Wednesday May 17

I have found that there is no "clean bill of health" date after surgery. So while I still don't think I have a "problem" in the sense that I do not think my food choices are necessarily "bad", or weight gain "deserved" (and I know you and I have agreed to disagree on this point), I CAN agree with you that my calculus hasn't changed, and if I go back to eating how I used to--good or bad--I am capable of regain.

I hate this truth with every fiber of my being, but the longer out I get, the better able I am to accept it and move on. So, I only say that to tell you that this is just a season in maintenance, a chapter in the book, if you will. Looks like you're still maintaining pretty low. I guess we all have different numbers we will tolerate. I think the important thing is to never give up. That sounds so cliche, but I think it's true. Kairk is back to losing.

It's exhausting to think how many times I may do this. But at least we can and have done it. Some days will be easier. Be kind to yourself on days that aren't. It's just like everything else in life.

Thanks for reaching out Bonnie. I appreciate it.

I'm still within my weight range although chronic excess calories from wine and food have caused an increase of about 3 pounds over the past (almost) year.

Yes that matters but my current concern is about the need to come to terms with giving up alcohol. While alcohol and food addiction/abuse are clearly related for me, at this point in my life the call of the wine is the piece that is surprising. For me, I see this as further confirmation that my addictive tendencies can easily adapt to a new pathway. Hope that make sense.

138.2. Booo!

Will try to start tracking again. Need that accountability.

Working today. Not sure what our plans tonight are.

Looks like DS#1 will graduate. Praise the Lord!

Paula

Woohoo on graduation!!

Sneaking a few minutes during recess to read and post.

Down 2.0 pounds from yesterday. Sort of exciting as I started tracking and I'm down an extra pound. Whoopee!

Lots going on in my mind about getting classroom in check and ready for open house next Tuesday. Had I thought this through completely, I may have not gone ahead and made such a major change at the end of the year, but the kids and I are loving the transition and changes. We added a standing table and a Japanese style sit on the floor with cushions table that will seat up to six students comfortably!

My food compulsions remain at bay except in the evenings. I should try to pick up the new meds today on the way home and get them started, but I remain hesitant to add a stronger med to the mix just now. I think I may wait until after Open House. If the Vyvanse increase makes me jittery and scattered that would be counter productive right now.

I'm glad most of us are finding the light that spring provides affecting our spirits.

Linda, so glad that you came to visit and update us. Isolation is not always the best, but sometimes necessary. I understand. You are strong and will prevail. Of that, I have no doubt. I wish you strength and the peace of mind you need to navigate your current stressors. Love you!

Read about the exercise balls in the classroom. Very cool! I'd be interested in the sit/stand desk. Not sure how that would work in practice. But I definitely have the rolled shoulders and poor posture from sitting all day. I guess you're "lucky" to stand. If I even stand for shopping for more than a couple hours, I have back pain. Not good! And standing in one position=the worst.

some classrooms in my area have little bicycle like legs underneath the desks. While I'm not necessarily the hugest fan of phys ed, mostly because the way it was taught to me was pow-now you need to do a mile run with no training and be taunted by classmates, I am a big believer that physical activity is important to kids both in establishing and devloping a lifestyle of activity, and also in burning off that energy they have--and helping aid in ability to learn and maintain attention span. But...I have no training on the matter ;) Just very uninformed opinions!!

Cannot exactly recall weight today. 154.8 maybe. Still trending upwards, but I think post potty was much lower.

Sure enough the events are gonna get to me prior to vacay. Definitely thinking its best to try and survive the storm, then new battle plan for June-end of summer. Muscles quite sore today from Monday's workout despite taking yesterday off.

Unsure of calories yesterday. Did fairly well at lunch w/ friend--sister and I split greek chicken kebab, no rice, "double" vegetables, which was in total probably less than 4 ounces chicken breast, two small squares bell pepper, one slice onion, and half charbroiled tomato. Came with tabbouli, of which I had two small bites. We did get baba ghanouj and pita, which was my favorite, and undeniably the most caloric part of the meal.

Dinner at my event was very good, surprisingly. We were at a driving range, socializing, and I think all that going on allowed me to eat more than I usually would. Concerned by that. But onward and upward.

208.4. Too. much. stress. On top of the ridiculous amount of medical issue stresses with my daughter, son-in-law and son -- there is a new law in my State that stops all child support for anyone over the age of 23. If there is a disability or special need, an Order has to be transferred to another court and child support redefined as financial and other support. My son is pushing 26 so he was one of the casualties. I prepared a consent order and tried to get my ex to understand, but we are going back to court next week. (My lawyer needed a $3,500 retainer, not possible, so I prepared a simple motion myself, the facts are pretty clear). I just received a huge certification prepared by his current wife in response. I could not get past the first page of lies, so I emailed a copy of it to my boss and asked for help even though I hate airing dirty laundry. He knows me well enough to see through the lies.

Luckily, this whole thing makes me physically ill, so food is not a comfort option. The stress hives are the worst.

Joey so sorry for your added stress. Legal stuff can be so unpleasant as you well know. Wishing you the best. Diane S

So sorry Joey. It seems like everything i****ting at once. Best of luck with this.