Saturday December 17

117.5 OTHD - LOL!  It is snowing here (very pretty), but is forecasted to turn to rain by 8.  I hope so, as I am supposed to bring the car to the dealer for service 1/2 hour away and it is NOT a car to drive in the snow (convertible).  

This morning I am making a list and checking it twice to plan the last items I have to get for Christmas.  Luckily my DS is doing the cooking for Christmas so he handles the planning/buying for that.  He said he is going to make pork via the Sous Vide method (he has the cooking appliance).  I never even heard of it (and many other food related things that I now know the names for****il my son was a chef! 

I am ignoring my cold - very stuffed up but slept well last night so hopefully I'll have energy today.

Enjoy your Saturday!

good morning everyone.     

Great at photos of doggies and warmth.  

For those suffering with colds, ouch!   Feel better soon.

Guests leave today and second group arrive tomorrow.   I do like having visitors but do not like having to cook as am a lousy one.   Unless of course we serve cake and cookies for every meal.   

Calories were 1433 ans steps still not very good, 6888.   

Christmas plans still all over the place as various beloveds are ' not sure ' and 'it depends'.    It does not help that we have a birthday on the 24th and 26th.   

Enjoy your Sat.

121 OTD.  

Late yesterday, I posted a couple of pics for DianeS at the bottom of the daily post.  Make sure you look, totally smile worthy!

Be kind to yourselves today -- such a tough time of year for many. 

My post feels a bit dark today but I feel better having typed it.

I am triggered but so far refusing to bring foods into house that would bring me comfort and joy. It wouldn't even be temporary comfort and joy because I would bring in Costco's volume sizes that would last a while.

Then, I find that DH brought in what looks to a 15 inch pecan pie!  Apparently it is just for himself because he knows I am trying hard to stay faithful to VSG (I am rethinking staying faithful to him) and he literally oinks at my daughter when she has a bowl of popcorn. 

It is from a grocery store that has cheap, crappy, chemical laden baked goods.   So, that helps, but I will still ask him to put it where I don't have to look at it.

My triggering comes from knowing I am going to clean 16 year old DD's room today when she is out of the house.  Normally I just don't look but I can't have my sister's family seeing it in the state it is in.  Also, I think I don't think she has the personal capacity to dig herself out -- she needs help.  We have been trying to work with her to get little sections cleaned up on a regular basis but it still gets worse and worse. She is resistant to consequences and we honestly are trying not to make such a big deal out of it that worse things begin to happen again.  My actions will make her feel demeaned even tho I will try hard to keep my language positive.  I welcome any advise!  She is my only child so I have no other experience to draw on. 

In better news, I have been in contact with Bacon-man and I will pick up fancy bacon today.  This bacon is made from fancy no-chemical pigs.  When I think of DH's choice in pecan pies,  I realize he would probably prefer something super cheap even if it was soaked in radiator fluid.  Well, too late now.

Hug your fancy-chemical-free-skinny-selves close today!

Shel

Okay, I'm just going to be blunt - Get over it! If you can't deal with having your sister's family seeing the bedroom, that's on you. It's not your daughter's insecurity. It's yours. Clearly, your daughter has some type of issue keeping her personal space clean. My brother was very much like that as a teen. My mother closed the door. Every so often she withheld car keys until the room passed inspection. Passing inspection was clothes off the floor and dirty dishes back to the kitchen. BTW - he is now able to clean up all by himself! 

Since you know your interference will cause your daughter emotional distress, why get into if it's going to cause you stress, too? Is your sister's opinion of your daughter's housekeeping skills really so important that it's worth the turmoil pleasing her seemingly will cause? Really, Shel, it's your life and your reality. You are the one who loves, nurtures and supports your daughter. If your sister is unable to be compassionate towards your daughter's teenage state of mind, that, too is on her. 

You get to choose: Your daughter or your sister. Your pick. 

BTW - I wish your husband would not do that to your daughter. It's just cruel. He's being a total dickwad when he does that! 

(((Hugs))) my friend. We  deal with very similar situations (the rooms being unkempt among other things) here at our house too. Threats, punishments, yelling, pleading does no good. If I feel it has gotten to the point that damage to our home may ensue (food on carpets, stink etc.) I will go ahead and clean it up. They lose their right to their personal space if they are ruining our home. If you feel you need to say something at all, just say something like "you seemed too overwhelmed to take care of this yourself, so I decided to step in and help so our home/your room doesn't get damaged" Otherwise, I agree with Devon, if you don't need to use the room for guests, just close the door (or leave it open and have the embarrassment fall on your daughter's shoulders!).

Dealing with oinking spouses and teenagers is "a bit dark".  Teen years are bad enough without being oinked at.  We expected clean rooms when we were doing the children's home because you never knew when an inspection was coming.  They cleaned their rooms and earned screen time.  We also had chores to do.  If they did the jobs they would earn a free week.  If they did not do the job others in the house would pass them by in the rotation of jobs and other would get their free week quicker.  It really only worked with a group.  Peer pressure.  I have found that even though it all feels like a battle picking your battles is key.  And communication of course.  Like, I know you feel like I am invading your space but I am embarrassed by a messy room when we have company. I found giving control back to them helps.  You clean it I will stay out.  Raising kids is hard.  

My daughter was a slob (still is sometimes at 28). We were lucky that her room was out of the way and we kept the door closed.  It actually smelled when she was a teenager and she had to climb over things to get to the bed. Her closet couldn't even be opened. She actually is mostly neat in her own apartment now.  I think this is the way some teenage girls rebel.  2 out of 3 of my girls were like this.  The only advice I can give is good luck!

School is on break for 17 glorious days. Thank heaven! 

Today at some point, I must throw into the garbage all the crap I brought home so no one at school would see me throwing student/parent gifts in the dumpster. I was able to pawn off some cookies and such to a few teachers to take to their kids. 

House is a zoo right now. We have an extra male for breeding purposes here until Tuesday. It adds an energy level that is intense. Keeping dogs separated is a job. At least he slept last night, which meant that I slept, too. Thursday night he whined all night long, so I got very little and interrupted sleep. 

Weight has stopped rising. Now it is time to get it going back in the right direction. I will admit I have had a few WTF moments this past school week. I have felt defeated by my attraction to sugar. I am not sure why this year it particularly hard for me, but it is. I am telling myself to keep the "shoulds" out of my thinking. 

Much too busy with dog clients for the next 3 days. Wish I was in a financial position to take a break from the second job. But you know, we create our own realities and we must live them. 

Bestest to everyone! 

Weight up. Looking forward to this grazing season being over. Have not been motivated enough to not partake but will enjoy not having so many temptations in the near future!

Drama party happened last night even with the big snow storm, only 10 kids though, about 1/2 of what it could have been. DS#1 has big choral concert today. Was surprised it didn't get called off, even commencement at DH's University was cancelled due to weather. Hope we do okay on the roads.

Wt 227+  Cal 650 got to make the numbers drop.  I think my head is more in the right place. No N&Y and the rest just doesn't appeal to me. Not enough fluid in and that always makes me hang on to fluid.  I'm doing better on that today.  I have never really been into the Christmas spirit of things.  A bit of a scrooge.  I know it is bad form and all.  Maybe if I had the Christmases that DW had as a kid I would have looked at it differently.  I do hope that everyone else enjoys it.