Sunday Aug 28

welcome shrinking Sarah.  Glad you are with us.

today will be a better day.

Enjoy this Sunday!

128.something. Can't remember! Only got about 4 hours of sleep.

House is sold! Now to find a place to live and figure out how to sell/get rid of 20 years of accumulated "stuff". In need of a major downsizing!

Congrats Paula! Been there done that a couple of times myself!  Things ways worked out super well. Stressful times, but never any regrets. I bet things work out super well for you too!!

I second that Welcome Sarah.

WT 217.4  Cal 1079

Went to eat at BIL for family to meet a new girlfriend.  Taco salad.  I asked for a smaller plate because the real plates look huge to me.  Mostly meat and tomatoes.  Did eat about 5 chips.  And a chocolate chip cookie.  I enjoyed the meal and company. 

Got the window tint on.  It looks so much better but doesn't show up in pictures.  I practiced on the curved windows in the front and they will have to be redone but I have the material to do another trailer and each attempt will improve. 

Hope everyone has a healthy, happy, high step, hootin' day!

Paula, Gongrats on selling the house.  Downsizing is very emotional for me.  I had sparkplug out of a honda generator we had in Africa when I was a kid. It was cute. It no longer sparked.  Why had I kept it 45 yrs??? I had drawers of that kind of stuff.  In the end it is very freeing to get rid of it. I still have a room to eliminate.

115 today. In a sad place.  

We helped DD move  from her apartment into a room in a house yesterday. It's hard to come to terms with the reality that she can't care for herself physically or emotionally. We're realizing that she may have to live with us over the longer term, likely permanently. Certainly not what we had hoped for in terms of her life - whoa the weight of that has me in tears as I write - and certainly not what we envisioned for us either. 

We will play out this move but likely make no plans for retirement and travel because unless something changes, we will need to provide a physical home and day to day structure for her very soon. DH and I are both in a state of paralysis today, feeling very much like we did when she was in late adolescence/early adulthood when we also feared she would not be able to work and care for herself. Will likely be a quiet day as we both try to internalize what's happening here.

We are feeling mentally and physically exhausted with the weight of this.  Not to suggest that DD doesn't carry some personal responsibility, but I also think that we and every social system - schools, mental health, etc. have failed her     . So there's anger too, but it really isn't productive. Mostly I feel bewildered. I'm a fixer and I can't fix this.   

So sorry you are dealing with this heavy emotional weight.  Hoping you, DH and DD can figure out the right path to safety, health and peace.

Oh Linda, I can just feel your hurt. I am so sorry that this is happening. Parenting is for sure the hardest job I will ever have and based on what I have seen from those that have gone before me, a job that never ends! I pray that your spirits will be lifted as time goes on and you all figure out the best course to travel!

Linda, I am so sorry.  I am glad you posted.  I hope you reach out to others, too, even just for general friendship/community.  I think your husband will be going back to work, soon? 

When you previously posted about your daughter, I didn't chime in with my own DD story because it was so new. I didn't have words, yet; just swirling emotion.  I looked at the emoticons for help but they failed me, too :)

It truly has been the summer of family counseling and she will move into probable anxiety/depression counseling later this fall.

I recognize the emotions in your post.  You didn't mention betrayal, tho, which is definitely shades my experience. My MO combined with having an only child probably created a situation where I over-invested in my relationship with DD.  Now that there is trouble with it, my VSG experience helps me recognize that my ostrich instincts spills over into other areas of my life, too.  I'm working on not isolating myself.

You are not alone, my friend.    Many postive thoughts flowing your way! 

Hugs, 

Shel

I can't begin to understand what you're going through but I can pray!  Love.  Hugs.

I will not even pretend to know what you are going through. I don't.

What I can say is that having worked for well over 20 years with children and families I have seen it all. I have learned that children are who they are. They come out of the womb imprinted with who they are. Sure there are extreme cir****tances that may influence development, but fundamentally we are who we are. 

So, whoever your DD is, is who she is. It is her journey. 

Much love to you and DH. Hugs and support.