Thursday April 6

Weight 115.5, calories 849. I had my surgiversary appointment yesterday and I was a one year star. They said I lost 128% of excess weight (I guess that means I went 28% lower than their goal, which I think was the top of normal BMI range)? I'll have to figure out the math... I also was able to cross check their scale with mine and they were pretty much the same, so that makes me happy.

My boss is supposed to talk to his boss to okay my proposed "compressed" work week (10 hours M-W, 3.75 hours T-F ending by 10-11 those days). He is fine with it. I told him I HAVE to make a change, so if my proposal isn't okay I need to go part time or retire, so I think they will approve it. My projects don't require that I be present every minute and I told him that if there is an important meeting on a Thursday or Friday that I need to call into I will probably be able to do that periodically. Layoff day is over, but now we have to go on. People were pretty shaken up yesterday even if they didn't receive notice.

DH is having a tough time readjusting to being home and it being rainy hasn't helped. He has been depressed during the day and not sleeping well at night (trying to get up at 2:30 am). We need to get him back on an anti-depressant. He seems to have lost some ability to figure out meals, so I've taken that over now. Sigh...I remember when he retired, we joked about how I would have a house-husband who would have dinner ready when I got home at night.

Have a good, skinny day.

No weight today. Grazed yesterday. I am glad I didn't have anything particularly damaging in the house....heaven knows I looked. I am sure calories were high. I have been struggling lately with time. Just not enough of it. Exercise is taking a hit. DD did have counseling yesterday with her new counselor so I got a walk in --- good for both of us.

Liz, my heart goes out to you regarding DH. Positive thoughts headed your way. Hopefully once DH gets settled again his ability to manage will improve. Super tough when both home and work stressful/uncertain.

Paula and Joey, positive thoughts to you and you loved ones.

Hug your skinny health today.

Shel

Good Morning everyone.

good food and very little walking. Started out but the rain hit and it was so heavy that you couldn't see through it.

Have a good Thursday all.

Calories yesterday: 1433 Exercise: 1 hr. bodypump and 30 min. cardio hip hop Weight: 154.6

I think I'm fiiiinally 98% healthy again. So I have a theory about my weight. First it dropped drastically because I wasn't eating anything. It wasn't a "real" weight because some of it was just dehydration and literally no food in my stomach. Then it rebounded big...bigger than it should have because my body freaked out and wanted to hold onto everything. I think I had to legitimately lose some amount of weight by only eating 600-800 calories for 5 days. And now it's finally getting back to normal and letting the scale reflect the true weightloss. Hurrah!

Shocked calories were as low as they were considering I awakened in the middle of the night and got a protein bar! I think it's the appetite suppressants keeping me up but they obviously are not worth it if I night eat (something I never do otherwise). Idk. I'm definitely using them as a tool. It's been very helpful to take around lunchtime and not eat again until we get done working out at about 8:30pm. I'm a bigtime snacker and this has been the most difficult hurdle so I've appreciated the help. Especially while I'm trying to get to goal and cutting hard. But I know it's not a forever thing. I think snacking can be good. But for me it's developed into an endless pit, partially because the foods I tend to snack on are much less healthy than mealtime foods. My husband NEVER snacks and because of that, he gets to enjoy better meals. The calories go a lot farther when you divide by 2 (he doesn't eat breakfast) versus me trying to divide by 4, 5, or 6!

I'm feeling good about working out again. Getting back into it was rough. But I did half@ss my weights workouts on last Weds. and Saturday, but had a really good cardio sesh last Friday. Monday, Tuesday, and Weds. this week were all good workouts. I guess I just really feared I'd lost that momentum forever. MFP says I earned an extra 654 calories from exercise--I don't buy it. But it did say I burned 198 calories in my 30 min. cardio class and that feels pretty accurate. Bodypump is harder to measure because I'm not actually sweating but I am working, and it is no rest like normal weights. I think the calculator gave me 360 or so, but in reality I'm guessing 250ish, maybe? Doesn't really matter, but I do like to track something just so I can look back.

