Tuesday, May 24th

Feels better soon! Go away respiratory bugs!

Thanks Paula!

Hi all.

Nice session with shrink yesterday. We talked about my exhaustion, sleep issues, how it is impacting me emotionally and cognitively. We also talked about my self-assessment for ADD/ADHD. I am clearly not ADHD, but I do have significant symptoms of ADD. These symptoms seem to be exacerbated by my lack of sleep. The nice thing is that since I've been accepting that I might be somewhere on the spectrum of ADD I've had a lot more tolerance and acceptance for Ron and his full blown ADHD symptoms.

Food was far too loose yesterday, but I didn't really care, so I'm good with it. I wasn't off the rails, but I had way too many carbs, not nearly enough water (only 32 oz) and my protein was a tad low. Scale reflected it this morning. I'm up 2 pounds from Saturday. Oh well....

Got a full 5 hours of sleep last night. I'm ecstatic! Still not enough, but so much better than the night before! 

Paula, I'm just going to put this out there for you to consider. You say that your food intake has been loose, but NOT loose enough to warrant a 3-pound gain over the course of a week or so. Take it from me - I, who have been there, done that, said that, and gained it - we who have been obese can twist and justify our eating well beyond the reality of the calories we are eating. I'm going to guess that if you are eating loosely, you are eating well beyond what you think in crap calories. Unless you are weighing and measuring all those crap calorie portions you're not really certain how many extra calories you are eating. My advice is to continue to eat as you wish, but weigh and track EVERYTHING you are eating. You will get a far better idea of what you are actually eating. Knowledge is power and from knowledge you can make a logical decision about how you wish to go forward. 

Baked goods in particular (my downfall, as you know) and confections are the most calorie dense foods you can eat. A little packet of Peanut M&Ms - a personal fave - is 250 calories for a 1.74 oz pack. That's 15-20 M&Ms, which is NOTHING. A single Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut is 190 calories. Even with my sleeve I could eat 3 of those, if I wanted. A blueberry scone from Starbucks is 420 calories. A Starbuck's chocolate chip cookie is 350 calories. Crap calories add up easily and quickly. Please, please, please do not fall into the same trap that I did. Those little loose calories do count and as time goes on we eat far more than we realize.

This is coming from the man who is consciously eating more than I know I should and accepting that for now this is what I need to do. I am also accepting that the scale is reflecting my eating behavior. I've played the denial card for far too long. My survival in this game is now dependent upon accepting my truth. (Not always easy and sometimes not what I want to do, but it is what works for me.)

Okay.......Off the soapbox.

Hugs to you all! 

I also am feeling I cannot have possibly gained 3.4lbs. in the past 10 days.  And I have been tracking (all but 2 days).  So I do think it's possible that there could be water weight or something else unexplained.

However, totally agree with weighing/tracking, especially what I refer to as "casual calories."  Ya know, the candy bowl at work.  One big change that I have made is NOT eating any of those casual calories.  Because I wanted to be honest.  However, I do love me a good sugar rush.  So about twice a week I will go to the convenience store next to my work, pay a ridiculous price for a full Reese's, eat both, track it, and be done.  I've still fit it into my calories!  And something about it being full sized forced me to acknowledge the calories spent in a way that I'm sure I'm less likely to do if it were 5 wittle bitty innocent miniature ones from someone else's candy jar.  And for me, even with so few calories, the 210 calories have been totally worth it on some days.  

I'm still at 113 so holding steady. Weird to have DH here today so that will take some getting used to. Considering giving up our house rental at end of June and looking for something cheaper for the winter months. Gulp - not looking forward to moving but the savings may be worth the hassle. 

Words of advice to all of you who don't know how many calories you need to maintain/gain - record everything, especially when your food is off track!  You're going to need that info down the road or otherwise you may find yourself jumping all over the place with calories because you won't know your number.

That is also why I recommend increasing (only by 100 cals) after you've lost a pound, or decreasing (only by 100 cals) after you've gained a pound. This takes time so  I really think it's best to wait and see what the scale does before making further changes. Let your scale and your food log be your guide for calorie adjustments.  In my experience, it is critical to know that number. 

I've been tracking everything I eat and measuring most, but do admit to eyeballing a few things. I will do a better job of tracking exactly the next week and see where I land. Thanks everyone for your advice!

165.3 - better than yesterday, which is what I'm hoping for on a daily basis now.

I need to get better at planning my meals - was rushed this morning and left the house without lunch - which means I buy it today, and my choices are harder.  Will focus on packing for tomorrow's lunch this evening instead of waiting until the morning - better chance of making good choices when I'm not squeezed for time / stressed.

Have a great Tuesday everyone!

I think several of us have been in the "unexplained weight" category today (well...about a week for me.  Grr).  So I'll go ahead and post today.

I'm so close to my surgiversary date and my goal before leaving for the Keys that I'm quite disappointed that over the past 10 days my weight has increased by 3.4lbs.!!  Nuts!  Other than this weekend, I have been tracking everything.  That has been one huge difference between now and in the past.  I'm not a big fan of it all the time.  But since I had such a short time to meet my goal, I wanted to be sure I was honest with myself.  I think my highest calorie count (other than this weekend--which I explained yesterday) was 1106 calories.  Most of my calorie counts have been around 850-950.  I've used my digital scale to figure out weights of food.  And when I have had candy, rather than a "small handful" from the candy bowl, it's been a full piece of candy that I "felt" the impact of, and allotted in my calories.  I'm beyond frustrated.  But I have a few thoughts.  

Consistency pays off.  This is just a snapshot.  I've only been doing this for 5 weeks.  And within those 5 weeks, I know my weight has bounced up and down all around.  I think the trend tells you a lot more than the daily weigh-in.  I admit I am a fan of daily weigh-ins (especially in maintenance) because I used to be guilty of having a bad weekend of food, putting off weighing, put off facing the facts, and soon enough it would be 6 months later before I faced up to the damage done.  But, while losing weight, it's been sorta disheartening.  I'm hungry.  I want to eat foods that I'm eliminating or limiting for now.  And somehow my hungry brain likes to make the argument that all this good eating habits CAUSED me to gain weight!  And it's so tempting to believe that and throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I really would have liked to give up today.  What's the use?!  Clearly this confirms what I already thought--that my body has pretty much reached its set point and there is nothing I can do.  But instead, I decided to do as much as I can do...at least for today.  And I looked at the things that I've been doing, and what has been manageable.  I haven't been eating lunch out with the exception of fast food chains that have nutritional information and you can almost guarantee that they're standardized (aka McDonald's grilled chicken salad, Wendy's chili--no cheese, etc.).  I haven't minded that so much!  And I've been really pushing my cooking skills at coming up with very light dinners, and I'm pretty proud when my husband even likes the "diet" food--like last night's shrimp stir fry with red peppers and snow peas (no rice!).   And eliminating my weeknight drinking hasn't been bad.  At all.  In fact, I poured myself a glass of wine last night, took one sip, and decided "nope."  

So taking a step back, looking at what I can handle today, and trusting that consistency has paid off, are what have given me the ability to eat yet another grilled chicken salad for lunch

ETA:  THUNDERRRRR UP!

Yay you!