Friday, October 21

WT 220  

Seemed like we spent most of the day waiting in the Dr office.  But we were able to come home and take a nap in our own beds.  It is only an hour away.  Eating was good except a cookie.  Expected wt to be up because of salt content but was the same.  Have a great Friday!  

You beat me (you posted while I posted).  Sitting in Dr offices is not fun.  

I'm moving my post:

In reading everyone's posts from yesterday, it struck me how busy everyone was both personally and in caring for others. I wonder if that's partially why we all have had weight struggles (because we previously put ourselves last). I know I ate junk when I was stressed or sad (and when tired or bored). But I do think it was because I worried about everything and everybody else and somehow didn't feel that I deserved the same attention. What finally got me to have WLS was the realization that with my uncontrolled BP and incipient diabetes I might not be around much longer to be with my husband and children. And that with my husband's condition I had to do it now while he is still able to be alone.

Hows that for early morning psychoanalysis (5:55 am)?

124.7 - Ate okay but struggled wanting more yesterday. No real exercise as I worked, then went for a hair cut and food shopping. By the time I got home it was dark and time for dinner. Probably should stop using darkness as an excuse and take the dogs for a walk after dinner. I think I am going to have to banish the almonds - healthier than other stuff but too easy to keep grabbing handfuls of calories...

Happy Friday!

Hi Everyone!  I haven't been here for a long time.  That *%$# pride is my downfall and always seems to get in the way.  I think of you all frequently, and keep wanting to come back, but by the time I get home from work, my good intentions are gone.  Off today to celebrate my 27th wedding anniversary with my sweetie, Jay.  Lots has gone on since I last posted.  My oldest is off at college - luckily only about an hour away, so we have been able to see her some.  Work continues to be challenging.  No luck, as yet, in finding a new job, but I'm looking.  We will be losing our health insurance for Nov. and Dec, hopefully we'll have a new policy as of January.  Every time I think that I may be able to stay, and things aren't so bad, another nail in the coffin, like this one, is added.  Food, as you might expect, has not been great.  I haven't weighed myself, but know, from the tightness of my clothes and the way I sometimes eat with abandon, that the number is climbing.  My only saving grace, keeping me from totally plummeting in to the hell I lived in before WLS, is that I haven't crossed the line into the hardcore sugar stuff - YET.   I had a moment, yesterday, in which I felt like I wa****ting bottom.  It didn't keep me from still making poor choices for the rest of the day, but it was there.  Last night, a moment of sanity came over me, when I chose to not eat any more for the day, as I wasn't really physically hungry and the craving was coming from what is now a habit that needs to be broken.  That, coupled with an email from a dear person in this group, that was sent days ago, but just found this morning, gave me the courage and motivation I needed to just post something.  My Higher Power is still there and taking care of me.  I love you all, and I hope today will be the beginning of my journey, again taking the right road.  Have a wonderful day all!

So happy you stopped in!

Thanks Paula - me too!

So glad you decided to post. Happy Anniversary to you and Jay! Pride can be a big hinderance, though in my case it's usually shame. Who knows, maybe they sort of go together. I will keep my fingers crossed that something wonderful appears for you in the way of a new job/career. 

Don't be a stranger!

Thanks Devon!  I do think pride and shame kind of go hand in hand. 

124's, home yoga'd yesterday and just barely acceptable steps. 

Liz, early morning psychoanalysis.....you fit right in!

I see I have a busy, busy work schedule.  Hope to yoga right after work and then have a pot luck after that.  Oh, and there is cake today to celebrate a bunch of groups which happens to include pharmacists.  Yesterday they gave me (formerly SMO) and my buddy pharmacist (uncontrolled diabetic) giant sugar cookies with frosting. It had a happy face painted on it.  I tried a small pinch of cookie with my coffee and deemed it gross and threw the rest out. 

Me and peanut butter are taking a break from one another.  There hasn't been real abuse but I can feel it taking roots.  So, I am taking a page from the presidential candidates and pivoting to alternatives.

Find your pivot,

Shel

Good morning!

141.0, no change from yesterday.  Even though my weight hasn't changed I feel a couple old habits sneaking in that I don't like...a little pinch of this or that, done when I know others aren't looking.  The worst is the graham cracker with smear of PB...it is to me what nuts and yogurt are to Dave.  So I will be taking a break from that.  

Went for a 3 mile run in rainy Maine this morning and put a chicken and bean chili in the crockpot so I have food for work this weekend.  Onward...after I meet some friends for lunch!  Sigh...it's always something!

Love to all!

Heather 

Hi Heather!  I'm in rainy Maine too!