April28 Thursday

Enjoy your daughter!!!

Oh carbon that's such a sad situation for your friend. She's lucky to have you in her life and I hope she found strength and hope in you. 

Hi All!

Things are going much better.  Food has been in its place for the past few days.  I have a directors meeting as soon as the owners get back with lunch for everyone.  I am happy to say that when they asked what we all wanted, I said I had my lunch and declined.  The wife of the couple who own the agency had RNY 5+ years ago, and has kept her weight off, though she's able to do so eating foods that I have to stay away from. 

I'll try to respond to other's post later.  Have a great Thursday!

Hugs, Mary

Sticking my head in to say hello!!!  Yesterday, I had some unplanned eating but am back on track today.  I've done the walk back and forth to the fridge already several times today!!!  And, to the snack drawer as there are Nutter Butter cookies in there.  I am choosing not to eat them because we're having dinner with friends tonight and because they will not further my goal of weight loss.  Wish I'd had this conversation with myself yesterday!!!

I was reading about Honesty this morning in one of the Devotionals I read...hit home.  I think sometimes when people are honest with me and I am truly honest with myself I can become defensive because I know they are right and I am wrong.  It's a hard thing to admit to sometimes.  When things are not working I am either tolerating or I am making a change.  When  I am not ready to change my behavior and I know in my heart I need to or Andy mentions or makes a suggestion I can become down right ugly!!!  Knowing he's right but not ready to admit or make a change.  Does any of this make sense???  I'm rambling... but this is what's in my head!  My journey is mine BUT I learn from others and take what is being said very seriously.  I think sometimes I need that hard conversation from others and from myself to make a change!

Compliance and Consistency-two things I need

Moderation-I'm not sure I can do this

Tolerate-I'm truly not tolerating my weight because I'm complaining about it.  If I'm complaining about it then I need to put up  or or shut up

I know I definitely need a plan and I'm going to work on that this weekend.  Write it down even...

Happy Thursday!!! 

Ummm... Yup, that's me in a nutshell! Defensive when I'm eating in a way I know will not work for me. I don't get ugly, but snippy, but more than anything I dig in my heels and sabotage with the thought of, "No one can control my eating! Screw you! Watch this!" And I go off the rails to prove my point - to no one but myself. How messed up is that?!?!?! Thank goodness I understand that now, which makes it far easier to avoid. 

Another thing I will do is push food so my eating doesn't seem as divergent. E.g., we are at Peet's and I suggest the baked goods- not Ron, but I put it this way: "Honey, would you like a maple glazed scone? "  Then, of course, I get some, too. 

Uh Huh....me, too...how manipulative we are!!!!

Recently Andy has nicely suggested I might not want to eat something ( I can't even remember)  and even told me No, he wasn't buying that because he'd hear about it later...lol  He's right!!!!  God love him.  He puts up with me and my disordered thinking.  He's trying to lose a few pounds right now which makes things easier.  He's not so easily manipulated!

Ugly...Snippy...I think we're on the same page :)

Lesa I appreciate your thoughts on honesty today. I always marvel at how easy it is to spot a lack of it in others whil it's so hard to see or admit when we aren't practicing that ourselves. And yes, you said it - deep down, we always know the truth. 

Good morning friends! 

Carbon, so sad for your friend! I've been down that road. I hope you assured her that she CAN lose the regain. It's good that she had you to talk with. 

198.5 today. Feeling safely back in "one-derland". Carbs were a little higher than anticipated yesterday. Ate a Quest bar to get me through to dinner, which was late due to the Home Depot run. For dinner I thought I had green beans, but Ron had eaten them for lunch. Instead I had some lentils and basmati rice to accompany my chicken tikka. The lentils were so, so tasty I had an extra TBS with just about a tsp more of rice. Not awful, but more than I had planned. 

Sleep was wonderful last night. Reconfigured the pup's living quarters and it worked perfectly for them, Blue and me. Hallelujah! 

NSV! We had a "Gramma Shower" at our faculty meeting yesterday for one of our Kindergarten teachers. (4 week old grandson in attendance-so cute!) The teacher hostess put a plate with the cake in my hands saying, "It's a small piece. You can have that. It's soooo good."  I held the plate in my hand for a few minutes and when she wasn't close by, put the cake down. I took it back to the table and left it there. I also did not eat the chocolate thumb print cookies. Both of those things were hard for me to do - especially the cake because not only was it gorgeous, it smelled wonderful. What I did eat was some mixed nuts. This was a major win for me after the last two weeks. Navigating a free food event like the shower successfully is a strong indication I am back in the driver's seat. It was a strengthening event for me! Yay!!!! 

I am always interested in where our journeys take us. I always see similarities to my own path in other's - even when I'd rather not! LOL (Took me a while to be able to do that, for sure!) That said, I hope Bonnie finds what she needs to be successful. 

Isn't sleep GRAND? So happy things are settling down with the brood 

Greetings skinny buddies

Yay, still at 130 today.  So it was not a one day gravitational blip.

Carbon, how do you get so dang many steps?   7000 is a big day for me.  Took the old dog for a walk in the dog stroller but then it started to pour rain and cut it short.  Will try again today.

Carbon I feel bad for your friend who has regained. She must find a stress reliever that isn't food. Unless its celery. I used to hate celery because it was always what you were supposed to eat to diet. Now i like it and keep it around and use lots of it in place of rice or noodles.

Having some hope on the situation with my mom. Have found a couple of prospective care services that seem decent and can do what we need. Just keeping my fingers crossed that cranky roommate won't spoil everything. Mom is back on hospice now.  Have run down my phone several times these past few days making calls to all these places.  I am afraid I am going to have to become an uber nerd and get a cell phone holster to keep it on my body instead of in my purse.

Contractors coming over tomorrow with their bid on residing the house. Gonna be big bucks I am sure. 

Namaste to all.   Outdoor pool? unthinkable here in our average 65 degree summers. but sounds like fun. 

Diane S.