Happy Leap Day - Monday, February 29th

This is absolutely true and even the Nordstrom gal was commenting about how multiple sets give me flexibility. 

But, sadly, "perky" wasn't specifically offered.  I feel robbed!

Glad you weren't bothered by the topic!  I thought about you, specifically, as The Guy, possibly wishing I had refrained.  So glad to tickle you pink!

I want to shop for new boobs. Sadly, I think I will have to go the plastic route for them and that will be expensive! I hope the edema goes back down again soon for you!

The price will be high but they will be glorious!

Good morning!  This is my crazy day, so I need to be brief.  Scale up 1.4 lbs. this morning.  I thought, overall food was ok this weekend, but looking back, I had too many calories.  Clean today - it's easier during the week as I'm in a routine.  I need to plan better on the weekends.  Have a great day everyone!

Hugs, Mary

160 today.  :(  Not doing a very good job protecting my skinny.  Could be fluctuations from weekend alcohol and popcorn at the movies.  

I'm a little confused on where I am in this journey.  I know I've mentioned it before, but I keep coming back to it.  I can tell you 100% certainty I am not okay with being in the 160s.  But when I'm 155 or 157, I don't know.  I was really pretty content around 152-153.  I keep setting my goal to be 135-140, but maybe that's too ambitious?  I just cannot tell.  Maybe it's a cop out and I'm just saying that because I don't want to do the work.  I also have this feeling that if I'm ever going to "see" the 130s, now's the time.  I'm still in my 20's, don't have children, and aging as well as length of time since WLS will probably only make it harder for me to get down there.  I would like to be the "holy crap, she has a nice body" girl once in my life.

At the same time, the more I think that way, the more I lose sight of where I've come from.  The more I focus on wanting to lose more weight, the more hyper-critical I become of myself.  I've done a pretty freakin' awesome job, and I think that deserves a pat on the back.  I've essentially maintained a 120lb. weight loss for nearly 5 years.  Maybe I should focus on that and put my energy into "protecting my skinny" instead of focusing on losing weight.  I know those sound like the same thing to some people.  But for me they are very different.  Trying to lose weight again is very uncomfortable.  It means head games, head hunger, lots of negative self talk.  I wi**** didn't, and for some maybe it doesn't (aka my husband).  Yes I think I can lose weight again, but I think it means getting off the throne of maintenance.  I can't tell if this argument is rational, or just more head games.  I figured if this makes sense to anyone, it would make sense to you all.  

I really liked someone's idea of "dieting" for 6 weeks.  I can do anything for 6 weeks, right?!  I definitely need to try to focus more on doing the right things than not doing the *bad*.  I joined a gym back in November and I think I can count on one hand how many times I've gone.  Literally.  It's sad.  

One thing they do not always talk about is how after massive weight loss, and even plastics, it does not fix the negative self talk.  You know, in some ways I was better at this when I was overweight.  I suppose it's one of the more challenging things about losing the weight at a younger age.  When I was overweight I prided myself on not getting so caught up in superficial images.  I couldn't.  I would have felt worthless if I let those things influence my self worth.  It's a fine line now.  By allowing myself to feel good about the way I now look, I sometimes begin to buy into this measuring stick.  Unfortunately it now makes me more critical of myself than ever.

So today I raise my coffee cup to all of us.  For dreaming and believing in a better life and chasing that down.  I'm going to try and harness that optimism and utilize it to seek my future :)

Maintaining a 120 lb weight loss IS fabulous!!!! Huge respect! 

Did you ever have an accurate assessment of your body composition done?  I had a bone dex, a couple of others had the bod pod.  I think we all three found out that we are much more lean than our brains realized and felt more confident about where to call goal. 

Yup, I completely get your ambivalence about this. Like many things in life, there's no 'right' answer - it's really just about a number you can maintain over time. 

Love this post! I get the ambivalence completely. Been there! 

So here's my idea: Sit down and contemplate what you're really willing to do. Are you willing to......

Count calories?

lower your carbs?

abstain from alcohol? 

give up specific foods? 

What one is willing to do changes and fluctuates, which, in my opinion, is perfectly NORMAL! Make peace with what you are willing to do at this time and understand how that will impact your weight goals. At 5'7" or 5'8" 160 is at the top of your BMI range, so if you can think of any weight below that BMI line as icing on the cake, all is as it should be, right? 

You have done a great job of maintaining! Only you know where you are most comfortable at and what is sustainable. Be proud of all you have done!