Monday May 15

Weight same as yesterday. Eats were pretty good, though a few more carbs than normal. I had a biscuit at breakfast. A tasty rarity. Most of my "bad" carb usually involve sugar.

Decided that if I want to drop a few more I had better get going and start tracking again. I am committing to tracking this week. Made sure to measure all my take along food today for easy tracking.

Have yet to up my V dose. I will hopefully be able to pick the meds up tomorrow. Today's schedule won't allow it. Even if it's later this week, that's fine. I have enough of the current dose to last me until a week from Wednesday. It works great all day. It's only after about 5 pm that the food thoughts and compulsive drive to eat are creeping back in to consciousness. Even so, my restriction is still very noticeable late into the evening.

The boys at home are quite attentive to Ella, so the separation has begun. Always a real joy - NOT! LOL!

Positivity to all!

154 today. A little up. I feel a little lost so far as motivation right now. And my body positivity initiative is not going as well as I'd hoped. I guess that is something that doesn't change overnight, either. It's hard to know the right ways to accomplish all these goals. Sometimes they're conflicting, or at least do not go along with one another.

I also worked out on Saturday for the first time in over a week. And I only had worked out twice the week before while on vacation. Excuses, but I had suffered some serious jet-lag and catching up on work, and hubby out on business so no one to make me. Plus my weight was down and my appetite had been pretty low so I just didn't feel the need. So when I went to the gym on Sunday, that really kicked my butt. I can't believe I felt so much weaker after just 10 days. Wow. So I know the best thing for me to do tonight is to get back to the gym, but it's so hard at first/getting back when you see losses instead of gains--and I don't mean the good kind of losses. Now my weight is up, although it's possible from some muscle work. And appetite up. So I'm going to just try to do my best today. I've already eaten 924 calories today...and it isn't even 4pm. I will try to go workout and then keep my dinner fairly healthy. Shooting for under 1400 on the day.