Wednesday, April 20th

125 On the DOT!

Work today and bible study tonight. Gonna try and get some exercise in at lunch today. Most of my scrapping supplies are packed and ready to go. I will need to get the food stuff gathered before I leave tomorrow.

Great discussion yesterday regarding Bonnie's post. Thank you everyone for sharing your hearts and experiences!

Happy hump day to our Hot Harem of Beauties and our Buff and Bodacious Bro!

Paula

Morning all

great words yesterday Kairk.  Bonnie, you are not alone.

weekend was not good, upsetting family news still has me reverting to bad choices.

energy coming back after three weeks of total inertia.  

Wed means that Friday is coming!!!!

Oh carbon I'm sorry to hear your family news was not good. Hugs to you 

Love the alliteration but bothered that "beauties" starts with a B.  I have been trying to come up with a substitute but only come up with vaguely (or not so vague) negative descriptions that don't fit us!  So, Beauties it is!

120.5.  I am sure that I have never weighed in at 120 as an adult.  

Yesterday, I had a great yoga class and got in a walk while my daughter was at violin.  I usually use that time to go to my favorite grocery store but the walk was a good diversion considering that there is a part of me feeling very triggerd.   For the first time in too-long, I did not eat after dinner last night so I am hoping I am turning a corner.  

This morning, I am spending my time waiting for the dryer repairman to come.  Yech.  I think Buster and I can get in a walk before the repairman window.  Will likely do some home yoga while we wait.  And wait.  And wait.  

Shel

Ah, but the Beauties starts off the B alliterations - there are 4 of each (not that I am OCD or anything!)

Happy Harem of Hotties????

Thank you all for your responses yesterday.

Kairk, I especially appreciate your honesty.

Long post ahead.  Basically boils down to this:  whatever normies do is irrelevant because I have to do what I have to do with my body if I want to lose weight.  However, I must disagree with most of your assessment as to what normies do.  That has not been my experience.  But, tell yourself whatever you have to tell yourself to make it work for you.

Everyone has differing opinions and I enjoy hearing them.  I think it is important to consider different perspectives.  However, I must disagree with the talk on "normies."  I thought about it for a long time yesterday as well as when this discussion topic has come up before.  And I simply must beg to differ.  I liken my plight with obesity to other medical conditions--such as heart disease--that may have some lifestyle and diet contributing factors.  However, a lot of it is genetic and metabolic.  I refuse to believe that I am simply more slothful, and eat with abandon as compared to my peers.  I will continue to believe I was dealt an unfair hand in this aspect of my life.  Is it irrelevant?--oh hell yes it's irrelevant.  No matter how much I pound my fist and shout, my biochemistry is what it is.  And maybe some of my relationship with food has evolved to be unhealthy because I was forced to diet and have bad feelings towards my body/certain foods at a young age.  So there is a little bit of which came first, the chicken or the egg.  

I went to support group last night.  I don't think these people are THIS overweight because they have less willpower (or whatever you want to call it) than there peers.  I just refuse to believe it.  I am sure that there are some who have hidden candy bar wrappers, or have driven through the drive-thru before going home and eating a second dinner.  Yes, there are those out there.  And then there are kids like my younger sister and me who have been plagued by obesity since we were 4-5.  My mom would tell you without hesitation that there was just something "different" about my younger sister and me versus my older half-sister.  She was raised by the same parents (my dad adopted her when she was 5), so we had the same environment of eating, but my sister is a size 2 sopping wet.  She does do some of the things you mentioned--like naturally eating a smaller dinner if she had a large lunch, etc.  But she by no means eats less or healthier than I do (certainly not now with my sleeve).  My mom would tell you that was definitely the case when we were kids.  And my older sister would confess the same now.  

Who are the "normies" we are referring to?  With 2/3 the population overweight or obese, are we only talking about the 1/3 "normies" who fall into the "healthy weight" range?  Of those I am quite convinced that most of them are that way because they are blessed with a speedy metabolism.  Sure I have some friends who work very hard to be in that category--going to the gym everyday, ordering the salad without dressing.  But there are few of these people who I would say "earn their way" into this category because it's awfully hard to maintain that type of regimen.  I do know friends who would normally not be thin, but skip meals, have bouts with anorexia, do drugs to avoid alcohol calories...all of which I would contend are less healthy and less "normie" than what I'm doing.  

So while I do think very broadly it's true that "normies" have an inner calorie monitoring device, self-track their meals, scale back when they eat more, etc., I think the biggest underlying component is that most thin people have a naturally faster metabolism, and did not spend over a year eating sub-600 calories to lose weight and wreck their metabolism even more (as I did).  I also don't think "normies" make their own yogurt or have a craving for ice cream and eat yogurt instead.  If you want to tell me I'm not normal, or that we're not normal, then that is something I can wholeheartedly agree with.  But if you want to tell me that the "normies" struggle just as I do, but they are more disciplined (or fill in the blank with other word of choice) than I am and so they make the right choices, and eat smaller portions, etc.--well then I must disagree.  Normies may not have ice cream every night, and they may eat a smaller dinner to allow for it, but at least of the people I know--they get the dad-gum ice cream cone!

