Monday, July 18th

Makes really good sense! Goals and aspirations keep us looking forward!

Deep oxy thoughts, I love it.  Had to read it a couple of times but I knew it would be worth it. I think I sometimes get stuck on what isn't going to move me to aspirations....I suppose that is where the first comes in --- finding the clarity. 

Happy vacation, Lesa. Don't stress. It is what it is. 

Happy LBL, Shel.  Notice I'm a little green. LOL! 

Oh, Paula, you and me and the sweets. The bane of our food life. I love you idea of no junk  food today. Good for you! 

Confessions of a Disordered Eater

Okay...... my truth..... I soooooo thought about posting  an omission or an untruth because I'm slave to the scale and I feel ASHAMED to report I am up another 2 whole pounds today. That makes up 4 pounds in 2 days. Logically, I know I did not eat 14,000 calories over the weekend, so I must not fret unnecessarily. 

However, it does speak to how I ate yesterday. I was fine until after I dropped Ella off with the handler. Drank a protein shake before leaving. Stopped off at the vet to get flea meds for Ella and the rest of the gang and headed out. Traffic was AWFUL and what should have been a 2 hour 15 minute drive ended up being 3 1/2 hours. Rather than getting overly hungry, I did have a small hamburger on the way down. That was doable. After leaving Ella, I stopped at Starbucks for a coffee and I wanted a cookie (soothing perhaps...). I got one. Total trigger. Two hours later and about half way home I stopped and got a soft serve at McD's. Oh, what? 2 cookies for a buck, miss? Oh sure, I'll take those, too. Got home after a 4 HOUR drive and was in no mood to cook. Ron wanted Chinese so off he went to pick it up. I ate whatever he brought home - a potsticker, some friend rice, a bit of orange chicken and mooshu pork without the pancake. A VSG sized plate, yes, but still.... 

So full confession. I ate like total crap yesterday. I guess it's a good thing I didn't know it was National Ice Cream Day! Lord only knows what would have happened then. Well, with no one else to blame but myself I can only sigh, pull up my big boy pants and get back to it. 

"Confessions of a disordered eater" sounds like a good title for a book.  I'm not agoraphobic but close.  3 1/2 hours of traffic would drive me to eating. Maybe the Chinese food has you holding on to fluid too.  Confession is good for the soul.  You can't shame yourself into wellness. Start new. Trends are painfully scary sometimes.  Pain is a good motivator. Time to reverse the trend.  

Yes, those darned sweets! Get me all the time!

Hey All

Well still at 131.5I am obviously not getting off the few pounds I would like to. Simply not working hard enough at it and lack motivation because I feel fine at this weight. Need to get organized. Story of my life. I did get walks in for both girl dogs and the puppy can easily do over a mile now. Just a matter of avoiding big loose dogs in the neighborhood.  Even did some gardening yesterday cleaning dirt away from the new siding and clearing up dead stuff for new heathers. Hubby is busy digging post holes for new gates so we can keep all our livestock contained. 

Ocean Diane I am so glad you have Sadie to comfort you. Nothing is more healing than a good doggie. Hope you  are doing better. You too Carbon and LBL Shel. My back is a  little sore (a minor matter) so I will focus healing energy on it. Also heating pad. 

Ooh, the sun just peeped out.  And the house siders will be finished today so the dogs can run free in the yard again and we can take all the yard tools out of our living room and put them back in the shed. 

Kiln opens today and we will see what goodies emerge. But first, more coffee and surfing OH.  Diane S

Hello All. We traveled yesterday. A fair haul to get back to Alberta to rendezvous with some of our visiting Aussie family. Unfortunately that means we're in DH's hometown aka crazytown with his three generations of addicts and likely other psych issues mixed in for good measure. 

Scale has stayed at 114, which is certainly not red zone but solidly up a little. With the stress of immersion in the in-laws' drama and a strong culture of food pushing, it may be a challenging week. Yes my husband is determined to spend an entire week 'visiting'. God help me when typically every hour feels like a week with them. 

Reprieve until this evening and then Thursday we will be heading home to Calgary for the day. We're in a lovely rural campground 35 Kms from the city where the crazy family lives,so hopefully that will give me some time away from the chaos. 

Sending healing energy to Diane O, Carbon and Shel today, and love to all of you. Extra glad to have you as an anchor right now!

Hi all!  Thinking of every one of you!  Shel, good luck with surgery and diane O, hope you'll be better soon.  Have a friend who gets cellulitis and it clearly is not a fun experience!  Everyone else, thanks for your total honesty!

Still struggling with food.  I can't seem to get through a day without indulging in something that can trigger me.  Like someone else wrote, "Confessions of a Disordered Eater" (did I get that right?)  sounds like a book and an inspirational book at that.  I can totally relate!

Work continues to be a hassle, but I'm managing day to day.  I got a chance to speak privately with our clinical director, who I trust implicitly, and came away feeling a bit calmer and with some ideas on how to make the rest of my stay in the job, no matter how long, more bearable.

I have nothing profound or wise to say today.  I'm just another bozo on the bus, trying to move forward on this journey and am soaking up everything from all of you.  Hugs!  Mary

"I'm just another bozo on the bus". Oh, I like this one!!!! Lol!