Further musings

While doing laundry I was thinking about whether my orange jeans would fit since I am up about 5 pounds since I got them. While my surgeon thinks I should lose a couple of pounds to nip gain in the bud, my internist thinks he is nuts and my bmi of 22 is just fine for someone my age. I know older people who have been told to gain a few pounds - not because they are too thin but because its good to have a little reserve in case you get a serious illness.

Anyway, I got to thinking about why I (or indeed all of us) should worry so much about a couple of pounds or get so excited about the loss of a few. It came to me that its not so much about weight, health or looks but in my case its about power. I am used to getting what I want if I really try hard. I think all of us are pretty high achievers.  Overeating may be related to that pressure to perform (I know mine was and is) and I suspect thats true for many both from outside sources and internal ones. Its a power struggle

Anyway, it was sort of liberating to realize this. Its about what I want and what I am willing to do to get it. 

So toss this into your emotional salad and see if it gives any insight. Probably will forget it tomorrow but for now its interesting.  

There are now 4.6 pounds of candy in our house. unopened.  At least 10 lbs more will show up by monday night.    Feeling powerful. Hope you are too.

Diane S

Yes. That is all. Yes. 

I think you have hit the nail on the head, Diane.  It is power and control for me.  I have to keep that ever important control.  Control is everything for me - when I feel I don't have it, that's when I do bad things like overeat.  When I feel in control, I feel good (empowered).  Can you tell am an adult child of an alcoholic?

I bought all the candy yesterday and IT IS STAYING UNOPENED UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT!

Power is good. It is essence. It comes from within and is essentially a state of being. Being powerful is more about who we are, not what we do. 

Control, on the other hand, is a limited resource. Control is like willpower. There is only so much available and when it's reserve has been used and is empty, it's gone. One needs to refuel. I think that's why so many of us *****ly on control struggle. Part of my current focus, issue, struggle - whatever you want to call it - has to do with letting go of control and dealing with who I am. Exerting control all the damn time is exhausting. 

So, yeah, power is what we need - the inner power to make the choices that lead us down the path to where we want to be.