thur, 5/19

120.5, good sleep :)

Morning everyone

the away time was good.  Did not lose an ounce but did not gain. 

Walked and walked.

calories yesterday 1020, steps 14 545

pushing water today.

almost Friday.

128.8

Lorna... thinking about you and eager to hear how you are doing.

Mary... have a great superstar weekend !!  Enjoy every moment !!

Diane... care plan for the puppy is more fun than your mom's, but hopefully "puppy blast off" will help everything feel new and successful.

Linda.. I admire your serenity and certainty around where your body functions best. Thanks for sharing some of your former uncertainty... it helps.

Some of the group's best thinking is the last handful of entries for the day, after thoughts have percolated around a bit.  Yesterday's  additional posts about having no idea "how to be thin" were powerful !! Devon... your aspiration for a "logical, methodical approach to maintenance, detached from personal value" ...  I have been working hard to detach how I value myself from any number assigned to how much my body weighs and what portion is lean and what portions is fat.  I'm trying to focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle (weight range, activity level, emotional/spiritual balance). 

Here's to working together, to figure out "how to BE thin " and more importantly how to find balance while doing so !!!

You're all the best !!!

Add :

Just had a call regarding my labwork.  My white cell count is 3.1 - have to follow up with PCP.

Back to my Goldilocks number 112. DD is coming over after work and I'll try to get some weeding in today if the weather holds. Light rain in the forecast, hoping for heavy rain further north to help with fire contr within the next few days. 

And DH has one more day to work before he begins 3 months vacation. It will be weird having him home every day but I'm sure I'll adjust quickly. Truck is in for some maintenance work and DH still has to complete fifth wheel hitch installation and wiring before we pick up our home away from home. He had hoped to be ready this weekend but no go. Oh well, we've got nothing but time. 

Devon's point about us not knowing how to be thin is spot on. It is a whole new skill set that takes a great deal of thought to successfully build. Most days now I'm comfortable with it but I still have my moments where I doubt myself and see the road to regain ahead of me.

There are still times I feel like a total fraud. At almost 3 years into maintenance, I feel that less often, but there are certainly times I feel like it's all been some kind of giant fluke - a stroke of good luck, rather than the truth, which is that I've begun to build out a life at a normal weight. Still hard to fathom sometimes. 

Hi all

Well thank Gawd for coffee. Had to go get a fasting blood draw today and can barely drive myself to the lab without coffee.  Now here I sit with a lovely cup. Feeling much better.

Well the elevator is on the rise, 131.5.  Yesterday I was hungry a lot but ate protein and grapes. Made turkey chili for dinner. I did eat a modest blob of peanut butter knowing full well the consequences.  Overall I ate nothing terrible but beaucoup salt in everything. Iv'e realized Im just piddling around with this and need to get serious and quit whining.

Lots to do in the next few days including puppy prep. they all passed a  health check today so thats good. 

Thinking of you Lorna.  take care.

Costco run in the near future. Gotta make a list. Maybe some seafood other than shrimp. They sell packages of chicken meat from those chickens they roast and I have often wondered if its any good since chicken is a mainstay here. Of course, hubby wants taquitos.   

No complaints today from the Mothership.  so far so good. diane s

I am not a big fan of the package rotisserie chicken breast meat. It is sort of slimy and a bit fatty at times. I prefer the Kirkland grilled chicken strips in the fridge section. A little less expensive, too. 

Good to know.  The grilled stuff would be easier to use.  I wondered how much of the skin fat would be in those bags of meat.  diane s

201.5

The puppies still insist that 5 am is wake up time. No matter where I go in the house I can hear that little Green boy letting me know it is time to start the day. Am not catching a break there.

Threw out my lower back turning around in my chair at an after school meeting yesterday. In pain. YUCK! Today will be an NSAID day, whether it's recommended or not. I'm seriously debating a Motrin (800 mg ibuprofen) sized dose, since I have them.

We are having our annual Teacher for the Day day today. My little guy is most ill suited for the occasion. Oh well, it's a fundraiser. Luckily, I had all sorts of fun things for him to do with the kids already set to go this morning. They are currently building/engineering structures out of packing triangles. Lots of fun!

I am discouraged with weight loss and food. I was quite hungry yesterday and purposely ate extra. The reason for eating extra was two-part: 1 to deal with the back pain, and 2, lack of sleep seems to spark my appetite. I ate nothing that was not on plan - just extra to the tune of 400 calories extra (a Quest bar and an extra serving of my yogurt and berry concoction).

This morning I had a serious "why bother" moment. I sat with it and let it sink in rather than react. I had two glasses of water and took my vitamins, made a protein shake for later and sipped my coffee. The why bother played out in my head while I did these things and I realized that in the end my why bother behavior would lead only to more frustration and get me farther away from where I truly wanted to be.

NSV - Ron and I were trying to get puppy pics with them all in a group. Epic Fail! However, when I was wrangling them Ron took some pics with me in the pen. I really liked my arms and shoulders in the pics. I even felt a bit proud of what I looked like in those photos. I shall hang on to that today, because it will keep me out of the whirlpool of negativity, to which my toes are dangerously close!

Honestly, if Linda doesn't offer to snack you, I will.   Be proud of and grateful for what you have accomplished !!   Hold on to what you have, for all you're worth.  Every step forward from here is a bonus !!!  You look FABULOUS !!!!

I don't think either you or Linda want to munch on Devon, but a good hit upside the head is in order! (I knew what you meant of course, just had to add my 2 cents)