Tuesday, May 31st

196.  I need to go old school, survival mode like in the beginning.  OR I could just cut out the bullsh*t.  Maybe I'll do that.  pffft to myself

Sunday night, I took my grandsons to Stewarts for dinner then to the park after trying to take them to the boardwalk which was even more crazy crowded than imagined.  My older grandson said he needed to go to the bathroom.  The park is about a mile from my house, so I told him to hold it until we got home.  I forgot that he mentioned a need to go to the bathroom earlier while we were at Stewarts.  Needless to say, he did not make it home.  He was very upset, but I took the blame because it was my fault.  There are some things we cannot control, some things that we MUST do or else there WILL be consequences. 

The silver lining - I taught myself another hard-learned lesson that I already knew, but ignored.  My car is probably much cleaner now than before this incident.  My laundry is caught up.

Greetings all

Sounds like holiday weekend was fun but stressful for some. Time for all of us to get centered and back to routine. 

Yesterday's gathering was indeed a food minefield but I managed to only step on a few. Hors d'oevres are my downfall more than desserts. BUT there were these chocolate chip bars with cream cheese filling and I had to eat a half one plus a bit of carrot cake. But my scale forgave me and still at 131.

Well there is nothing nicer than a good night's sleep except maybe a sleeping puppy not terrorizing the household. Tesla has shreaded newspaper all over the living room. Hubby calls her a "news hound".

Siding workers are back pounding on the walls. Its going to be a warm day for our area - maybe will hit 70 degrees. 

Stress baking. I used to do that a lot. About 9 pm i would crave some cookies and make some. Of course I lived alone then and a batch would only last a few days since they were also for breakfast.  Can't believe I used to do that and that I have been able to  stop. 

Taking the old dog Liza to the vet later today. She can only walk a few blocks now and can't jump on furniture any more so I want to see if there are some meds for arthritis pain.  She also is a bit of a foggy doggy. I have heard there are meds for that but not sure how useful they are. 

Today is my Mom's 91st birthday. Never thought she would still be here but grateful. 

Gotta get some movement in today. Yesterday was complete slugdom except puppy chasing. I am actually thinking of buying a pair of shorts. It never gets real hot here but it would be nice today.  In my fat days I NEVER wore shorts. Still can't have them too short thanks to saggy inner thigh skin.

Peace all.   Diane S

Happy birthday to your mom!

I wear capris and knee length shorts for the same reason Diane.  Used to be that shorts rode up my inner thighs, which would rub together and hurt.  Now it's due to the floppy skin.  Same reason I don't wear sleeveless and cap sleeved clothes - have to be at elbow length or 3/4.  My batwings are very loose, wrinkly and can be considered as lethal weapons!  My younger daughter finds it hilarious to swing my batwings back and forth! 

I am beyond frustrated.

I've been on the 1,000 calorie plan for several weeks.  This past weekend I went over.  Like up to 1400-1500 calories  on 2 of the 4 days I had off.  My new weight?  166.3.  Up 2 pounds.  How is that even possible?   The math doesn't make a wit of sense.  So I'm not going to be going on vacation any lighter, which sucks.

I have decided to go rogue and seek out my own dietician - I just can't get the kind of support I need from my doc's office at this point.  I've called twice to schedule a follow up appointment - the last time I called I got the "voicemail is full" message.  He doesn't have a staff nutritionist anymore and I really need someone I can actually communicate with.

Anyone have someone they like and would recommend?  I'm in San Francisco - I could travel to someone in the Bay Area for the right resource or perhaps do phone/Skype consults.  Trying not to go to the "What's the use, I might as well eat all of these brownies" route, but I'm super pissed off at the universe right now. 

I like my nutritionist very much. She takes a whole person approach to nutrition and eating. She likes to know about you and your relationship with food. Her knowledge is top notch, but I tend to disagree on her calorie levels because of the whole WLS thing. She came around to letting me be my own calorie guide. Her approach has really helped me look at food in a whole new light. I no longer demonize foods and foods really have no value and I've learned my eating is neither bad nor good. I simply make choices when I eat. Some are supportive of weight loss. Others, well, not so much! 

She's located in Lafayette. Not sure where you are in relation to Lafayette, but maybe it's a reasonable distance.

Though it has been a journey with ups and downs, I can tell you I don't regret a single dime I've spent in her office. Not a single one. PM me if you want more info. 

     I flew in at 12:30 AM, and wasn't in bed until 2:30. Up again at 6 AM to do some shopping before picking up Sadie. Legs really retaining water from all of the flying. 128.4. Up .4, but I'm thinking 126-127 tomorrow. I can honestly say I ate under my sleeve, and prioritized the protein, but didn't deny myself tastes of anything. Ate sashimi daily and must have walked 7-11 miles daily. I have to say I LOVE being small. I am better a****ching what small people really do and don't eat, and they truly prioritize what they eat.

      I am feeling a shift to small person thinking. I have NEVER gone on vacation and lost weight. This vacation wasn't all about food, but I really tried tastes of anything I wanted to try... don't feel deprived... feel grounded by the petite 4 clothes I found. Tops are PS. Grateful for every moment I can experience in this balanced place, and ready to protect it.