As I stated before, all of this is irrelevant because the metabolism I have is the metabolism I have.  What normies do is neither here nor there.  I think maybe for some of you it is an easier pill to swallow if you tell yourself you're just not working as hard as those other "normies."  And maybe for some it is nothing but another excuse to allow yourself to consider that you might not be operating on even ground as with those who have higher metabolisms. 

One thing that came up with last night at group was that our surgeon was now offering duodenal switch.  And the reason?  Because some patients' metabolisms were not strong enough to allow them to lose enough weight with sleeve alone--that they needed a metabolic component.  I initially went into this wanting the duodenal switch.  Because some of us, and I'm going to include myself in that group, need metabolic assistance.  Sure I lost weight.  Starving myself.  That's not normal.  

I don't know how often I'll go to group.  Unfortunately I was probably one of the most successful people there.  The Dr. said 40-50% of WLS patients regain their weight (not sure if the regain is entirely or how much).  I'm still at almost 100% EWL after 5 years of maintenance.  If that statement sounds defensive--it is.  Because I think I'm beating the odds and have done a pretty good job.  Yes I want to lose the 10lbs. I've found (which, btw, this surgeon says a 10% bump from your low is totally normal).  But I don't necessarily think that I have to throw the baby out with the bathwater to do that.

Now on the black or white issue, I have always tried to embrace the gray.  I think maintenance especially calls for that.  I have never preached a no carb diet because I don't think anyone anywhere can do that for a lifetime.  I think people who follow an entirely low-carb militant plan (like the ones so many surgeons preach) will be totally unarmed and unprepared for so much of life.  I think the fact that I have always eaten carbs, even while losing, is part of the reason that I was successful.  Now, just like my many skinny friends who are going on vacation and want to drop 10lbs., I am going to really scale back my eating for 6 weeks before my Memorial Day-Key West vacation.  If anything, that's the most "normie" thing of all.  

I do not mean to offend.  And everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion.  And hey--tell yourself whatever makes it manageable to do the thang each day.  But I cannot agree that I am simply more slothful, and make worse food choices.  It's irrelevant, but I am certain it is the truth.  I will have to work harder than normies to be able to masquerade as a normie (because, unfortunately, I can never be a true normie).  But that's okay.  I studied very little during law school.  Some students were at the law library all day every weekend.  And I still finished ahead of them.  Ah that's life.  Sometimes it ain't fair.  

Lots to think about in your post and while we're certainly not all the same, I'm not sure you've accurately captured my thoughts and approach, but that doesn't matter.  And as you've said, the 'why' is likely irrelevant anyway because we still are forced to do things differently cognitively and behaviorally to stay at a normal weight! 

In the spirit of understanding, I'm wondering if I could ask for clarification on your thoughts on metabolism being the/a major factor for you?  If it is primarily that, what  allowed you to lose so much weight and keep it off for several years?  Sorry, but I haven't grasped your thoughts on this. What's confusing me is how major metabolism issues that prevent people from losing the weight to begin with (which is as you've said about one purpose/advantage of DS) applies to your situation? I seem to be missing the link you're making. 

If I'm understand your question correctly, I think it is a lot like the one my husband asks "but why, if you have such a poor metabolism, were you able to lose the weight at all?"

For me the answer is simple--yes, by cutting out 80% of my stomach and starving myself eating less than 800 calories (most typically less than 600) for a year.  I was eating so few calories my hair was falling out by the clumps, and I felt exhausted after only unloading the dishwasher.  Anyone else eating so few calories would be called a crash-dieter, or anorexic.  But me, nope, this was "healthy."  People with functioning metabolisms do not have to restrict themselves that drastically to lose weight.  In fact, first month aside, I was only losing maybe 10lbs. a month (2 1/2 a week) eating 600-800 calories (max) as a 200+lb. person.  If that's not symptomatic of metabolic issues, I don't know what is. 

As for the DS, I think I was lucky to lose weight with just the sleeve simply because I did not wait long enough to be SMO.  From what I heard last night, people with very high BMI often cannot lose enough weight with the sleeve alone.  Many people seem to stop losing weight after about a year with the sleeve.  And for those who cannot lose all their weight within this kind of "honeymoon period" as some describe it, often need the assistance of malabsorption.  

yup we don't lose as quickly as you'd think at such a low caloric level. I ate 600 or less cals for weight loss and lost a little less than 10 pounds a month, which matches your experience when we adjust for height. 

So if you could maintain for so long, are you thinking your metabolism has changed or adapted in some way now?  what is causing you to gain now?