Sunday May 1st

Happy May Day!

125.1 today, up about 2.5 lbs from yesterday.  No doubt multiple factors involved but a major contributor is extra salt that came from extra nuts and extra rice crackers yesterday as I spent several hours trying to get caught up on computer work at work.  I probably need a strategy for when I am at work, mostly alone, trying to get stuff caught up.  "Being behind" is code for my body to want to use food as a distraction.  As I tell myself over and over again, better to just get the work done.  Otherwise, hours later I am still behind and have added guilt about food choices on top of it.  There were other indiscretions through out the day.  I only cleaned up my act in the final couple hours.

Boy was I crabby last night!!!!!  I was very sleep deprived for 3-4 days mid week.  I am sure that is a major contributor to the negatives in my life.  I am improving on that front but still lots of work to do.   

That's enough about me.  Let's talk about Linda.  I looked up pistol boots.  Italian, on-trend ankle boot.  I approve!  I have plenty of Northface and Patagonia.  I have kick-ass around the camp rain/mud boots.  

Linda, I am ready to be your driver!  You and DH take those beasts off for long rides and I'll drive your rig to the next site!  I'm not scared of Micky/Minnie!  

But seriously, I am wondering how you will plan your itinerary.  Will you generally know where you are going and then just fly by the seat of your pants?  Or, do you have to make sure that you have firm reservations?  Or, maybe something in between?

Personally, I am an in-between person when planning vacations.  My husband (who's official work title includes the word "scheduler") feels insecure with my approach, he likes everything planned to the minute. Literally, TO THE MINUTE, folks! I roll my eyes and laugh because the alternative is divorce.  He generally doesn't want to plan vacations himself which I can understand because it would be exhausting to plan to his desired level of detail. 

Have a Skinny Sunday.  I plan on working from home today but will also get in yoga and steps.  My sleeve already feels tight this morning, as if it remembers yesterday's assault.  Didn't keep me from having my Sunday 60 calorie toast with PB, tho.  Yesterday, FWIW, was a good activity day.  So, there is that. 

Ok, off to kick off May with a strong VSG friendly day. 

Shel

An additional comment about gratitude:  thank you so much for listening and sharing. Such a unique support that I did't know existed.  I have always traveled this road alone.  This, I am sure, is better.

This gush of gratitude was initially inspired by today's sun and the discovery that my key fob still works after going thru washer and dryer!  Many, Many blessings to count. 

Morning all. I'm at 113 again. Better food day yesterday. I'm rushing off - leading a group of 10 motorcyclists through the Rockies today. Haven't led a group yet this year, so some pre season nerves this morning. 

Shel I have to look up pistol boots because I don't know then but they sound great haha. I must have ended up with an autocorrect for Pistil belts (Oregon). You will love those too!!

Ah, that makes more sense. I was thinking that the boots looked fabulous but wondered if something water resistant made more sense!

Morning.  It is a gorgeous one here, with the trees showing off their shades of green.  Laundry is out on the line and the crockpot is loaded.

terrified of motorcycles so admire you very much.

a much better day until 11 last night when remembered that had to make cookies for today.  Of course the testing did not help.  Also vacuumed because what else are you going to do when the cookies are baking?  Was alone in the house or else my popularity level would have been zero.   

So total calories including the testing was1299 and steps 12, 887.

smells:  a colleague had a problem.  Nearly knock you out.  She had a morbid fear of dentists and it wasn't until her front tooth fell out that she gained courage to get a complete set of false ones.  It took a time but all smells have gone, she looks fabulous and her confidence zoomed.  

Enjoy May Day.   Lorna how are YOU??

Here's to a skinny May Day for all!

No may baskets for this chick. I am old enough to remember making those and taking them around.  130.5 for me.  Gotta get another pound or two off.  Who'd a thunk that 6 years after surgery I'd still be dieting. Somehow I thought I'd just be done. But I am a work in progress. We all are. And we are works of art too!!

Thinking of you Lorna. 

Thinking of motorcycle trips.  I am scared of them too but sure must be fun. 

