Listening to my sleeve

One of the things I have not been doing well with over the past few months is listening to my sleeve.  I continuously try to stuff the last few bites on my plate in, even if my sleeve is saying I'm already full.  I feared I may have stretched my sleeve a bit.  I did listen on Sunday morning and stopped eating breakfast, but for the most part not so much.  Monday night, once again, my sleeve told me it was full.  I did push the plate away, but the old tapes started up and a few minutes later, I took the plate back and finished it's contents.  Again, last night I didn't listen.  I went to my dance class about 1/2 an hour later and was in distress.  I could feel the foamies ready to strike.  It took every ounce of will power I had to stop them.  As the class started, things got a bit better and I was able to dance.  In my journalling today (first time in weeks) I made a commitment to start listening to my sleeve AND doing what it tells me to do.  The actions and intentions aligned, as Diane says.  I did this when I ate breakfast this morning - just a yogurt with a few blackberries and a TBLS or so of bran buds, and surprisingly it filled me up!

Other things I've noticed and am working on include slowing it down.  I've always been a wolfer when it comes to food, and I've fallen back into that habit.  I'm trying to be mindful of this behavior and am cuing myself to slow it down.  Still not there, but getting a bit better.  The other thing, that goes along with slowing it down, is to chew, chew, chew.  Also, I always wait to drink after I eat, or I'll get the foamies for sure.  However, I haven't been waiting to eat after drinking fluids, so I'm trying to get back into that habit as well.  One day at a time...

Mary

Great insight Mary, I struggle with not listening to my sleeve as well. I can't seem to find the happy medium between listening and stopping and not feeling hungry within an hour.

If I eat what I put on my plate - it is all weighed and measured - within a 45 min time period then I don't seem to get hungry and have snacking issues in the evening. (I am talking about my supper here). If I stop (listen to my sleeve) then I seem to become hungry and want to eat something. I know it is likely head related; but I am trying to work my way through it.

Interesting how our minds and bodies work. Good Luck and good for you for recommitting.

Lorna

I too can get hungry later if I push the plate away.  I try to give myself permission to have a healthy snack later if I do become hungry.  Part of my addictive behavior has always been to eat as if I'll never have that item again.   I now try to be clear with myself (doesn't always work) that I can have more at another time, so there's no need to keep eating.   I also sometimes keep eating if I feel I can't have anything else that night, so better fill up now. Allowing that I can have a healthy snack later, if I need to, helps, if I'm able to be that clear in the moment.  When eating with abandon, and not being mindful, it's hard to have clarity of thought at that moment - the perverbial catch 22!  Again, it's one day at a time, sometimnes one moment at a time!

Mary

I have a philosophy I hold as a truth for myself. Others may disagree with it entirely, and I'm fine with that. Reading this reply makes me think it just might work for you. 

Here it is: My hunger is not governed by a clock.  

It is a simple sentence, but infinitely freeing for me. I do not believe in stopping eating so and so many hours before bed. It does not work for me. The more I try to regulate my eating the more rebellious and disordered my thinking around eating becomes. When I think I should not eat after dinner, I am consumed by head hunger and end up grazing, eating more - many, many more calories than I planned and feeling guilty afterwards. 

Instead I leave room in my daily calorie plan for a late night snack of about 200 calories. Being a creature of habit my snack in the evening is the same snack almost every night (Greek yogurt, 1/4 cup wild blueberries, 2 tsp chopped pecans and 1/2 cup whipped cream). I look forward to it and it is part of my routine. The shrink and the nutritionist see nothing wrong with this habit. I also leave room for a tsp of Peanut Butter should I want a bite of something right before bed.

Sometimes embracing who you are and acknowledging that eating does serve a purpose other than nutrition is helpful. We can't change everything at once. We need to do things incrementally in steps that are manageable. It has taken me 6 months to lose 30 pounds. I did it at a pace I could manage. I took a break for 6 weeks. I got back to it and have lost 14 pounds since January 4th.

I worked nights for many years before becoming a teacher. I was in theater, waited tables, sang in the occasional club... it was normal for me to eat dinner close to or after midnight. Even now I eat dinner after 8 most nights. Eating at night is part of who I am. 

Instead of "allowing" yourself something after dinner, why not try to plan it in your day? It might be something to look forward to every day. Nothing at all wrong with that in my book. When it's planned and accounted for, it's all good. 

Off my box (for a moment, anyhow). 

Great points!  My disordered thinking is all or nothing, and sometimes falls into the restrictive diet mode.  Most times I try to schedule in a snack in the evening.  It's funny, though, when I've given myself permission to eat later if I'm hungry, so I can stop when satiated, many times I end up not needing to have any more to eat that night.  Other times I do.  As you point out, it's the planning and accountability that are important.

Mary

Mary, what a great post! What a great focus to listen to your sleeve. I am with you 100%. I spent some time last year during my experimentation phase (and probably before that during binges) where I overate to the point of discomfort. There were even a few times I was not able to go to bed because I could not lie down. If I really needed to sleep I had to go to bed and prop pillows up so I could sleep without fear of aspirating into my lungs! True confessions. I have since worked a lot on listening to my sleeve. Sometimes it's still tough, but I do my best at every meal. 

Slowing down and giving your sleeve time to register satiety will really help your efforts to lower your weight. Even with a sleeve it still takes 20 minutes for the signals to reach the brain to allow us to feel that truly full feeling. 

Thanks for sharing Devon!  It's good to hear that others have made the same missteps and have been able to work hard at righting them.  It gives me great hope!  I too am finding that when I have slowed down, I get satiated with much less food.  Takes me back to the early days following surgery.  

Mary

I think there's a reason surgeons don't 'save' the rest of our stomachs to reattach after we reach our goal weight. By nature of our issues, we will never be normal around food, which means we will always need the physical restriction and the occasional 'hard stop' to keep us in check. I still get the occasional hard stop - sometimes from eating too quickly, sometimes from eating too much, and sometimes from doing both. Day to day, no, but occasionally yes. I try to see it not as failure but as a solid reminder that despite outward appearances, I am a bariatric patient. Always will be.