Tuesday, April 19th

124.4 today. Not much to share since I was a late commenter last night.

I am trying to plan ahead food wise for my ladies scrapbooking weekend. The menu consists of lasagna, garlic bread and salad Thurs. night, pizza Friday night, a cafeteria buffet Saturday night, Sloppy Joes and sub sandwiches for lunches and hard boiled eggs, egg bakes, muffins, cinnamon rolls and fruit for the breakfasts. Of course there will be a large table set up all weekend with bars, cakes, cookies, candy, chips etc. on it. I think I will bring some grilled chicken breast strips to add to the salad for dinner, bring yogurt and fruit for breakfasts/lunches. I might eat the insides of the sub and the meat from the sloppy Joes with some veggies (which is what I signed up to bring). I will make sure to bring some Quest bars and protein shakes to add as fillers. I will try to limit my indulgences to one serving per day and that will probably be a bar or cookie or perhaps chocolate. Of course eating only one with having them sitting around all weekend might (will) make me want more, so I will have to resist that urge, give into the urge or perhaps not have any. At least I am thinking ahead and planning for some healthier choices. I would say 80% + of the 36 women that attend are obese, most morbidly obese like I was. Probably not surprising to see on a weekend that encourages sitting on your butt all weekend doing crafts and eating junk! I doubt you would see that in a group of cyclists or kayakers doing a weekend together! I will try and get in some activity as well. The grounds are beautiful and hilly and if the weather is good, will make for a good walk. There is also a fitness area that I have never set foot in that I could check out if the weather is sucky!

I do have incentive to stay on the straight and narrow this weekend as I have my plastic surgery consult next Tuesday and don't want to be up in weight for that!

Have a Terrific Tuesday my Tiny, Trim Troopers!

Tiny, trim troopers !  My first thought was "Tiny... Me ?!"  Then I thought about it.  I AM tiny.  Paula and Shel are channeling their maintenance targets so well, I'm 1-2 pounds from Paula !  

I keep smiling when I look at the picture of sweet baby Red peeking out of her pen !!  I love the adventurous, confident, trail blazers. She DOES have a mellow vibe, at the same time.

Paula... It sounds like you are planning for every contingency.  Options and choices are a good thing !!  You make a great point about the differences between health conscious individuals and those who are stuck in a food driven life style/cycle.  You'll have to break the mold and show them what a healthy scrap booker looks like !!!

I hope all of our detoxers are one more day closer to breaking the cycle.  That fine line is such a challenge to find and protect.... and it moves !!!

Low end of my sweet spot and working to get all 1500 calories in. The healthy fats are making a difference, and WILL be easier than an additional meal or "non-fuel treats" to cut back on, if the need arises.

Have a GREAT day !!

Little Miss Red is truly adventurous! She was an escapee from the Whelping Box twice yesterday. I had to put the door in last night while Blue was out of the room. I usually wait until the pups are 4 weeks to reconfigure their housing, but I can see I'll be doing it tonight! 

Good morning all, 

121.7.  The VSG goddess is gracious again despite a very heavy bran bud day, yesterday.  

I have a meeting on an island today.  During the ferry ride, and now in a bakery, I have been thinking about what I find so alluring about eating in the outer edges of the food playground. This morning, my answer is that once I commit to the baked good, the internal struggle is over.  There is no more back and forth.  No more negotiating.  Just buy it, eat it, and get it over with.  

But, of course, that relief is fleeting.  The internal struggle would begin again in moments. And, I can convince myself that if I just get it over with again, that the struggle would be really be over. 

So, as I gazed at Little Red (I know that sounds ridiculous but there I am), I decided that whatever I would find in the bakery wouldn't be worth it.  By the way, this bakery is the only thing open this time of morning in this sleepy town. 

Normally I don't eat early in the morning as a general rule.  But, knowing the bakery loomed, I packed an extra meal of 2oz turkey and vege's so I ate that on the ferry.  Honestly, turkey plus the VSG is magic.  30 minutes later, I am enjoying coffee and cream.  The baked goods look fabulous, but they are not irresistible.  And this whole island has free wi-fi.  How cool is that?

Paula, as I looked at that menu I thought you were sunk. I also thought that might be event I would have to skip.  But, your plan shows how doable this can be!  I wouldn't have thought to bring grilled chicken, in particular.  Those MO women are my tribe (except for scrapbooking skills) and I know as physical abilities decrease, food entertainment increases. Such a catch 22.  I am sure you see this in your work, too.  We have a huge societal problem that is difficult to address.  

