July 6 Thursday

morning everyone.

second sugar free day and that is good.

calories 967 and steps only 8,999.

leg still giving grief.

travellers!!! Thanks for the updates.   Marvellous!!

Kairk we are keeping on!

You lost a day there Carbon!  Had me worried for second that I lost a day of vacation!

 Grrr, had a long post and OH lost it

Lost it twice now. I give up 

Paula, I have found 2 things with OH. First, sometimes the OH server seems to be overwhelmed and times out. When this happens when trying to post the post will be lost. The other thing I have learned is that when I use the greater than or less than characters, everything from the point of using either of those characters will be lost. At least I've figured out those two quirks. I have taken to copying my posts prior to hitting the submit button. 

Thanks Devon. I did use the less then symbol!

Hi all, well I was up early for me to go finish setting up my art show. got it all set up and labeled and priced. Many errands but it makes me move my old behind.  At least I am down a half to 131. 

Got some chicken white bean chili from safeway and it was pretty good. Put blobs of gy in it. Then today I ate a peanut butter cup at the bank. Dang bank keeps all this candy around. The siding is nearing completion and not a minute too soon. 

Now I have to go pre clean for the cleaning lady.  Sigh. I lead a rough life!

Puppy is still a wild child.  Don't expect that will change any time soon.   Diane S

Another day of keeping on. 

Weight same. Sigh....

Food was fine yesterday, but I did not log. I did measure, though. Baby steps. 

This having food issues thing really blows sometimes, you know?!?!?!?!?!

Dealing with some emotional crap around the whole food thing. I'm taking stock of my "trigger" foods, if you want to call them that. My nut likes to call them reactionary foods, which is actually more accurate, I find. Yesterday I was also reading a bio written by a long time OAer. The idea of "forever abstinence" caused the rise of a quiet level of anxiety. While discussing my anxiety it was helpful that the nut mentioned all or nothing thinking because it helped me realize I was projecting a harsh foreverness that in the long run doesn't seem reasonable. 

I am trying to look at the greater scheme of things. I've had 14 weeks of not so great eating. In the past not so great eating has gone of for years, not weeks. I am also not an emotional basket case spiraling out of control. I'm very aware of what is going on, why I've had difficulty staying on a food plan that promotes weight loss and optimal health, and have been accepting of those things rather than berating myself and falling into a trap of negativity. Like my anxiety, there is a sense of quiet, peacefulness about all this. 

Along with the peace the old tapes are running in the background. I have fleeting feelings of inadequacy, occasional self deprecating remarks pop into my head, and I want the "war" to be done. I am tired of what I am beginning to view as relapses into unhealthy eating (both food choices and behaviors). I know it takes time- years and years for most - to reach the "Promised Land" beyond obsession and obesity. 

I had a hectic morning and realized as I headed off for my appointment that I still had yet to eat. I quickly made a protein shake and off I went. I was pissed that I hadn't eaten and it had passed 10. I told the nut that I had thought in my frustration that after our appointment I would just say, F it,  run over to Peet's to get a coffee and a pastry, eat the pastry and afterwards sit in my car and cry! I was joking, but all that had played out in my head. I did go to Peet's, but skipped the pastry and went to Whole Foods instead and got a flavorful, more appropriate lunch: chicken salad, carrot salad, and a bagel. I ate half the bagel. I can't remember the last time I actually ate a bagel. It was good. I felt treated, but at the same time pretty on point. 

So there you have the latest installment in my ongoing saga. 

159#  I had big plans today to go to the gym but that all changed when I tweaked my back.  I am not bending over very quickly so BodyFlow is out.  I suppose I could get on the elliptical but decided to take a muscle relaxer, get on the heating pad and see how I feel in the morning.  Hopefully, it won't last long.  

I'm dog sitting for the next couple of days. Always keeps me on my toes and lots of company!!

Devon-I feel your struggle.  I was just telling Andy that the last two summers I've busted my ass to lose weight/work out and am still in the same place I was before.  And, that's not to say I haven't actively tried more than just summer but it's a time where I feel like I can focus.  He's gained 20# and is miserable. The weight isn't coming off like he'd like either.  So, he came in this mornng asking me if I would commit with him to do shakes for dinner for the next 5 days...being the loving wife I am (heh) I agreed.  On Friday, however, shake for lunch as we go to dinner with friends. So, we'll see how it goes.  

Do any of you feel hungry???  I rarely do unless I've gone 6-7 hours without.  But, I do feel the need to eat on a schedule like its a habit.  I'm wondering if trying to break that habit would help.  I don't know.  I know I'm head hungry a lot .  I know I love the taste of food.  I know I love chewing.  That sounds pathetic....

Anyway... Those are my rambling thoughts for the day.  Thanks for listening.

Carbon...it's Wednesday!!!  lol  Your calories are excellent!

Love all the vacation reports, doggie post and just plain living every day!!!

As much as I whine...I'm blessed and thankful.  I ordered some new clothes and I like them all...all medium tops and a winter sweater for $15!!! Yay!

Okay, I'll try again now that I know a possible reason for my post not working.

New condo has a scale! Now it is an old fashion one with a dial numbers that go by 10' lines between the numbers. According to this possibly very inaccurate scale I'm about 128, which would be awesome!

Exercise has been good, an hour walk/hike each day. I logged over 16,000 steps yesterday. Just hit 10,000 for today.

Our new condo for the rest of our stay is very nice. 2 bed, 2 bath penthouse overlooking the Maalea Yacht Harbor. Feels like home. I wish we could just stay here!

Here is the view from our lanai