Four years out and big gain

Hello friends.

I had VSH in February 2012 and lost 88 pounds.  I was thrilled with how I felt and, to be honest, with how I looked. It was nice not having to hide from pictures with my family, etc.

On April 9, 2015, I lost my dad.  He passed away suddenly although he had battled illness for years.  I didn't eat hardly anything the month after he died.  Since then, I have gained 30 pounds.  I went right back to my "old self" - using food to cope, using food to soothe.  Only the food really doesn't help me cope, it only makes me feel worse about everything.  I am angry at myself, I am disappointed in myself.  My dad was so strong and he would never want me to be this unhappy.

So now I'm trying to find my way back.  Honestly, I was never a poster child for successful WLS.  I didn't exercise, take vitamins, log my food, drink lots of water, etc.  I ate less, that's about it.  Now I'm  finding that eating less isn't resulting in the weight loss that I achieved four years ago.

Now I have to work the program the RIGHT way, the way I should have done it before.  Maybe if I had, I wouldn't have fallen back into old, destructive patterns.  I just don't know how to start.  I feel so defeated. 

Thanks for listening.  This past year knocked me to the mat, but now it's time that I got up off the mat.  I tried to do that several months ago, but apparently the brain wasn't ready.  Now - I hope - it is.

I am so sorry for your loss! Many people use food to soothe. You are not alone. Welcome to the Maintenance Board. There are several here that are newbies (like myself) and are learning how to do Maintenance, several that have lost and regained and some that have lost and successfully kept the weight off for years. Some have even had recent losses just as you have! We are a honest yet supportive group. So glad to have you join us and I hope you fine the support you are looking for!

Paula

Hi Lisa, so glad you're here!  There are many of us who had our surgeries within the past 4-5 years or more who have struggled with weight gain and falling into old behaviors.  I am one of those people, and am struggling to take off the 25 lbs or so I re-gained.  I won't lie and say that coming here is a panacea.  However, having a place to be honest with others and, especially with ourselves, and to get/provide support, is a major part of moving forward on this journey.  You are not alone.  It sounds like you're already on the right track with what you need to do.  Coming here will help through following those actions.  Sending big hugs!  Mary

Welcome Lisa!  Glad you found us and I hope you find the info and support you need here. This group has been very helpful to me and it has been a big part of my day to day maintenance strategy.