Monday 26th

My God, man! It's gorgeous! All of it. WOW! 

Hi everyone.  Home from Chicago.  Warning: the following post will be in the form resembling a pity party!

144.0. 2 pound weight gain from last Monday.  My words for the day are disgusted and discouraged.  I definitely gave in to the temptations when traveling and reverted to some old habits.  A small container of ice cream alone in my hotel room at night.  A muffin in between breakfast and lunch yesterday.  Could it have been worse?  Absolutely.  Could it have been better?  Definitely.  It scared me to death to feel vulnerable to food again.

I got home around 10:30 last night and in an effort to get right back on track I went for a 4 mile run this morning.  But it felt like I was punishing myself instead of celebrating what my body can do now.  No matter what the scale says I felt every bit of my old 270 pounds running this am.

I realize this probably seems dramatic.  The 2 pounds will be easy to get off.  Between traveling all day yesterday and increased carbs it's probably just fluid anyway.  But i am still feeling so vulnerable and awful today.  I feel like the fat girl again.  I feel sad.

Plan for today in addition to the run is keeping it very low carb.  Resting and getting my mind back on.  Thanks to all for listening and i promise the more positive me will hopefully return tomorrow!

Heather :)

This is your safe place to vent and be vulnerable!  

To my outside eyes, it sounds like you did aok on your trip!  Small ice cream and muffin are just part of practicing maintenance. Focus on patience the next few days and tha****er weight will flow the other direction.  Eventually, you'll just remember that you managed the trip aok.   You can make different choices (or not) next time.  

Don't try to over-compensate on the food side --- it feels a bit like punishment? Deprivation, esp for water weight, makes me feel bad about myself, too.  Put on your skinny clothes to remind yourself you are NOT 270 lbs!  

That said, I'm practicing more protein-forward eating today as well :) 

Heather, Don't be too punitive to yourself.  You went to Chicago, it is hard not to eat in Chicago. You most likely did very well over all.  Onward with your routine.  The 2 pounds will leave as quick as it came.  That being said I am going to lunch to meet my future DIL at a sandwich shop.  I will just pick off the meat.    David

I just wanted to drop by today.  Needing a virtual hug from WLS family

My sister has a VSG account on instagram and someone reposted her before/after photo.  And I was reading the comments and am aghast.  Well mostly just one person who started out by saying "you don't deserve that crop top."  Going on to say that weightloss surgery just feeds the laziness that gets us here in the first place and then finishing up calling it "body mutilation."  

On the one hand isn't technology awful that people feel free to say such things on the internet.

On the other hand what she said probably isn't an uncommon belief, albeit uninformed.  There is definitely fat discrimination.  Some of the worst of it coming from overweight people!  And if you don't do it the "right" way, you're a cheater.  Because back to the belief that weight on the scale tells us something about a person's character--and if it's too high then they are vile, lazy, slothful people.  Ughhhh!!

This is why I've never shared my surgery IRL.  I know some people might think less of me for it.  That I'm just deceiving them but I'm truly just a fat, vile person who cheated the system.

But then sometimes I feel extremely guilty for not sharing my surgery.  That somehow I'm perpetuating this notion that surgery is bad or shameful.  And I especially feel badly for those overweight individuals who are on the fence about surgery and might keep trying diets again and again, like Sisophus with his rock.  Because it's the "right" way.  Except I truly believe that for some of us, it was the ONLY way.  

And you know what?  Even if God forbid people IRL found out, and thought less of me.  I'd still do it again.  In a heartbeat.  I'm just so thankful for all of it.  From the health aspects.  To being able to sit in a theater seat and not thinking about whether my thigh was encroaching on my neighbor.  And you know what?  Most people never know.  They treat me much better than they would have had I not had surgery.  Putting up with a few haters who think they know what's best for my health is much easier than the many many people who said much worse (mostly under their breath or behind my back) when I was overweight.

And for what it's worth, I always equate the surgery with any other life-saving or life-improving surgery.  I consider it medically necessary. 

So glad you dropped in BB. Nice to see you again!

The older I get the less I care what other people think.  People are going to hate,  It is on them to stay stupid if they don't want to know better, be better and do better.

Greetings Great Gathering of Gastric Sleeve Groupies

131 today. Glad that temp. pound is gone. Bye bye good riddance. Gotta get a blood draw today. Maybe it will take some weight with it. Have to see the hematologist tomorrow for follow up on the platelet disorder I had last year. Seems to have stabilized. I can tell by whether I bruise easily or not. I am sure its totally caused by stress from my mom's crazy friend. 

Today is a lovely day here and the painter is back. Should go pretty fast now that the prep is done and the purple going up.

Diane O, the fluid issues must be so hard. Doesn't a gallon of water weigh 8 lbs? That means you have more than a gallon. Keep working at it. We are rooting for you.

Dave, great looking floor? Wanna come do one at my house? Lots of squat opportunities.

Heather just put the trip behind you and move on. My dr. says don't worry about fluctuations unless its 5 lbs. Of course I am up that from the 122 I weighed for a long time - hence he is after me, 

Cousin Tiggy visited yesterday and we had four wild border terriers rampaging around the house. Tesla did a good job of showing off extreme cuteness. I think she will go to "camp" at her breeders this week and get evaluated for show purposes. She gets Best in Show for cuteness. 

BB, good to hear from you. I am lucky to not have had much backlash about my vsg. Well, you can't fix stupid. You can fix ignorance. Don't know why people think they need to be so critical.   Blow them off I guess. They have no clue what they are talking about. 

Hey the walking poles sound like a good idea. My hubby uses a walking stick but its to keep nasty dogs away. 

Diane S

Sure I'm up for it.  Only if it is purple to match the walls.

Very late check in for me. 

Horrible, very bad, no good day for Mr. Me! Well, maybe not as bad as all that, but it was tough on an emotional level - dealing with the aftermath of Lucy's euthanasia. I wrote a two page letter to the vet hospital about the mismanagement of Lucy's care late last night because I was removed enough to be able to complete it. I also discovered last how important it was to Ron that Lucy's remains to be taken care of by the same company that cremated our other dogs. So, I spent some time this morning dealing with both pet remain companies and the vet hospital. By the time was all said and done, I was just sort of done. 

We had an inservice day. I skipped the breakfast, but I admit I chose to eat crap after lunch. I had a couple of mini chocolate thingies, and a few bite sized cookies. Didn't make me feel so well either. 

Bright side: shoulder is on the mend. 

I need a scale. 

I am finding the presidential debate quite entertaining.