Today is rest day and an indulgent dinner out before Cirque du Soleil so yikes. But I can enjoy and moderate. Right?

I always ignore the exercise "buy-back" (it has never reduced my weight, just made me feel better and changed my shape).

Yeah same here. And I think studies have shown that a better bet for losing weight is to cut your calorie intake because whether consciously or inadvertently people tend to eat more and reduce their other routine physical activity the more they work out.

But I guess I would say to some extent I am more willing to eat a little more if I know I had a hard workout if I truly am hungry and I think my body needs more "fuel." At the same time, the harder I worked out, the less likely I am to want to eat and negate it! But I am still trying to lose weight, hopefully just fat, on the scale. My husband has maybe the same amount of weight to lose as me, but really wants to add bulk and so he does add at least one protein shake per day after his workout. He's frustrated to see so many of his calories be eaten up, but I remind him it's going to rebuild and repair muscles and he is still in a deficit at the end of the day.

137.2 - down just a smidge. Eating was good but no exercise yesterday.

Haircut on tap for today. Some exercise too!

As Dave says, more later!

205. Eating is on-plan and night eating has diminished, mostly because there is no time, but whatever, it is better!

I was called up for a meeting with my supervisors about my schedule. Even though my immediate boss seems happy with my situation, efforts and work, I was afraid. They were very accommodating and offered to change my work hours so I will not get docked as much. This would be good, and am thinking about making the best of this. I may even try to schedule it so I could work one day 9:00-2:00 so my son would have at least one day a week of my time that he could depend on.

He walked the one and a half miles from my house to the hospital today to visit with his sister who was feeling lonely. I am so proud of him. It is an ugly day and he is not a fan of walking, so this was a big accomplishment for him. He sounded proud of himself when he called.

I am getting my hair cut this weekend for the first time in almost a year. My friend is going to color it and do whatever she wants. She doesn't charge me and I give her free reign. I win. I cannot wait!!!

116. A quick check in to let you know I'm alright, just busy. I have a couple of days off now so catching up on errands and housework.

Went out to Banff with dh last Sunday to celebrate his birthday (DD stayed home due to a terrible cold) and it was so nice to get away and have fun together. Really looking forward to our upcoming travels. Nice day out there. Dh took his motorcycle to work for the first time this year. I might get Violet out for a spin too - we'll see :)

Haven't been reading here so need to thoroughly catch up. Liz - I truly admire how well you cope with dh decline. It must be very difficult. Bonnie - it's great to see you here and working hard to get to your goal. You're doing so well!!

have a pretty day, all

Thanks Linda

All-I just noticed on MFP "weight report" that I've lost 12.9lbs. since New Year's! That shocking new year weight was probably inflated (thank you champagne and holiday indulgences), and perhaps my weight today is a little lower than normal. But the good news is that is not all just fluctuation! It's real weight loss and a real downward trend. I've lost nearly a pound a week. In the thick of it that seems like so much work and so slow but then you wake up a few weeks later and you're down 5lbs.! Consistency.

Feeling pretty chatty. But I want to say again how good it feels to be active. I think I struggle with it a lot because exercise always meant shame as a kid--being picked last for the team, not wanting to swim in front of other people, getting ruddy and out of breath, etc. etc. But I'm starting to replace those memories. And I'm actually starting to like working out. I still doubt that I'll be a gym rat for life. But I have less of an argument with myself when I go. And I definitely feel a bit more like a sack of potatoes when I don't. I watch myself in the mirror and observe my form and start to admire my body. For all I've put it through and its resilience. I can still pick a lot of things out that I dislike. But exercising has been a very positive experience--pushing myself and going harder and seeing muscles peek out. I've also had to stop making excuses for myself. I can do it now. The weight isn't holding me back. And I'm so proud of my hott husband when he's bench pressing or sprinting. Hehe.

Oh, kinda related, my DSS just got his personal training certificate yesterday. So I guess you could say we are all just the picture of health :) I had hoped he'd go to college. He is so, so bright. But I have finally come to terms with the fact that was just not his path. And I am glad he has found something that inspires him. He set a goal and he reached it. Yay