VSG Maintenance Group
Monday, April 25th
I'm so glad you've checked in Devon! And while I understand you don't much care for that number and what it's bringing up for you, it absolutely does not define you. You define you.
I remember you mentioning that it was a litter of puppies that contributed to your downward spiral earlier in your journey, so I can't help but think about that now. Undoubtedly you are better equipped this time around, but the incredible stress, disruption and sleep deprivation this brings for you are things to take very seriously. Maybe you have to find ways to lessen the impact of that puppy brood over the next few weeks?
LINDA
Ht: 5'2" | HW 225, BMI 41.2 | CW 115, BMI 21.0
You are right about that litter sending me into a spiral. It was a singleton litter. Mama didn't have the hormonal drive to take care of the pup, but liked it well enough. I had to get up every night at 2 to get the puppy fed. I was up for about half and hour every night during that phase and yes, that's when my 18 month spiral really took off.
It will start getting better at night later this week. Once the pups turn 4 weeks (which they will be on Wednesday) they get moved which means I'm back in my own bed! Not sure where we will move the pups - we have two options: our bedroom or dining room. Not sure yet.
Yes, I am far better equipped to deal with the situation this time around. I have the awareness, understanding, and a level of self compassion I sorely lacked prior to going into therapy for my disordered eating. I know that what is going on is "normal", it is not a weakness or failing, but rather a coping strategy (albeit, one that doesn't work very well any longer!). I also know I can and will get back on track on reach my goal this year. Maybe not by the time I had hoped, but I will get there.
If today is any indication, then I'm off to a good start!
