Friday, April 29th

123.4 - down again. Thought I would stop in early and start the thread before I am off to work. Hope you all have a great day and start to a good weekend!

Stay skinny my friends!

Paula

Good Morning !!!   FGIF !!!   Back to the middle of my sweet spot.  Okay Shel...inquiring minds want to know.... HOW DID IT GO ?!?

Yesterday's conversations about honesty and sometimes seeing trends/truths in others before seeing it in ourselves really resonated with me. When I'm feeling clarity processing information "outside myself", I need to dig and identify what that is really bringing up for me.... because it's something.  It took me a year of individual therapy each with two different therapists (looking for the "right fit"), a third year of individual therapy with a great addiction specialist followed by an additional year and a half in one of his addiction groups to finally begin to identify and address core issues.  That work is a never ending process, although I'm no longer in therapy.  All of the learning continues to evolve and spiral around. As I heal and grow and move further along in recovery...the issues are still there, but I'm finding they present themselves differently in maintenance. Sometimes, it looks different because I've evolved and I'm peeling back new layers of the onion.  Sometimes, it's just old thinking emerging, presenting itself ... as almost a "mutation", trying to get past my guards, vigilantly watching for the original version.

I have some denial going on regarding my excessive use of the Amazon One-Click button.   I'm going to unlink my credit card from my account, which allows me to order "anything I want" with one mouse click.  Having to get my credit card out of my wallet, type in all of the required information and numbers will slow me down and give me think time, hopefully helping me curb impulsive purchases.

My experience with therapy has been similar. I've participated in several modalities over the years. Sometimes I go back over the same stuff and reprocess and sometimes it's new. And yes the issues resurface but we slowly make progress :-)

Morning!

Carbon, so sad for your friend.  Running into you was probably just what she needed.  Probably good for you too, as those kinds of situations usually help me to realize where I'm at and that "there but for the grace of God go I", thus giving me another sign that I need to stay on course.

Diane, keeping my fingers crossed that the services you've found for your mom work out. 

Paula, have fun with your kids!  My oldest's prom is next Saturday.  It can be tiring and lots of work supporting our kids' social lives, but in the end so rewarding!  It will stay with them, in a positive way, as well, for the rest of their lives.

Diane O, I hear you about Amazon!  Right now things are ok, but sometimes, when my food is in place, I look for a "hit" somewhere else.  It's great that you're recognizing this and doing something about it.

Food continues to be in its place, and I'm starting to feel more centered again.  This weekend will fly by again.  Lots and lots of yardwork yet to do, along with other stuff.  Where we live - our town, our street, the street we live off of, all have the word 'oak' in them.  You get the picture about how many leaves fly.  Luckily, we have had some cheap labor - my oldest and her boyfriend -the past two weekends, and all we had to do was take them to a local deli - Big G's, as compensation!  Sunday, my youngest and I are going to a dance recital that her best friend and a friend of mine are in.  Add in the usual housework, grocery shopping, and, of course, watching the Red Sox play, and it will be Monday morning very quickly.  Oh well, such is life!  :)

Have a wonderful Friday my fellow journey takers!

Hugs, Mary

Happy Post Presentation Day!

I am giddy with that presentation behind me.  Look out, world!  Thank you for the well wishes.  I think it went ok but always difficult to tell.  I know people at this level routinely give wild praise to peons like me and then among themselves let the real criticism fly.  But, one person, that I have no ties to, made a point to stop by my office afterward to say she loved it and that I am "brilliant."  She didn't have to do that so I feel that it likely didn't stink.

Enough about that (whoohoo!) 121.7 today which is aok.  By the way, I also do not have a pool but I doubt I would do a good job of upkeep so that is probably just as well. 

Paula, that IS a busy weekend but it will be a memory maker for sure.

I just put stuff in my amazon cart and then wait to buy it a few days later if I still think I really need it.  So, without food and without amazon, I find myself thinking about getting in a certain amounts exercise targets in. My brain is always busy digging at something, not always a bad characteristic, tho.  Just have to keep an eye out when it causes a deficit somewhere else (like bank account or sleep.)

Yours in skinny,

Shel

Edited to add a comment about honesty.  I know outside observation spots my BS before I am ready to admit to the BS.  In terms of food/weight, I am trying to stay wide open to feedback because I can gain a lot of weight between observation and being ready to admit.  And yes, that will include criticism from my DH, even tho I find it very annoying in the moment to hear this from someone who eats small scones by the pound.

Way to go Shel!!!  You are so articulate and personable in your writing, that I could not have imagined you doing anything other than a bang up job in your presentation!

Good morning Supah Sistahs and Badass Bro!  Yes it's one of those days where I'm blown away by all of you. Your experiences and reflections on them are so helpful. And your willingness to do everything it takes to keep your head in the game is remarkable. You are such an inspiring group of people and my life is enriched because of you. 

I'm at 113 today. Head noise was less yesterday but I did choose to indulge in my husband's pie collection. That was an okay choice, but I felt rather compulsive while eating it.  Gobbled it down, extra bites - you know the drill I don't have to say more. 

Diane O. that Amazon thing has some pull for me too.  I'm not always happy with my choices around that either.  I don't use the one click and I often just pile stuff in the cart and walk away, but as Shell suggested I should also remove my credit card info to create another step.  You all know how lazy I am. 

Our truck cleaning has been quite a big job, but so worth it. Finally starting to put things back together! Lots of masked and gloved sweat equity but very little expense so far.  Major kudos to DH because I couldn't have done all that was necessary.  Fortunately our six unwanted residents (final tally) did not do a lot of physical damage so the task has been largely around taking everything out of the cab and cleaning/disinfecting. Seats, carpet, headliner, centre console, dash cover, venting, door covers - oh yeah!!!  

They stored dog kibble everywhere - inside doors, dash,speaker covers and more.  Easily 10 pounds of kibble, maybe closer to 15 . And of course each piece was individually carried in!  Talk about an industrious lot.  I'm thinking they were preparing for the zombie apocalypse!

Have a great Friday my friends. 

Was the mouse mobile a terrific bargain? I can't fathom buying a "new" vehicle and going through all that cleaning without it having been an absolutely fantastic deal to begin with. 

Yes it was an amazing deal and we had a pretty good idea of what we were getting into. Still would have been ahead of the game financially if we had to put a few thousand into it but so far that has not been the case. We still have to sort out a few issues but no reason to believe they're major. The truck runs like a dream and should have lots of life left in it.  

In reality, this is not intended as our 'forever' vehicle (we've always had top notch stuff) but because we've never towed anything or camped at all, there won't be any tears shed if it gets a few small dings and scratches. Actually the body is in excellent shape but our low level of investment means it's not something that must remain pristine. 

And if we stick with this adventure we will likely upgrade in a year or two. And if we don't stick with it, back to a luxury car!

I work close enough to the Costco main office that I see their exec's.  One guy was a buyer forever. He traveled the world looking for Costco worthy items.  Now THERE is a job for us transfer addiction folks!

Some day, I'm going to ask why they don't add smaller pies to the mix.  I know I won't buy a pie there anymore even tho I know they are delish.  Its all about the bottom line.