Friday, October 21

204.  So today's extreme stress is the pending shutoff of my daughter's electricity and getting that resolved, troubles with the disability paperwork submitted, almost resolved, plus trying to find everything needed for my boss's annual report.  Just keep swimming...

My grandson's birthday celebration went off nicely although everyone (except me) was looking for more pizza, which was not in the budget.  I got my grandson a hardcover, chapter book from Barnes and Noble.  He is a great reader and loved it!  He kept shhing us so he could read.  I had a small piece of ice cream cake.  If it were cakey cake, I would've passed, but ice cream cake is almost always a yes.  This is a conscious decision that I do not regret.  Back on track today and planning for tomorrow.

Jury Duty is stress making! I am spending time in court and then playing catch up at school. It's like having two jobs. I had to cancel a client yesterday and didn't make it to the gym as planned. I am beginning to be resentful of the intrusion on my time and it's only been two days of duty. Luckily, court is in recess this morning. I am at school with my kiddos this morning and will go to court this afternoon while they are at Art, Music, and PE with the specialists. Happily, no sub plans to write for today.

I have not pooped either, so weight is up another pound today, but eating was excellent yesterday. Have I mentioned how much I love having a scale again! LOL!

Yes, we are all busy and yes, we often put ourselves last and use food to comfort and self medicate and console and relax. I am certain that character trait is one of my ongoing issues with my inability to maintain a stable weight for more than a few months. I am constantly putting my own self-care on the back burner while I deal with "everything else" that needs to be done.

It was nice to read Liz's comment about priority because it solidifies some thinking from last night: I must make time this weekend to prepare food (specifically loads of protein) for the upcoming week. Lack of ready to prepare or prepared food is often my downfall.

Hope everyone has a grand weekend! I'm looking forward to tomorrow and a relaxed early morning - then it will be go, go, go! I'm going to pick up Ella and bring her home. YAY!!!!!!

126.6 - up .2

Cold camping weekend ahead. Will get some exercise in!

Happy Day everyone!

Greetings Gregarious Guys and Gals

Well still at 132.5 and not liking it one bit. Spent all morning at the art gallery (the fresh fudge sign has returned and now has pictures). I just don't go in that place.  

The gallery was pretty slow and it was drizzly so I couldn't go outside and sweep leaves off the patio. So I put about 1000 steps on my fitbit just walking in circles around the place. I am sure I appear to be crazy.

Geez, what are people thinking when they give sweets to diabetics and former fatties.

Jury duty must suck. I have been able to get out of it because I tell them I am a self employed artist and can't pay for my health insurance if I don't do the art. Can't do that anymore because I have medicare. 

Cloudy weather makes me feel like a complete slug. Gotta go find something useful to do at the studio.

My purse seems like it weighs a ton and makes my back hurt sometimes. I weighed it and its 4.5 pounds. Makes me realize how my extra 6 pounds impacts me. 

Bet dear Ella will be thrilled to be home. 

Watched an especially engaging episode of My 600 lb life. Woman lost 450 lbs, went through hell with skin surgery, became pregnant but lost the baby, but eventually had a healthy child. Also got a job with Dr. Now as a surgery liaison. I love seeing success stories on that show and this one was great.  

Guard your skinny. I am going to imply out my purse.  Diane S

I've been watching 600 Pound Life just recently too. Good shows, but sometimes I want to punch family members or kick the person in the a** (well only 1 - the young woman *****fused to walk and kept saying she was following all the rules, but never losing anything after surgery).  Not really, but to go to the extreme of WLS to see it sabotaged for these people is tough.  Of course I like the ones where they finally understand it and get on-board and I so hope it continues for them!

Good evening everyone,

My mind is a scary place.  I have not been on a scale since Bill passed away. I told myself I needed a year to figure this out and get my emotions in check. I still log my food, the good, the bad and the ugliness of it. Irregular exercise as well.  In my mind my clothes are all tighter and I figured I had gained weight maybe even lots maybe not.

Well today was my physical exam at the Dr's office. She said step on the scale, now I'm a freaked out right. I have downed a two litre of water, so that they can draw blood from me later. And it is later in the day and I have not gotten to the bathroom yet. Well much to my surprise I've lost three pounds.

Oh how my mind influences me and how I can't trust it one little bit for anything. Hence the logging of my food. What a crazy dis ease this is.

I'm so sorry you lost your husband.  I know it is hard to start taking care of yourself again.  My daughter died a long time ago and it took me years to regain control and do something about it.  But you can do it.  Maintaining your logging habit gets you started.

Liz

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose your child. My thoughts are with you and hugs. It amazes me how the human spirit can go on after tradigy; but it does. I know that I will get through this but it will take a lot of time and my life now will be much different than we had planned, but it will be good again. Just right now its going to take time to get there, but I have faith that I am where I am supposed to be for today. I guess what really stands out to me is how much my friend circle has changed, I never imagined that would happen. Some for the better some not.

Anyway hugs Liz and again I am so sorry for your loss and you encouraged me by your words thank you.

Lorna

You are welcome Lorna.  I'll be rooting for you!