Tues. I think it is the 13th

morning all.

cat fight outside which set the dogs off.  Whole household is awake.

better day but still little walking.  Am soooooo sooooo tired of having to lie down every four hours.   

.  I also echo being vigilant about creeping pounds.  Am 30 over and it is a huge struggle.

The same 10 come and go.  

We can do this!!!!

132 on the dot. Eating okay yesterday and I got in almost 15,000 steps - finally got my exercise it. Had wanted to see a little loss today but got a little gain instead. I'll just keep plugging away!

Paula

Patience, my friend.  Time is your best friend and I bet it will fly by with everything you have going on.

Ahoy Mates!

122's today.  Ok steps yesterday.  Before bedtime eating ruled the day, darn it.  I need to prepare my next day's lunch closer to dinner time to keep my hands out of the fridge at bedtime.

What's your anchor to keep on keepin' on?  For me, on this day, it is the words of wisdom from those further out.  Quite timely as sacks of bagels and cream cheese pass by my office on the way to the staff appreciation event. 

No bagel can bring me the joy that >200 lbs weight loss has brought.

DianeO, embrace your singleness!  I always loved living by myself and still not-so-secretly enjoy traveling by myself.  And not just so I can over-eat ;)  As Kairk suggested, I gotta think you will find the BEST guy when you are busy being you. I'm sorry about the miserable swelling, but at least you know FOR SURE that it isn't fat, jus****er.

Find your anchor,

Shel

Thanks, sweetie !

Good morning fam.  116 for me. Better than yesterday but I have to keep things really clean for awhile and see where the scale lands. Fell into the last of the camping chocolate last night, but it's gone now and won't be replaced. I haven't had much time to focus yet, but it will come. Also low on food and can't shop today. 

Had a nice first day at work. The staff are so helpful but there's a lot to learn. Men's tips - the legs of your jeans should be worn as tight as you can comfortably store your 'junk' in, but not so tight as to show the pocket linings. T-shirts should never be tucked in.  Shirts with collars can be worn tucked in or out. If the tail is as long or past the crotch of your pants, it should only be tucked in. Many shirts require tailoring in the back if they are tucked in. Colours for fall - copper, muddy yellow, burgundy, dark green, small brightly colored prints. 

Today will be day one of three initial ladies denim training sessions. Needless to say, many more nuances for us!  As I knew, this store takes the approach that while trends are worth noting, it's much more important to have clothing that fits properly. 

DD joined us for dinner. She said she doesn't feel ready to make a decision about coming home yet - needs to see how things feel after she finishes up one of her two part time jobs that she gave notice for. Today is her last day.

We had a very frank talk with her about her inability to care for herself in terms of the basics (housekeeping, laundry, cooking, paying bills, basic car maintenance, etc) and she was in tears about the housekeeping stuff. It's so embarrassing for her and she is ashamed and doesn't want people to know. She admitted that her therapist does not know the extent of the problem.  

I believe she fits the diagnosis for Severe Domestic Squalor, which is paired with Hoarding in the psych diagnostic manual.  (She isn't a hoarder, thank god, so can let things go) Quite frankly, if she had children or pets she would likely get flagged for intervention, but as it is she primarily harms herself and people are not aware of how she lives.  It is so bad it impacts her health in terms of things like food safety and of course socially no one can be welcomed there, including us. It was a very hard conversation, but it neded to be said. 

So we will see what this stirs up for her and while it's painful, we hope it spurs action. Yikes this stuff is so hard. Thanks for listening. 

Thank you so, so much for your post today. Your daughter is my oldest friend in so many respects. I have never heard of Severe Domestic Squalor. It fits my friend so well, along with the depression. My friend still functions, but on a sub par level, in my opinion. She lacks any type of joy in her life and buys things to feel good. I am going to look into the Severe Domestic Squalor symptoms. So hard what you have to do concerning your daughter. 

Thanks for the tips. I have found a website that tailors shirts for each man's measurements. It's pretty awesome. There is also a site called untuckit.com that sells shirts for the untucked look. Shirts aren't super good quality, but they are okay. The colors you mention are some of my favorites and go well with my skin tone. Yay! Will have to find some of the bright prints you are talking about. 

Thanks again. 

I'm glad this sparked something for you In terms of your friend. For our DD, at least it would give us something 'concrete' in terms of a diagnosis/treatment plan. The literature suggests that in addition to anxiety and depression, there is some evidence that the pre-frontal cortex (executive functioning, which impacts decision making) is not working optimally. That makes very good sense in some ways in terms of my daughter, but despite her poor decision making, she often demonstrates tremendous insight about others, etc but not necessarily about herself. 

My heart goes out to you and your ongoing efforts to support your daughter. I respect your desire to understand, your hesitation to enable in any way, and your hopes for the highest level of independence.

I am excited about all of the fashion knowledge you will being us !!  What are the fall colors and trends for women ?

My anchor? Hmmm.... Good question. I will have to think on that a bit. I'm not sure. When I first had VSG my anchor was getting thin - nothing more. Once thin there was no anchor because I was there and I sort of floated away! I can laugh about it now looking back because I understand it now, but in a way it's sort of sad!

I think what I'm holding on to more than anything now is that I want to learn to eat like a truly thin and fit person - listening to my body's needs and understanding that emotional eating (depressive or celebratory or...) is normal for everyone, but that type of eating need not be all consuming and controlling. Make sense?

The scale was back in the 215s today. I decided to see how much the scale bounced around today. Got on it 5 times. One weight came up twice, so that's the weight I'm going with. The scale showed a .6 pound spread today. I suppose that's not so bad, but when I first got it the scale didn't flinch - same weight each time I got on.

Food was in place yesterday, with some emotional pull in the evening. I'm having some issues with sitting on my feelings about some things going on at home. The repression of feelings always leads me down the path where I will find food for comfort. At least now I am aware of this and am now doing pretty well keeping the eating in check. I try to make my homemade Greek yogurt and sugar free popsicles the foods I "abuse" for those evening pulls, and sometimes one of Ron's Skinny Cows.

Hoping everyone finds a place of centeredness and calm today, myself included!