Saturday, April 9th

194.5 this morning. Up as anticipated, which is fine. I'm thrilled to be under 195 - even if it is only by tenths of a pound. 

I have a Cairn coming in 30 minutes and that's about all I have planned. 

Went to the theater with my pops last night and saw Gypsy. I am not an easy to please person when it comes to musical theater, but I LOVED this production. Thoroughly enjoyed myself. Confession: at intermission my dad and I had vouchers for free Hagen Daaz. I went and got the ice cream and delivered it back to my dad. I did look at the calories before eating it and was appalled - 310 calories for just over 3 oz of Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream. YIKES. But it did not stop me. My calories had been quite low for the day so that was not the issues. What I grappled with was if I really wanted to eat it. The answer was yes and no. Yes because it was a fun and free honest to goodness TREAT and I would be eating it with my dad. (He even asked me if I could eat ice cream on my "diet". He's very supportive of me working toward thin, because when it comes to being overweight he's a judgmental f*%k!). No, because I really wouldn't have even thought of having ice cream unless it was presented to me. I really didn't have an emotional appetite for it. Yet, I savored each little bite of my 3 oz serving and enjoyed it immensely. Calories still ended up just over 1200 for the day, so no harm, no foul. 

I'm tired! Have been staying up too late and wake up several times per night monitoring Blue and the pups. Not that I need to because Blue is an exceptional mama dog. It's simply I'm very sensitive to the pups' vocalizations so I awaken when I hear the complaining or distress whimper from the pup who is "lost" in the box, or what I call the hunger whimper (which is really pathetic!). Going to try to get to bed at a decent hour tonight. 

I'm sad that we are having spring showers today. We need it, but I was loving that 75-80 degree sunny weather! 

Devon

My judgmental sister has gained a fair amount of weight the last couple of years.  If she says anything about it, it is just to point out that it is obviously a medical issue because she is gaining weight on fewer calories than she used to maintain on.  I can't help but feel she is distinguishing herself from me, the only person in our family who was ever fat.  

I take no pleasure in this turnabout of who's fat now.  Her pain is palpable and I don't wish that on anyone.  So, I say nothing at all.  She has also said nothing, zilch, about my 200 plus weight loss.  I'm ok with that but it is hard not to notice, none the less.  She might be trying to respect my weight privacy; my weight was always a taboo topic in the past. 

Anyhoo, glad your dad saw you enjoying a bit of ice cream in a healthy manner.  

Edited to add CONGRATULATIONS on keeping

You're doing really well my friend.  Kudos to you

124.9 today.  Happy to have a scale that measures to the 10th today because my old scale would have rounded to 125.  In my dysfunctional brain, that 10th is the difference between contentment and mild disappointment.

I woke up not caring much about food today.  I wish I could figure out why that so I could duplicate it everyday.  It might not be coincidence that I got in 7 hours of sleep last night....usually it is much less and I suspect that I am chronically sleep deprived even tho I feel like I wake up refreshed.

I have already vinyassaed for the morning and will take my boy Buster out for a nice walk in a few minutes.  We are having sunny weather, always a welcome springtime treat after a winter of drizzle and rain.  

Enjoy!  Shel

Just curious about your sleep deprivation. Is it that you can't sleep or that you find it difficult to get to bed?

A bit of both, I tend to stay up to do "just one more thing" and time slips away so bedtime slips way back.  I always fall asleep quickly but frequently wake up refreshed (?) after just 4-5 hours. This isn't necessarily a terrible thing because I need to be up by 5am.

 I know that the amount of caffeinated coffee enjoyed the previous day is directly related to early awakening although it never keeps me from being able to fall asleep at night, even if I go to bed at a reasonable time. I am back to 1/2 caf or no caf today. 

If you are interested in sleep AND anxiety meds AND wine let me pass on a little info from a psychiatrist that works with my group of pharmacists.  

The psychiatrist instructed us to always ask about alcohol use when the patient notes that he/she is having sleep issues even if the issue seems related to med start or underlying condition.  She said that any alcohol intake after dinner has huge potential to disrupt sleep in all manner of ways.

 She doesn't say that it is necessary to abstain altogether, but she would like people to have their last drink by 4 or 4:30ish if sleep has been any sort of issue.  But, then that is awkward because that sounds like we are encouraging day drinking.  Or, as a patient pointed out, drinking just before driving home from work :) 

I have been meaning to look up Lake Louise, even way over here I have heard terrific things about it. How nice to have it within Violet distance.  

I absolutely don't do well with as little sleep as you get. I swear I don't know how you do it Shel!!

I've never heard the drinks before 430 thing and as you've suggested, can't figure out how to apply it haha. I enjoy a glass of wine but only infrequently indulge. Probably average a medium size serving weekly. I largely limit because drinking leads me to unplanned eating. And drinking does not mix well with antidepressant or anti anxiety meds I know. I can't say I've ever noticed poorer sleep after a glass of wine though,  but I'll watch for it. 

It's Saturday! Saturdays are good. I'm at my Goldilocks 112 again today so loving that. Had a very weird food day yesterday - not a lot of protein and probably the most 'proteiny' of the lot was a late night hot dog. And we know how healthy they are haha. Nevertheless, it was not an off the rail day, just a different one. 

Only made it to Canmore with Violet yesterday due to a late start. But it was still mountain time and it involved some twisty roads so a day well spent. So still have Lake Louise to look forward to. 

Interestingly, Violet will be my only mode of transportation  for the next while because we sold our car. Yes, we are purchasing a used fifth wheel toy hauler (to live in and store our bikes) and replacing the car with a truck to pull the trailer.  We still have no firm plans in place to run away from home but this puts us one step closer 

"Yes, we are purchasing a used fifth wheel toy hauler (to live in and store our bikes) and replacing the car with a truck to pull the trailer.  We still have no firm plans in place to run away from home but this puts us one step closer "

Sounds like so much fun! Love your adventurous spirit!

I expect you to visit all of us!  Have fun!