Thursday May 11

If it's any consolation, two years ago after visiting my aunt I was quite anxious over what to do about her driving. The day I decided to call her local police station and tell them my concerns she got in a fender bender in a parking lot and it threw her into a dementia panic. The police were called and her license was taken and simply not returned. The police drove her home and the car was impounded. That was the last day she drove. Luckily she had not hurt anyone, but I could see it that eventually she would cause a serious accident. By doing this test with your DH, you will be avoiding potential injury to him or someone else and save him the embarrassment of having his license taken forcibly by law enforcement.

Be strong.

117. Still no solid action taken to get south of 115 again. Fortunately my clothes still fit but probably can't push much further without a consequence there. And you know how important my wardrobe is to me! Sorry but that's real for a pea**** like myself.

For those of you connected to me on FB, check out the link I posted re: correlation between addiction and ACE scores. I completely relate to reframing addiction as ritualized compulsive comfort seeking. I've always felt that part of me does not do well.

Off to work with a busy shift ahead. I'm doing a 'date night' with a couple who is celebrating her 50th birthday and it's also 'girls night out' in the shopping district. The weather is beautiful and I'm looking forward to wearing a new dress so I'll be in good spirits for the work ahead. Yes, I use shopping as an inappropriate form of comfort.

All the best. Happy birthday Paula.

Just want to give you a hug. Nice to "see" you!

Down .6 so the weekend weight is gone. Yay! My next goal is to lose 3.3 pounds (yes, very specific-lol). That will bring me into a more acceptable "decade" - always a good thing.

In his email to me my psychiatrist asked if we should keep the dose the same. I had been thinking about that for several days before he asked. After much consideration, listening to other people with BED who take Vyvanse, and researching Vyvanse use on line, reading the results of two studies monitoring patients with BED on Vyvanse or placebo, I emailed the doc last night and asked him to consider allowing me to try a stronger dose for a month.

Food life is good. During the day eating has become once again a necessity for energy and health. It's lost its "eventness" quality. Night times are not as easy as the first week, but still a far cry from pre Vyvanse. I noticed last night the feeling on my tongue was present after eating dinner. I had to reckon with that and did okay.

Putting out some fires at work. I forget how change can truly frighten people. Teachers can be creatures of habit and routine. I don't really understand why, but examining one's own pedagogy is extremely threatening for some teachers. I'm so ready to return to best practices and am sooooo excited to be allowed to design my classroom for the flexibility my students need. I remember all too well the torture of my elementary school classroom life - sitting and sitting and sitting... I lived for the times we did art and music and PE and could actually move more than our hands! In third grade I had a younger teacher (my parents' age) who had embraced cooperative learning. What a gift that year was! Then back to rows, rows, rows! Blech! I have only once had my students in rows (except for mandated state testing seating) and it just about killed me.

I really enjoyed BB's thoughts on body imaging and self acceptance. It is always a good thing to see oneself reflected in another's words.

Update: Just heard back from doc. He's upped the dosage. We'll see how it goes.

Greetings Marvelous Maintainers

Grrrrrrr, 135.5 today. Had an Atkins bar yesterday and a little cheese. Doesn't take much to do me in. Actually had some extra steps yesterday so go figure. But today will be active. Doing a raku firing for a friend. Will be running back and forth checking the kiln a zillion times. Its been raining but we have a covered area to work in. Mother nature is not getting a card from me this year.

Liz, wouldn't work be just fine if not for annoying people. Every work place has them and some in large quantities. Hope the driving test goes as it should.

Paula glad you are getting a weekend off. DH is right. He can lay on the couch . Have fun with your friends and family.

Shel that picture is beautiful. Glad there were no snakes. Carbon your walking dedication so impresses me. I need a dose of that.

Have fun on your night out Linda. Enjoy the new dress. Clothes addiction is probably a good one to have. We were talking about dresses at the studio as one artist said she might wear a dress for her opening. I realized I don't think I own a single dress except my wedding dress in a box and a really ugly bridesmaid dress I kept for sentimental reasons. Gave then away when I lost weight and never got any more. Everyone here in Humboldt county needs at least one earth mother hippie dress. I don't hate dresses but absolutely cannot stand panty hose.

Glad you got the new dose Kairk. Will be interested to hear about it. Yep I loved BB's comments yesterday and will try to keep them in my head. Do something enough times and it becomes habit. Also like the thought of stones and roots are needed to develop balance.

Well enough of this. Gotta go gather raku supplies. Diane S

Shel, Balance is a hard thing for me to capture. Plenty of roots and stones. Slow posting lately for me.
Wt 216

Mending fences getting a pasture ready to put some cows in. 1/4 of it done and rain today and it is dr day for mom and DW. Maybe Friday will be back on the fences.

Kids, you can't live their life for them. DD#1 boyfriend got weird, controlling , paranoid and she sent him back to OK. Quickly started dating 2 other guys. Now pregnant. She says she is pretty sure of the father. I don't know how she could be. I want to help support her but fine line in help vs enabling thing. There is that seeking balance theme Bottom line: not my behavior. She will have to find her path. I can want better for her but she has to want it too.

My eating has not been too different. Pretty much n&y except when we travel. It is now over 2 years of pretty much n&y. Weird. It is an obsession / addiction and comfort seeking.

Kairk, hope the bump up helps you as much as it helps me. Oddly I get some added pain control out of it. Maybe making my pain meds do better.

Liz, hope work is not as bad as it sounds. People can really put a kink in productivity sometimes.

Paula, hoping you have a great visit with friends and family.

More later, David

"Kids, you can't live their life for them" Amen to that David!

Weight: 134.6 (that's 1 pound below goal weight!)

Macros: Cals - 1,546, Carbs - 180, Fat - 45, Protein - 92, Sugar - 102, Fiber - 21

Veggies/fruits: 5 (goal is 7)

Sleep: 10 (hey, look at that!)

Exercise: Aquarobics

* * *

Very late to the game today ... internet up/down and now (maybe) back up permanently. I'll believe that when I see it!

Geez, kids! It's not like we have nothing going on in our lives, eh?! Massive hugs and good wishes going out to all of y'all dealing with challenges in your families, at work, with weather, and your own medical and physical issues.

Last night, hubby and I had a date night and went out to dinner. Today's been a good day, too -- great yoga class this morning, a nice little walk this afternoon, the weather has been nice ****il a few hours ago), the internet came back (again), and the new consulting gig is going well. And our crosswords went well. All in all, a very good day. :)

Food, exercise and sleep are going very well. Feeling quite stable. And ... well balanced! :)

Shel, I also loved your metaphor of roots and rocks helping us to build balance. So true. Thanks for that.

In fact, thanks to you all for showing up, being real, and caring for yourselves. You're my role models. :)

Ann