Sunday January 22

124's. Eats not bad yesterday tho some late night calories in fruit and nuts. 

Liz, I know it plays with your brain but I am glad you are trying to get more calories in. I respect that you are trying not to wake the carb monster....but what about a lovely cheese?  Our local market has been killing me by demo'ing fancy soft cheeses (ricotta, chèvre, etc) with a hint of lemon in them.   I have a sample (on an illicit cracker)but haven't been buying.  But, you, my friend, could buy and enjoy!

I need to see this De Chelly, I didn't even know about it to miss it. 

Seattle March was wonderful.  They expected 40-50 thousand but ended up with 120,000-175,000.  It was peaceful flow of solidarity even if we didn't all have the exact same priorities.  Lots of creativity out there! I was especially charmed by the youngest (one's sign said "I heart trucks") and the oldest with their walking sticks

I hope you each find what you need today --- solidarity in our common goal of skinny although we don't all have the exact same priorities from day to day. 

Shel

Great suggestion Shelly - my son is going to get some nice cheeses! Thank you!

Got on the scale today. Pay back's a ***** Horrifying number presented itself. I was up an additional 3 pounds. That's a grand total of 5 since Thursday. Hmph.... my own doing..... 

Am reconciled over the whole single puppy thing. Still not happy, but it's nothing I can control. I really only have two choices: chemically aborting the puppy or seeing it through. For me, seeing it through is the only options, so it will be what it will be and I will remind myself that credit cards are used for just these things - unexpected, emergency types of things. Sadly, the dog savings has dwindled down to zilch this past year. So be it. In my next life I shall choose a less expensive hobby! 

Lots of other stupid crap seems to have risen up due to my upset about the single pup. I am discouraged that I relied so heavily on disordered eating to cope. By yesterday, even though I "decided" to be on track, it didn't go perfectly. I realized I didn't care what I was eating and that I felt trying to get to a healthy, comfortable weight is futile. Of course, I am not a quitter so I know logically that this, too, shall pass. 

It is very hard for me to even post today. I feel like I am constantly in some type of funk these past few months. January started off so well, and then, wham! one thing and I'm derailed. (yeah, it was a big thing for me, but still...) My theme of "You're Never Just Quite Good Enough" is playing loudly in my head and when I can't measure up I don't find the point in trying. And then when I write this stuff I get worried that you all will see me as a person of great dysfunction - "Oh, God, here he goes again!" 

Thanks for the continued support and giving me a place to help put things down and working through. 

Busy day ahead for me. Work, work, work. Hope you all have a great Sunday rooting for your teams. 

Devon, You are PLENTY good enough.  No one has the patience you have with your dogs.  Remember that being derailed is okay as long as you get back on the "wagon". Go back to successful routines and stop beating yourself up (you don't deserve it)!

I think posting when one is in a funk might be the most important time to post.  Heaven knows  I wish I would Just Stop Typing.  But I end up hitting submit because if not here, then where?  Untangling these long associations with food requires some thought for most of us.  Posting helps with that process.

 I never, ever think that you (or anyone here) as a person of dysfunction.  If anything, I think "good for him for feeling his feelings" cuz 2017 is all about feelings for me.  Yeck.  

So, perhaps homework for you (to build on DianeS's post below): find a new theme song to change your inner voice.

Anyhoo, glad you are here!  

Greetings Dear Ones

I just love this group and the little glimpses it gives me into the lives of others. Seems like we are all riding the elevator of life at various stages. The scale was 132.5 today but fluttering to 132. That dang machine likes to toy with me and annoy me. 

Well Liz if you want to add back a few pounds I highly recommend peanut butter. 

Carbon I can't imagine how much hurt you must be experiencing. There is no way around it but know that we are all thinking of you and your family. 

Well we are into college football but not the pros. Will watch the super bowl for giggles. But if you have a regional team in the game thats different. Makes for fun. 

Dave I so know how you feel about dreading a project and then finding out its not so bad. Why do we do that? Sounds like your new digs are nearly ready and bet you will love moving in. 

Oh Kairk, these dog do rule our lives don't they? DH just bought about 25 lbs of a new dog food for the puppy (who weighs 12 pounds) and she hates it. May take it to the animal shelter. 3 dogs, 3 different foods. Yeah its an expensive hobby and I feel too old to do all the traveling. 

The sun was out earlier but now its clouding over. No rain yet but I am sure its on the way. Gotta plan indoor activity day. Looking for junk to toss seems like a good idea, but like Dave, its a job that I dread.

DH is eating white castle hamburgers which he buys frozen. The dogs are interested. I am pretty sure they are not on Dr.. Cirangle's maintenance plan. 

Oh well, Hugs to all and off to face the world which right now is just our snug little house.  Diane S.

P. S. we should get new theme songs in our head like "I An't Down Yet" from the Unsinkable Molly Brown or "Don't Rain on My Parade" I think from Funny Girl. Vibrant music is a mood lifter. For me its MoTown. Diane S.