Friday. 7th April

Good early morning everyone.

BB you are really doing well. Kairk, hanging on in there. So very sorry about DH.

soooooo yesterday was driving up one our hills and heard an almighty POP from the rear of the car. Checked underneath and saw nothing. At home others checked, seemingly all was well.

Later, going to a meeting down the hill noticed that the steering was odd and thought, hmmmm, this does not feel right. Parked and walked to the meeting.

after the meeting,

car steering still fairly erratic but by now it was sounding like something was grating. Barely made it to the garage where they think that the something went awry with the power steering.

I was shaking by the time I got to work. Not sure why and before I even realized just what was doing had devoured 10 cookies. Didn't even taste them. Eventually snapped out of it and stopped and then felt sick for the rest of the day. Sigh.

Got home, supper was thankfully ready, ate a bit and crashed. Thus why am writing this now.

terrible over reaction for sure. Plus the $ shock of the repair !!!!

And that was my day. Hope yours was better.

I'm glad that nothing happened when you were driving the car. That is scary! Funny how our automatic reactions kick in when we are shaken up. At least we have our VSG "tool" to remind us to stop (that yucky sick feeling). I hope your day gets better!

115.5, 926 calories. Some time ago (don't remember when), I adjusted my preferred weight range in my head to 115-117, so I have been cutting back when I creep over 117. Seems to be working...

So glad it is the last day of the week. We went to the attorney to sign our POAs yesterday which was good (DH to me and me to SIL). DH was okay with it. We also did a homestead on our house. Took DH to the PCP to discuss a new antidepressant and some prostate issues. More meds, but he didn't take them last night (I set them up myself for the first time in his containers, so I knew exactly what should have been taken). I guess another job is shifting to me (I did know I'd need to do this eventually). DH hasn't tried to drive at all this week. Maybe he has accepted that he shouldn't?

Many work meetings today about the reorganization. It will be good to be at the weekend. Then appointments every day next week for DH or me (plus my work of course). At least we will be caught up post-Florida after that and hopefully I can shift to a new work schedule the following week. My next task is to talk to the dementia support people and investigate what is at the Senior Center to see what activities I can get DH involved in. He definitely was doing better in Florida with regular activities and interaction with others. Oh yeah, and we have to transfer MIL's bills to BIL. It really needs to be done asap.

Have a wonderful Friday!

Weight 154.8 today. Calories yesterday: over :( Exercise, none

Trying to think how I feel about the calories yesterday. I enjoy food, I enjoy social outings. Never having carbs, or never going out is not desirable and not possible. I'm trying to steer clear of labeling foods as "bad." The scale did not punish me this morning, but perhaps it will on Saturday. I should have stuck to my plan of not eating lunch out yesterday as I knew dinner would be my indulgence. But I did, and it was a pizza place. All I can say is I'm thankful for my sleeve. I had 1/3 of a small pizza split with my sister. The calories weren't actually all that bad, but protein would've been better. I feel pretty decent about dinner. My husband and I split a filet (good lean, healthy protein). We didn't get soup or salad. I only had one bite of the "lobster cargot" appetizer (and it is ahhhhmazing), no bread, and I primarily focused on the broccoli and brussels sprouts sides and only had two bites of the mashed potatoes. It was still an indulgence, but something I can do on these occasions. The only thing I think I would change about dinner is 1 glass of wine instead of 2. There was simply no need for it. I got all the utility out of the first glass.

Today is another tricky scenario. I'm supposed to be having a business lunch (actually for my alma mater) at Cheesecake factory, and then date night tonight is at a theater balcony--the type where you overpay for the luxury of having ****tails and food in your seats. I'm going to have to think about what I'm willing to sacrifice. I've already skipped breakfast. I know, maybe not the best thing but lunch is early (and so is the movie/dinner) so I figured I'd take my appetite suppressant early today and tide myself over for a 11:30 lunch. Cheesecake factory does have some healthy options. My BIL always gets their tuna appetizer and maybe I'll do that--lean, low carb, high protein. Steer clear of bread! But dinner is the difficult one. This is a favorite date-night place for DH and me, and we ALWAYS get the cheese fries. And he probably will regardless. I really do enjoy them, and this is date night...but it comes on the heels of last night's indulgences. I don't like calling any foods bad, but there's just no way around it: cheese fries with bacon and ranch have no redeeming qualities as far as health goes. I'm thinking about trading in my ****tail for the fries. They are overly sugary anyway. Can you tell I'm talking myself in circles about this? This is really quite the dilemma because I firmly do not believe any food makes you or breaks you. But I do get uncomfortable when several of these types of things stack up. Hmmmm.

Oh, and if I can get off work early, I will go do cardio. I have a workout shirt that says "do it for the carbs" How apropos.

