is a nightly night no hunger med. Its called red wind. Obviously there are issues.... Diane S

Took some looking around for me, too. They moved the link to upload photos. Click on the red square with the plus sign and the link for upload a photo will appear. Ta Da!!! Once it's uploaded just start a post and click on add photo over on the left hand side next to the Bold symbol.