Got some art work done yesterday after days on the phone with Mom's issues. I just hope her end is peaceful and gentle. Thats what we all hope for I guess. 

Chip still stinks some from the skunk. Needs more treatment.

The big project is getting all the ferns and plants cut back from the house so the workers can get the new siding up.  Nasty wild blackberries grow like mad around here. They are good to eat but horrible to get rid of. 

Yeah easy to snack when you have to do boring work Shel - as I sit here staring at huge pile of papers on desk.

take care.  Diane S

I have to admit I felt almost "guilty" for not posting yesterday. Isn't that a bit silly? By the time I did sit down and have the time to post it was after 10 pm and I thought to myself, "What's the point? I'll post tomorrow." It is now tomorrow so I must post! 

If I write that I have been struggling the past two days with food, that would be an outright rationalization and take the onus of my choices away from me and put the responsibility for the choices in some sort of La La Land of Mystical and Magical Thinking. The real deal is I have felt drawn to making some poor choices - all revolving around high sugar food items. (Big surprise, huh? ) I can get into the litany of reasons for the compulsion to make poor choices, but in the end it doesn't really matter - there will ALWAYS be some sort of emotional reason to eat. It doesn't matter if the reason is positive or negative. Those reasons are around every bend for me. What matters is that I am hyper aware of what is going on right now and have spent a good bit of time thinking about solutions. 

So here is what I have decided: For the next 4 weeks desserts will be of my menu of choices. Dessert items include, but may not be limited to, ice cream, frozen yogurt, pudding concoctions, ices, Blended Coffee drinks, and of course, any item that could be purchased in a bakery. I toyed with the idea of allowing myself one "treat" per week, but am not sure if that is a rationalization, magical thinking, or a ditch effort to hang on to an old "friend", so for now I am choosing to abstain for 4 weeks. Now, next week is Teacher Appreciation week at school, so my timing could not be any better or any worse!

Better - to keep me away from the problem food. Worse - free access to the tempting treats at school will make the task of sticking to my resolve all that much harder. Ah, but such is life.

I'm hoping that talking with the shrink tomorrow might yield a cognitive behavior strategy or two that I can begin to use as "free foods" present themselves. This is still a big issue for me. While I hate to admit it, I am beginning to realize that indulging in a "free food" (a cookie or chocolate on the lunch table at school for example) can lead to a host of other disordered behaviors, the worst of which to me is food seeking.

So there you have it.

Like Shel, I am grateful to this group. IT is so helpful to have a place to share my thoughts and challenges with people who can understand my perspective and journey.

XO, Devon

PS - yesterday 199.4 today 200.3

What is is about "free food" that makes us eat more?  Hubby and played dominoes with friends last night, and I just ate way too much sausage and meatballs between games.  I only had about 100 calories left when I went to the party and ended up eating at least 300 over that while we were there.  No matter how much I tell myself that I will NOT eat what I shouldn't, I still do it.  I always regret it and I still do it.  

I've also concluded that I can't do anymore baking for a while, and when I make potluck food I need to stop tasting.  Or, I should just buy something from the store and not even bother cooking.  Old habits really do die hard, even when we know we are sabotaging ourselves while doing it.  

I'm so grateful for all of you, you are my therapy each day.  

Didn't weigh in today. Woke up at 6 (after staying up until almost 1 am) and realized that I hadn't heard son #1 come home from Prom (curfew was at 2 am). I got up and checked his room - not there, looked out in the driveway - no car. Mom panic mode started and I called his cell - no answer. A few minutes later he texted that he had inadvertently fallen asleep at the post Prom party house. He was safe so all is well. I decided not to impose any punishment this time around. He will be 18 in a few weeks and I genuinely believe his story. By the time I realized I hadn't stepped on the scale, breakfast and protein hot coffee had already been consumed! Tomorrow!

Finally did boot camp yesterday, no exercise today. Pooped from so little sleep last night. Prom pics all edited and uploaded to a website for the kids! It was fun taking the pics at the school last night.

Paula

Glad your son was safe and sound!  A relief I'm sure.