206. Eating was on-plan yesterday, late dinner at the diner. I ordered my usual steak and eggs. I eat the eggs and take the steak and homefries home to make into a "stew" for dinner the next night. They give HUGE portions. I eat the steak with some gravy and a lot of veggies, so I am looking forward to that eating the hell out of that tonight.

No late night eating yesterday, mostly because again...no time. Plus, my tooth was bothering me so as soon as we got home, I flossed, brushed and rinsed with mouthwash. This is a simple and excellent deterrent to late night eating. Psychologically, I put it off to continue eating.

My daughter was discharged from the hospital last night and went to the diner with us. I think she willed herself well because she wanted to go so badly. I kept the boys overnight so she could rest. The school called a little while ago because the older boy was there and wanted to talk to me. He was teary and wanted me to pick him up. The stress is getting to him. He was emotional last night, too. I talked him down, and my daughter went to get him.

Hello friends. 116. Read some of your posts from the last few days and was truly inspired by how well people are coping in countless difficult cir****tances. There's so much hope here and I'm grateful to be part of this group.

Devon - so glad the meds are working so well. Must admit to some drug envy because I've never experienced that true sense of restoration that you are feeling. As I've mentioned prior, meds help me feel ever so slightly better but I'm never sure the benefit warrants the treatment.

I'm going to do a 'closet Intervention' at a client's home this evening. It's a three hour consulting service we offer and they're always interesting.

Off to the doctor for some prescription updates.

Have a pretty day

Scale exactly the same as yesterday - however, terribly undeserved. I did not eat well. As a result I do not feel exceptionally on point today. I'm sure it is nothing more than a reaction to too much unhealthy refined food being ingested.

Spent some time and will continue today pondering my relationship with sugar. It's a complicated love-hate thing. LOL! My chemically altered state is helping me garner the strength to look at this issue without the inner hidden addict voice of panic directing my thinking. It is fascinating that a little string of Carbon, Hydrogen, and Oxygen molecules could wield such power over my thinking and food compulsions. At the same time, it is equally as fascinating that a little 20 mg dose of some manmade magic powder has been able to change my overall mood and perception of myself and the world around me. Yesterday's little foray into the world of junk food was really well timed. My actions helped me see the need to really consider how my behavior needs to be modified to lead me in the direction of successful weight management.

We had buckets and buckets of rain last night and the wind was not to be believed. Gusts over 60 mph. My backyard is a mess! The oaks and walnuts are "blooming" and the flowers and new leaves are littering the yard. Does not bode well for the squirrels come October! Keeping acorns out of the mouth's of dogs will be less of a struggle though! It's pouring down again and it's forecast to be on and off torrents all day. April showers...

Happy Friday, all!

wt 215 calories 1695

Not been on the post lately. Mom to the doctor for wheezing and shortness of breath. She has A-fib and was on blood thinners and bled into a knee joint. My concern was clot in the lung. She had a CT which showed no clots but the does appear to be some CHF and pulmonary hypertension. She does not know enough about it to be really concerned which I guess is a blessing. Pre sleep study visit for her is next.

Kiark, I am so glad that your med is working for you. When I have a new med that works the feeling I have is intense gratefulness. Grateful that the med works. Grateful for the day. The people in my life and on. My mood has been hanging in there with my last med change so I have been having a longer period of gratefulness.

Linda, don't give up on the med route. I have tried a bunch before finding the right combination. I still have to have it adjusted every so often. Accepting depression is tough.

Everyone hang in there,

Seek peace and do good, David

Greetings Strong People

Rats! 135 today. Blame it on too much cheese plus atkins bars lately plus insufficient downloading in the little programmers room.

Carbon gosh glad you are safe. So scary to have the steering go out. Interesting that eating was a fear response. No criticism, just an observation of yet another emotion that makes us eat.

Gallery duty today. So boring due to rain and wind. But I can see the ocean and the waves were spectacular. Managed to make it to the studio for a little work and socializing.

Liz, some pharmacies will make up those pill boxes for the week or month for you. At least our small town one will. Probably not free but maybe worth it for DH.

Bought a cute new dressy shirt for the dog show. I have almost nothing but sweatshirts and sweat pants anymore. There was another cool jacket I really wanted but it was TOO BIG.

Devon so glad your meds are working. I might have to confer with you about that if you don't mind. Plus lots of dog talk. Just got premiums for Placerville shows. Are you going there?

BB your meal description made me want what you were having. I think you are doing quite well with your weight control and I wish to emulate you.

Dave sorry your Mom is ill. Gotta watch all that as you well know. I am amazed my mom keeps on ticking in spite of advanced Parkinson's. Its all due to a terrific caregiver.

Keep the faith all. Lentil soup tonight with maybe a chopped up pork chop.

Diane S