Have a glorious day.  Wish you were here with me, forced to ride the ferry on a warm, sunny day, sandwiched between two snow capped mountain ranges.

Shel 

The ferry ride sounds glorious!  Wish I was there too!

excellent place for rv travel ;)

We love that area!  Spent a lot of time around Seattle in the past, so will definitely be back with the bikes and the RV 

113 today. Still feeling somewhat triggered and making some unusual choices. Thinking about food more often than usual so the pull is stronger. Ugh.

Interesting and so true about the connection between sedentary activities, excess food and morbidly obese people. If it was me prior to wls, the crafting and the company would just be the rationale to gorge. Thousands of calories would have been consumed and it still wouldn't be enough. Paula, you have a great plan and I'm sure you will be successful. Me, I'd probably still avoid the event because I'd be scared of what it could lead to. Good on ya. 

Paula, I wish you the best this weekend. Events/Weekends that center around food like that are still problematic for me. Sometimes I am very successful, other times, not so much. May I suggest that if you plan to have one "indulgence" per day that you wait until quite late in the evening to enjoy that indulgence? It is a tactic I have adopted because should the indulgence trigger a craving, it is a before bedtime craving that will be silenced and vanish with sleep. 

Shel, glad Little Red helped you make a good decision today! 

As for me, I had a good session with my shrink yesterday. We went over my eating and then I talked about my feelings about the episode (none of which were negative, btw)  and then the process I went through to understand the catalyst of the binge cycle. With her guidance I discovered that I had been dealing with even a little more stress than I had thought. So given the stress, I really do understand what triggered the behavior. What is next is to try to find s few non food ways to deal with stress as it comes up - of course, I need to be aware of the stress, which is not a strong suit. I usually am the type to dig in and get what needs to be done and fall apart later. Does that make sense? 

Detox was fine yesterday. I did not monitor calories and was a bit low on water, but remained sugar free. I was down about a half pound in the 198 range. Today I'm rethinking some of my distribution of calories throughout the day. I'm going to try to eat a little more during the day to see if it helps with the drive to eat from 3:00-7:00. I'd really like to get the drive to graze under better control. To be honest the drive to graze really is from whenever I get home until bedtime. Something to work toward. 

Am feeling fatigued in the eating realm of my life. I think that has a bit to do with it, too. It does take work to plan and monitor and be on top of the lingering issues that accompany my morbid obesity. 

Pity Party today.  Anyone want to join?

163.8 on the scale.  I don't know if I'm "trying."  But I can definitely tell you that I've been trying to be more "aware" of what I'm eating.  But sometimes I think the more I think about eating, the more I eat.  that's why I'm afraid diets always failed me.  I think about food more, tend to eat more, and enjoy less.  Boooooo

I just feel like my self discipline is nil right now.  Everywhere I go there are temptations.  I never noticed it feeling like this before.  And even though I feel like every day I'm making good choices, I'd swear I was making better than in the past, it's like the slipups are the only things the scale notices.  I don't understand how I can scale wayyyy back on my wine drinking to just 2 days a week, and take bread off the half sandwich I used to eat as-is, and cook in more....and be up this high.  And when I am honest on MFP, it confirms that I am eating too much.  But what scares me is that while the calories may register too much--my stomach, my brain, etc. does not feel like it's too much.  It feels like it's too little.  Just like before WLS.  I feel so defeated.  

My pity party today has gone something like this:  I had so many regrets from childhood and early adulthood.  But I was a lucky one.  I reversed course at an early age.  And now how could I be so dumb as to give up on the one yard line?  I feel like I got "sacked" to use a football analogy.  This is backwards progress.  After losing 126lbs. (with a few needed more to go) and a tummy tuck and now here I am 28 and going backward?!?!  And pool season is upon us.  Mostly I just don't like this feeling of defeat.  It may be good enough, and my husband reminds me of what a good job I've done.  And I still get to wear 6s and 8s.  But I know I'm slipping backwards.  And I cannot stand that feeling.

What to do what to do?  I don't want ot hide from food.  That's what I've been saying.  I want to live in the real world where occasionally I do treat myself.  But maybe for now I need to check out from that.  Maybe 6 weeks until my Memorial Day vacation and "surgiversary."  I know it may not be the "real world" of eating--and neither was it right after WLS.  But honestly before I start planning on how to maintain my new weight loss, I need to actually lose (or, um, not gain!).  I'm thinking about doing the "reboot" diet from a WLS center here.  Or doing the HCG regimen--I know that's crash diety, but the primary focus is 2 oz. meat and green veggies 2x a day--sounds a lot like what I did early out of surgery!  I just need some black or white rules for a bit!