Oct something. Thursday

Good morning everyone.

am so appreciative of the honesty and support of this group.  

A much better day but only 5876 steps.

we are having a wind storm and it is lovely.   

Happy Thursday!!!

WT 223

I too greatly appreciate the honesty and support of this group.  

Not many airstream steps but I did install 4 - 12 volt lights.  2 in the berths and 2 under the dome in the front.  I have made a list with the remaining items. It fills a page but it is very rewarding to knock even one item off.  Some items are expensive so they must wait on the budget.  But the end is in sight.  

Weight has been crawling up but my diet has not changed so I am going to blame it on the new meds.  It is pretty much a fail anyway.  Over sedation alone could increase weight.  

Seek peace, do good.  And don't let the election get you down.

114 again today. Eating crappy stuff in the evenings and it isn't agreeing with me. Reflux has required more meds to manage and I throw up from time to time. Not sure if these things are connected so will continue to monitor.  

DD has not been getting much work due to unexpected business slowdown so it's good she came home because she could not have managed at any level financially.  Not sure what's next for her in that regard but it's important she continue working but not add undue stress.

DH has been a withdrawn couch potato while healing. Not cranky but emotionally distant.  DD is helping him  when I'm not around but overall he doesn't require much.

Went on my first 'closet intervention' with a senior stylist last evening.  It's an in home (fee based) consulting service the boutique offers to those who need help figuring out what fits and how to put outfits together.  It usually results in them coming in to buy needed pieces, which is what this person is going to do on Sunday. So fun!

I'm missing spending as much time as I used to checking in and responding to posts but I'm still skimming. For those of you struggling right now I send you strength and love. 

Oh man, I need a closet intervention! I always wanted to be on that show "What Not to Wear!". I don't think my closet is awful by any means but I would love to have a stylist come in and show me what works and what doesn't. DS #2 is totally into fashion (wants to get into fashion design) and is always telling me my outfits don't work. I know I dress way younger than a 51 year old should, but hey....now that I have the body to do so I'm not wasting it!

Hey there's no such thing as dressing too young!  It's all about what works on your body and how comfortable you feel in it!

Actually, Stacy London wrote a great post about this not so long ago. And realistically, I think the 'goal' should be to establish a personal style rather than to be a slave to trends or 'fashion'. Sometimes trends work for us and sometimes they don't - same as for younger people!

That is what my son says is wrong with my clothing - I don't have my own style. I think I do, but what do I know??? Lol! I loathed clothes shopping for so many years that this is pretty new territory for me. I know I love skinny jeans, pencil skirts and sweater dresses and jackets/blazers! I want some leather skinny pants but not sure DH would approve. I did just get a new pair of knee high black boots - Fun! Wearing them to a wedding this weekend!

Take your son shopping. He sounds honest and as if he has good sense. His pics on FB show he does have his own style. Anyway, my mom used to take me shopping on occasion because I'd tell her what worked and what didn't. 

Down 1.6 today.

Many years ago I took on the password of FATMAN1 for all my school related needs. It came about as a self-deprecating joke about having to wear a traffic vest at yard duty. Our school is surrounded by open space and hiking trails and we are in a little "valley" with hills and trails that overlook the school and yard. I joked that the would be sniper would see the Fatman in the vest and I'd be easy pickings. Anyway my self-effacing quip kept me from having to wear the fluorescent orange vest.

I mention this because I realized I have never really thought of myself as anything but "the Fatman" or "Fat Man" for at least 15-20 years. My password at school is still Fatman1. A lot of who I am internally is wrapped around my weight and food. Even now, as someone who is merely overweight, I still think in terms of me being a fat person.

The outwardly thin person has been fleeting even with WLS.

I often am surprised by the reflection I see in the mirror or window. When I am heavier, I am shocked by my actual size. When I am thin, I am shocked because I don't match the vision of myself that I have in my head. Clearly, I have yet to find a place that I am comfortable and satisfied with my body.

I am wondering how large a part my self-perception and lack of body satisfaction plays in the ongoing food use and abuse.

Simply, my musing of the day. I am guessing this thinking was spurred on by my day two carb withdrawal. I do not feel as if I am struggling. The search for my truth merely continues.

I keep looking for where you say that you are changing your password but I don't see it.   I know you are simply musing, but I want you to drop that repetitive, negative, self depreciating joke. 

We can come up with a much better password if you need help :)  

Oh Yeah, how about studmuffin1!