Saturday February 11

114.5; 2050 calories 

I went to the pool for the first time yesterday after work and met some people.  Tokay we are going to Bradenton to meet friends from home for lunch. It is going to be hard to go home next weekend!

I had my performance review yesterday and it was fairly decent.  It is strange discussing what I want my future to be when I want it to be retired.  I believe we find out merit raises and receive bonuses in early March, so I'll tell them then.

Liz, that review had to have been hard. I would have spilled the beans for sure! Do you think they have a clue with you buying a place in FL and all?

I didn't tell anyone about the Florida place (and my boss doesn't really know I am WFH from there now). It was funny this week when everyone was talking about the snow and I was saying things like "Yes, it is very snowy in the Northeast" and "My son thinks there is about a foot of snow"...  I made the decision about when to retire about 9 months ago so I've been used to keeping it quiet. Only 2 co-workers know (who I trust to keep it quiet). I have been mentoring one of them to prepare her for when I leave.

So happy for you and DH to be able to do this. About 6-8 more years before we can do the same. Hopefully will have more frequent tropical vacations prior to that though!

I predict you're going to LOVE retirement!  I had no idea how much less stressful life would be after I retired.  I worried like crazy about leaving my work life and work identity behind and had considerable counseling about The Big Transition.  

Either the counseling worked or I was just worried about nothing.  But that's my risk-management approach to life -- figure out every possible angle and come up with 3 plans to deal with every possible sitch.  ;)   

Thanks Ann for the insight. A lot of my identity was tied up with my oldest daughter so when she died it took a long time to find myself.  AND a lot of myself is now tied to my identity at work, so leaving that behind will be a definite adjustment (though different from losing my Elise).

Oh, Liz -- I didn't know about Elise.  So very sorry.  

When I went into therapy 3 years ago I wanted to focus on 3 things:  weight/health, retirement transition, and "old age existential issues."  

It turns out that all my grandiose retirement plans were incredibly similar to my work-life -- stay busy-busy-busy, be productive, take lots of classes, get back to writing fiction and poetry, etc.  Instead, my first year of retirement was essentially a "gap year."  First one in my life.  Instead of enrolling in university classes I spent a lot of time on a zero-turn lawn mower, grocery shopping, killing weeds, reading, trying on skinny clothes, visiting old friends, taking a very long, delicious cruise last fall with hubby, watching Big Bang" and Hercule Poirot reruns, and doing crosswords.  

I didn't accomplish a damn thing.  And it has felt so good to my body.  Like I'm on permanent vacation.  

Maybe I'll get around to looking at those "old age existential issues" soon.  ;)  

I went to therapy (group and individual) for a few years after Elise died.  It helped me function, but to some extent I used food for the next 11 years to placate myself, and work to focus on. After DH was diagnosed, had to retire and we had to sell our primary home, I started to think it was time to worry about my own health (at this point with BP way too high, pre-diabetic, etc.).  

Funny you should mention that gap year. The neighbor we met for lunch yesterday used to be a senior VP at a big bank.  Now he is running several volunteer boards and is going home for a week in mid-March to catch up on his committees.  I told him that I do NOT plan to do the same in retirement (not that I will do nothing at all, but I don't want to swap a high stress job for the same with no pay).  I think he thrives on it though.

134 OTD.

Didn't track food yesterday or really stick to a WLS plan of eating. Hit up the "Nutman" fundraiser at work and bought dark chocolate covered coffee beans.

DH and I went out for Thai last night - very good and my restriction prevents me from over eating! We also went to the movie Hidden Figures - it was as good as everyone has been saying, would highly recommend it! Benefit of going out to eat prior to a movie is no urge for movie popcorn!

House cleaning today. I host bible study tomorrow night. Lots of homework to do for that. Fretting about my ear a bit but know it could be much, much worse! Hell, I've already survived sudden cardiac arrest - how bad can this be? Next round of PS will be delayed even longer as I will burn some of my PTO with the MOHs surgery.

Have a great day my friends.

Sudden cardiac arrest???